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Hey Short Guys: How To Become Taller

An occasional trip over to the Short subreddit, or some other sites related to being height-challenged, almost always leads me to read  the occasional “poor me” woes of short guys. They have been beaten down and some have turned bitter. Frankly, I get their bitterness. But, if you have time to spend hours complaining on reddit, you have time to learn how to overcome the weakness of being short, which is a weakness in the dating market (whether you like it or not). So yeah, that is the bad news, but bear with me. Keep reading. I don’t think being short is really the weakness people say.

Tom Cruise is short (and crazy), but he get's ladies' attention

Tom Cruise is short (and crazy), but he get’s ladies’ attention (source: MTV Live)

Okay, this article is not going to tell you how to become physically taller. That is left to the fine and totally legitimate websites that promote leg-bone breaking, hypnosis (the great hypnotist Milton Erickson supposedly hypnotized a guy into growing taller, as told in the excellent book Ericksonian Approaches), stretching, and other questionable tactics. I misled a little in the title on purpose. I am going to tell you how to be perceived as more dominant, confident, and powerful by women, which, may I add, leads people of both sexes to estimate you as taller than you are when they remember you. These are also traits that women find attractive in all men, regardless of height.

When I was in high school I was always worried about my height. These days, I am 5’7″ on a normal workday, but closer to 5’8.5″ in my favorite badass black boots.  So yeah, I’m considered “short.” Back then, I was obsessed with my height, always comparing myself to other guys and women in that department. When I would see a shorter guy with a decent woman, I would take heart that I had hope.  I became an expert at determining how my height compared to those around me. And you know what this did? It immediately made me unattractive. I guarantee my insecurity showed to the women around me, given that they can read body language better than us dudes. I was in a negative feedback loop…my shortness led to insecurity which then made me doubly unattractive.

Women, when polled, like taller guys. Sometimes they advertise it to you. That is the bad news for short guys. However, when polled, people say all kinds of dumb things that don’t match up to what they actually do. Plenty of hot women date short guys. Besides, when polled, women list confidence as the most attractive trait in a guy. Yep, confidence. Humor and intelligence are high on the list too. When guys are polled about women, it’s mostly physical stuff that matters to us, like her face and body. Women tend to prefer guys with personality. In other words, looks don’t matter nearly as much to a woman as they do to you. So while she may prefer tall guys, she may overlook it if you have other traits that she desires. Guys do it too. We may overlook smaller boobs (if you prefer them large) if the body is nice, for instance.

In the animal kingdom, taller and bigger signals confidence and dominance. So among apes, cats, etc, size is probably a good indicator of testosterone level. Hence, women prefer taller guys because it seems to be a “tell” that these guys are higher in testosterone, and therefore will produce strong offspring.  This is why I believe, by default, women like tall guys. It is like a quick, unconscious analysis of a guy’s evolutionary value.

This is also why I believe height in a guy is an initial advantage, all other things equal, which means that if a woman is looking at two guys from afar, or during an initial approach, she will prefer the tall one to the short one. However, height is not necessarily what she is after. It is testosterone (signaled primarily by confidence, the number one desired trait of women in a man) she seeks. And, with the right moves, and a chance to interact, a shorter guy can prove he has the “T” necessary to compete. He just has to work a tad harder because her “quick take” is that short=low T.

You may think resting your social future on testosterone is crazy, but studies show successful people of both sexes have more testosterone in their systems. Women find men with more testosterone more attractive. And, studies show that confident body language (which women love) actually increases testosterone. A recent study showed women prefer dominant men to attractive men, which means that being confident (filled with Testosterone) can even trump being a tall all-American boy.

What does all of this mean? It means that increasing your testosterone is what it takes to be perceived as more attractive. The bad news is you can’t likely grow taller, but you can increase your testosterone levels naturally (no illegal drugs!).

Before I say more, remember that testosterone is not about some goatee wearing idiot in the gym with his hat backwards doing a hundred bicep curls while listening to Limp Bizkit songs. I knew a guy in high school like that. I think his arm was one big bicep; I think they absorbed his triceps, which he never worked. He rarely got women. Other guys kind of admired his ability to never leave the dungeon of a weight room our school had at the time, but women didn’t care much for him. Actually, far from the stereotype that higher T leads to incessant rage and the need to fight outside bars named after Jim or Bob, higher testosterone dudes are actually calmer and friendlier (yep, just read The Men’s Health and Women’s Health Big Book of Sex). In other words, the powerful, but calm and collected CEO of a local business is more likely to be pumped full of testosterone than the grunting guy in the gym who is just a grunt (pun-intended) down at the same local business.

A heartthrob at 5'2"...yeah Mickey Rooney back in the day

A heartthrob at 5’2″…yeah Mickey Rooney back in the day

So, how do you increase your testosterone? The first thing you need to do is exercise, with some aerobic intensity, on a regular basis. Add in some weight resistance, and you will get even more T. If you are fat, lose weight. Bigger waistlines=lower testosterone. Some supplements like Fenugreek may increase testosterone, but there is debate about that. I wouldn’t pin it all on an herb, although since it is cheap, I do take it.

