Get Your Free E-Book Today

Click on the image above to learn how you can download our completely FREE E-book to help you start being the type of guy that women see as “boyfriend” material, instead of being “just a friend.”


We’re Grateful For You!

thanksgiving gourds

Image courtesy of Tina Phillips at

Today is American Thanksgiving, which isn’t just about stuffing people’s faces and watching football. Sometimes we lose sight of the purpose, which is a time of giving thanks for all the things in our lives that we value and find meaningful (and maybe a few things we don’t).

The Popular Man recently celebrated our three year anniversary and we are grateful for our incredible success in that time. We’ve grown in website traffic, clients, book sales, and media exposure.

It’s an exciting and fun time.

Above all, we are grateful that we’ve helped thousands of men achieve their dream of getting into relationships, whether it’s friendships, networking contacts and, above all, romantic relationships.

So, to all our readers of this blog, supporters, clients, and partners, we want to offer our gratitude for supporting us! Thank you!

And, Happy Thanksgiving!

How To Make Your Own Homemade Frownies

girl removing facial peel off maskYou may think this is an odd post on a blog about men’s popularity and attractiveness, but in reality, it is exactly what we are about. While we teach a lot about personality, we also know the importance of physical looks in male attraction and success. While there may be cultural pressure that taking care of your skin isn’t “manly,” the truth is that looking your best is extremely attractive.

“Frownies” are a product designed to smooth out wrinkles and lines on the face. They work by holding the skin and facial muscles in place in a way that doesn’t scrunch the face up. Theoretically, if used over time, they train the facial muscles to work in a way that doesn’t create lines. Here are some official videos that show you how to apply them.

I bought some, but I thought the price was a little high. So, I decided to make some homemade ones, since they are basically glue and paper. However, the homemade stuff requires a little work. If you don’t want to do the work, just go ahead and buy the Frownies outright.

If you want to make them yourself, you’ll need some scissors, gum arabic (aka acacia gum), and parcel paper (aka kraft paper). The products I have linked to above are the best prices that I have found on Amazon, and that I use myself.

Basically, you have to make the glue and then cut out the shapes.

Making The Glue

First, make glue out of the gum arabic. To do this, I suggest mixing two teaspoons of gum arabic to two tablespoons of hot water. Add some water to a cup and microwave it until it is boiling. The hot water will make the gum arabic dissolve a little better.

Add the gum arabic to the water and immediately stir vigorously with a whisk. It will gum up a little, but keep whisking until it dissolves nearly completely.

Then, heat up a cooking pot on the stove. Pour the liquid into the pan and let it heat up. Once it starts bubbling, let it bubble for about ten seconds, then turn off the heat and use a rubber scraper to scrape it into the container you will store it in. It should be a slightly gooey consistency.

If this doesn’t stick enough when you apply it to the paper, heat the solution again to make the solution thicker.

Cutting And Gluing The Paper

Then, cut out your own shapes from the parcel paper. You can base them on the original Frownies, or make your own shapes.

After you cut what you want, apply a thin coat of the gum arabic solution on your fingers and rub it on the paper. Make sure you spread it out evenly, so that every inch of the paper is covered with a thin layer. Then, let it dry just a little (for a second or two).

Then apply the paper to various areas of your face, like you would with Frownies.

I have found that it holds just as well, if not a little better, than the real thing.

So, there you have it. Personally, if you have the money, I say just buy the Frownies. They are easier and pre-cut. However, if you want the homemade option, this should work well.

Happy Halloween 2015

3d pumpkins by door

Image courtesy of Suriya Kankliang at

Here at The Popular Man, we really like Halloween and have written a lot about it. It just might be the perfect holiday for people wanting to be social, meet new people (especially women), and just have fun.

And, what guy doesn’t need more fun in his life? Chances are, that guy is you. Or, if you’re a woman, it still likely applies to you!

And, this is true whatever your age. If you’re a young adult, there are usually college or local Halloween parties for you. Older adults often have their own parties or go trick or treating with their kids.

Regardless, it’s a cool time to have fun, enjoy life, and hone your social skills.

And, if you don’t have plans? Then, go out and take full advantage of the day, creating your own reality and finding a way to make it exciting.

Have a safe, scary and happy Halloween!


How To Meet Girls At Haunted Houses

halloween crossIt’s the Halloween season and single guys are still looking to meet girls, so why not try and combine the two?

First and foremost, remember that while a guy might be thinking of getting a date any time he sees a pretty girl, a lot of girls think differently. They may go to a haunted house, to well…go to a haunted house. They are not looking to date anybody at that event, particularly you, unless you come across as attractive to them.

Remember, in terms of human evolution, guys pursue, girls are pursued. So, remember two points before trying to meet any girl anywhere:

  1. They are at an event because of the event.
  2. They don’t want to be openly “hit on,” especially not from a low-value guy who is obviously hitting on them.

Ladies, you can thank me later for that advice!

So, with that in mind, yeah, you can meet girls at haunted houses. Because they aren’t looking for a guy there, you have to pretty much establish you are a confident and high-value guy before anything else will happen.

In all honesty, the secret to meeting any girl anywhere is to talk to her and establish yourself as a guy worth knowing.

Be Aware Of Her Body Language
While, yes, women won’t pursue you typically, they will drop lots of hints, including body language, that they may be interested. If, when in line for a haunted house, the girls in front of you get giggly, start whispering, or show “into you” body language (like one of them keeps looking at you, or her naval is pointed at you, especially if there is no good reason for her to be angled that way), she is giving you “the green light” to talk to her. While this won’t guarantee a date, or even that she will say more than “hello,” always be on the lookout of signs a girl wants you to say something to her.

Have Fun
If you are desperately looking for a girl at a Haunted House, it will show. Instead, focus on having fun first and foremost. Enjoy yourself. Make meeting women an afterthought that “just happens” rather than obsessing over it. You’ll find that if you are relaxed and having fun, meeting new people, including women, just happens.

Lines Are Your Friend
Most people hate waiting in lines, but that is a great place to strike up a conversation with a random person. The best way to open a conversation is to make an observation of some kind. Remember, simply talking to a girl establishes that you have value (confidence at the very least) over the other guys who are simply staring at her.

As we mention over and over in Be Popular Now and Size Doesn’t Matter, the best “openers” are natural conversation starters based on observation. Don’t use dumb pick-up lines. Below are some examples of observational openers. The last two are funnier and edgier, but the most effective if you can pull it off.

“This line is really long.”
“Have you ever been to this haunted house before?”
“That’s a cool costume. Where did you get it?”
“High Five (raise hand)! Awesome costume.”
(To a girl wearing an obviously serious costume): “That’s a hilarious costume. It made me laugh.”
“I hear this place is scary. A friend of mine peed his pants last year. It totally ruined his social life, but for some reason I always bring it up when I see him.”

Then, it’s your responsibility to keep the conversation going. This is beyond the scope of this post, but the best way to do it is to ask questions, show interest in them (build rapport), and flirt (keep it about 1/3 flirting to 2/3 serious/rapport building).

Be There When They Get Scared
If you establish yourself as a high value guy, then a scared girl is likely to latch onto you if you are nearby. They will only do this with a guy they consider both attractive and able to protect them.

So, if you connect with a group, make sure you end up near them when the scaring time comes, and who knows, you just might be the guy she reaches for when she feels the subconscious urge to grab hold onto somebody.

So, good luck. Check out more tips to meet girls during Halloween.


Can You Have Compassion For Frustrated Guys Like Chris Harper-Mercer?

The Umpqua Community College shooting in Oregon makes me angry, and like most people, my first thought is to take any kind of vengeance I can on the person responsible. Since Chris Harper-Mercer is dead, one way is to mock him, his views, and his situation in life.

I could look at his social struggles and laugh that yet another young, shorter (he is 5’9″), video-game playing loser (and likely Omega Male) living with his parents snapped. I could ridicule him for being an angry and creepy outcast who desperately wanted, but couldn’t get, a girlfriend (UPDATE: sure enough, Mercer’s manifesto reveals his girlfriend woes).

cem8My twitter and Facebook feeds are ablaze with self-righteous men and women pointing out how pathetic and creepy he was, as they analyze and mock every single thing he posted on the internet, looking for anything they can mock and rage against that strikes them as weird or out of agreement with their own political, religious, and philosophical views.

But, isn’t that kind of treatment what helped make Chris Harper-Mercer the guy he was in the first place? Or even if he was legitimately mentally is (which is likely), is that the way you help another human being in that state?

There are a lot of young, frustrated men out there. They have been given very few social tools to function effectively in the real world. They “live” in fantasy worlds, whether it is a video game reality or as a “big shot” on a particular subreddit or internet forum, which has little relevance or connection to the physical world around them.

They have very little positive masculinity in their lives. Their dads are absent, or perhaps the type of dads who are never home, because they would rather work all day than stand up to their wives’ constant put downs or passive-aggressive behavior. Or, their dads are physically and emotionally violent, and prone to random outbursts of rage, which they take out on their wives and kids.

Like other human beings, these frustrated dudes have a strong basic need to be admired by others, and for a romantic relationship. Because of their total social cluelessness, they are always passed over for the fewer and fewer guys their age that actually are in shape and charming. It seems insulting to these guys that a football player who is failing half his classes can have ten girls pursuing him, while these frustrated guys have messaged ten girls and have gotten blocked or ridiculed for their (albeit awkward) attempts.

And, these guys believe the bad advice given to them regarding developing romantic relationships with women. They continue to “just be themselves” and they are met with “ew, you’re creepy” comments from women and ostracism and possibly even physical bullying from other guys. So, their friends and relatives say, “keep being yourself and a good girl will come around!” even though no girl has ever come around them voluntarily while they were “being themselves.”

So, when their most basic desire isn’t met, they become lonely. They become depressed. They become angry. They are told to express their emotions. When they finally express this sadness or anger to anybody who will listen (possibly over the Internet), their feelings are once again dismissed and mocked. “Just suck it up!” “Oh, male tears; that’s hilarious,” “No guy is owed a woman; you’re a creeper!” “Dude, quit being such a pussy.”

And then they start looking around for answers, because the lack of empathy and worthless advice from friends, family, and strangers has made them even more sad, angry, and lonely. And they often find “answers” in the darkest places. Places that encourage violence and hatred.

Most guys likely create yet another fantasy world around these places, and don’t actually do anything violent in real life. The only victim is themselves, as they go deeper and deeper into a horrible emotional place, hopefully to snap out of it at some point and realize what a bad existence being in a place of hatred and anger really is.

However, some guys do take it to the real world. And, the result is often horrific.

And then, after they act out, we dismiss, judge, mock, ridicule, and bully them all over again.

I am not defending the behavior of these types of guys. I am not even saying a woman should ever be forced to date or even hang out with a guy who creeps them out.

What I am saying is that we need to start having some compassion for frustrated young guys, and instead of dismissing and mocking their situations in life, actually reach out to them and help them, both emotionally and socially.

Baby boys aren’t born wanting to join ISIS, kill their co-workers, or shoot up Christians at a community college. Next time you mock or make fun of that awkward and lonely guy no woman would date, or no guy will befriend, maybe ask yourself what you can do to help him become a better person, even if it is simply showing a little compassion when the rest of the world is judging him.

I suspect most people will just continue ridiculing, mocking, and bullying, because that seems to be what humans seem to do. I’m sure some people will even get on me for suggesting a guy like Chris Harper-Mercer even deserved some compassion in life.

Why Is Dating Advice For Men So Horrible? (With A Very Horrible Example)

I recently came across some very horrible advice for a 35 year old guy who really wants a girlfriend, but has never had one. I have linked to an archived version of the original page, because I cannot support the column by linking to it. It made me realize how horrible advice given to single guys really is.

upset man

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at

So, basically a 35 year old guy asks an advice columnist how to get a girlfriend, because he is desperate and feels like his life is lacking in this area. Also, he understands quite rightly that his options are dwindling for future relationships since he is getting older.

The response the columnist gives can be boiled down to:  you don’t really need a girlfriend, be yourself, and try online dating. I’m not joking. Read it yourself. But let’s not blame the columnist. It is probably similar to advice that guy has gotten his entire life (which may explain why he has yet to get a girlfriend).

So, we have a guy who, if we assume he started getting interested in girls around 15, has spent the last twenty years (7300+ days) unable to fulfill the most basic need a human being can have, and that is the advice he gets from an “expert.”

He gets told to suppress his most basic desires, continue being his same old self that hasn’t been able to get a girl for two decades, and go online, since clearly if you can’t get a date in twenty years offline, then magically you’ll be able to suddenly get one online.

In fairness to her, the columnist does suggest using online dating as a “test area” for developing social skills like talking to women. However, she must be unaware how competitive online dating is for men, and the horrible experience unattractive men have with online dating. So what she is basically telling the guy is to get online where he can “practice” by competing with hundreds of other men who are messaging the same girl he is.

This advice is a part of much broader trend, in which “experts” (along with family and friends) provide guys with horrible, ineffective dating advice, usually while also summarily dismissing any frustration or sadness they may have over their lack of a meaningful romantic relationship.

man plugging ears

Image courtesy of artur84 /

Let’s use as an example a 30 year old guy who really wants a girlfriend, but has never even gotten a date. He spends most of the day working a crap job, then going home and playing video games. He has the charm of a wooden beam, and is carrying an extra 50 pounds. His hygiene sucks, and he hasn’t bought new clothes in five years, minus maybe a T-shirt that doesn’t fit.

His family, friends, and “experts” tell him things like “just be yourself,” “join a club,” and “take up salsa dancing, because women like dancing.”

Yet, not a single one of his female friends or family members giving that advice would ever date a similarly unattractive guy simply because they met him at a salsa dancing event. And if they met a guy like that while attending a club meeting, they may say “be yourself” as a pleasantry, but they would be creeped out if that guy attempted anything even slightly romantically with them.

And, none of his male friends who actually get dates would ever suggest that their success is because they went to a salsa dance. They would likely refuse to “take up salsa dancing” themselves, even if they gave that advice to him.

And yet, this is the advice a lot of guys are getting. And, what happens is that guys who are sick of being single stay single based on all the bad advice they get.

Yet, there are scientifically proven things a guy can do to become more attractive. That isn’t the point of this article, but we base our books and this site on those things. However, most people dismiss the things that actually work.

They do this for four reasons.

First, many people assume (incorrectly) you can’t change your personality, even though science says you can rewire your brain even as an adult.

Second, they are often uncomfortable admitting what actually works, especially if it runs contrary to their particular life philosophy, whether it be their religion, political views, or a particular movement they adhere to that likely ends with an “-ism.”

Third, many people “lucked into” relationships because someone else did all the work for them (like a married couple who got set up by friends at work), so they may literally have no idea how to attract someone.

Finally, most people may simply be unaware of the subconscious factors going into attraction. Even though a girl may have chosen every one of her boyfriends based on his facial structure, height, and power, she will explain it as “we liked the same books” and “we went to the same school,” because she is more consciously aware of those factors, even though she knew fifty guys who liked the same books and who went to her school she never would have dated.

For example, let’s take the egalitarian female advice columnist who is reluctant to acknowledge that the last five guys she dated were handsome and charming and that she rejected ten guys who were ugly and boring in favor of them. In her mind, she may have convinced herself that she just happened to have things in common with all the handsome and charming guys, and not the ugly and boring guys, so instead of facing up to reality, suggesting that a perpetually dateless guy could go to the gym and revamp his personality, she says “join a club” instead.

Or let’s take the Christian minister handing out dating advice. He can’t say to his parishioner, “you are boring and socially awkward with a job that is going nowhere,” because obviously that isn’t exactly Christ-centered advice, even though he gets interest from a lot of women (and became the leader of the church) precisely because he is charming and exciting with a high-status job.

Or what about the parent? Most parents quite rightly love their kids “as is,” and want to protect their kids from the emotional rollercoaster of love and romance. So even though a guy’s mom fell for the rebellious bad boy who was dominant in the bedroom, she isn’t likely to tell her thirty year old son to become that type of guy, so instead she continues to enable her son to be a frustrated manchild who still plays video games in her basement (even if she can’t name a single friend who would have fallen for that type of guy).

It is time to stop giving frustrated guys who need real and actionable advice pointless and ineffective advice that the advice-givers themselves would never try.