Probably the best way to raise your T is to start acting confident. Even if you aren’t, act the part. Simply holding confident poses for a few minutes a day has been shown to increase testosterone. One pose that was studied is to stand over a desk or table and lean over it, spreading your arms out wide, claiming the space, just like any alpha animal would do. Do this for a few minutes a day for a testosterone boost. See, you just became an alpha male!

When you walk, walk with your head up and chest out. Develop swagger. Look people in the eye. State your opinion. Don’t agree with people all the time. Stop head-nodding to everything someone says. Get my point? All of this may seem awkward at first, but soon you’ll find, thanks to a cool positive feedback loop, that after you fake it for a while, it will eventually become natural, and one day you’ll just be confident, loaded with more testosterone.

So, this requires some work. Get in shape? Check. Lose weight? Check. Start acting confident? Check. Stop feeling sorry for yourself? Absolutely check. Maybe get off reddit for a while and meet people? Check.

Recently, nobody seems to care about my height. Nobody. Women tell me how hot, cute, etc, I am all the time. Many times they are ten years younger and sometimes taller than me. If they give me a hard time about my height, I turn it into a chance to flirt and tease them back. My “I-know-I’m-confident-and-I-don’t-give-a-shit-what-you-think-but-I’ll-gladly-flirt-with-you” attitude turns my height into a positive…something to flirt about.  And you know what? Because most short dudes are whiny, when I prove how confident I am, it wins me even more points. They are expecting to roll over me, make me cringe or cry, or perhaps score a few self-esteem points for themselves at my expense, and when I respond in a confident and charming way, I become even more attractive, because I am miles away from what they thought I would be. Got it?

Will there be girls that won’t find you attractive because of your height? Sure. There are girls that don’t find guys attractive for a variety of reasons. But with some basic tips you can radically up your value and level the field a lot.

So, men of short stature, quit whining and start winning. Buy our book Size Doesn’t Matter for specific dating advice for short guys. You won’t find another book like this guys. Also, our general flagship book, Be Popular Now, will help you to get started. I wrote another article related to obesity and testosterone that is worth reading if you want to start raising your testosterone. Also, this article was expanded to some degree in another article I wrote about women loving men with power.

There are two types of short guys in the world, those that are short and whine about it and end up lonely, and those that learn how to be confident and get more dates than most tall guys.

Niacin Grapefruit Interaction

pink grapefruit halfAlthough it doesn’t have anything to do with popularity (except for you can only be popular if you’re alive), I feel that I should write about niacin grapefruit interaction because when I had a severe reaction, I couldn’t find anything on the internet about the topic. I’m not a doctor or a scientist. This article just explains my experience with a niacin grapefruit interaction. Let’s just say it wasn’t fun.

The other day I took a gram (1000mg) of non-prescription niacin (Vitamin B3). I don’t take this vitamin regularly, but I was congested and niacin helps loosen mucus for me. I was a little flushed and had the usual niacin related side effects. They aren’t terribly fun, but I’d dealt with them before.

About an hour later, I ate an entire grapefruit. It was a fairly large one. That started what I can only surmise was a bad niacin grapefruit interaction. I started to get what I thought was the chills. In reality, it was my muscles shaking. I walked down the stairs and was shaking so badly I could barely stay upright. My muscle spasms were so extreme that I was becoming nearly rigid. I talked to my dad who is an EMT and told him what was wrong. By that point, I was getting a little short of breath and could hardly talk. I stood still while he took my pulse, but my entire body was shaking.

My heart was at around 80 beats per minute. While not objectively bad, my usual pulse is close to fifty. I was also beginning to panic slightly because I just could not stop shaking no matter what I tried.

I induced vomiting, then drank lots and lots of water. The shaking slowed down considerably. After a hot bath, lots more water, and a couple hours of waiting, my muscles had largely returned to normal. The niacin grapefruit interaction seemed to have ended. I felt generally bad for a couple of days afterwards too.

If you’re wondering whether you should eat grapefruit or grapefruit juice while taking a niacin supplement, my advice is don’t do it. I can’t prove it was a niacin grapefruit interaction which caused my symptoms. But, given that grapefruit interacts with numerous medicines, it seems to be the case. Although everyone reacts differently, my experience was absolutely horrible. I worried that the reaction would put me in the hospital or even kill me. If you’re taking niacin of any kind, avoid the grapefruit.

Men Who Hate Women

fighting couple in front of breaking heart

Image courtesy of smarnad / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Throughout my life I’ve met lots of guys who, for whatever reasons or another, just didn’t like women. Maybe some of your friends or guys you know at work have a hatred for the female sex. Men who hate women feel this way for a variety of reasons. We’re going to address a few of those reasons.

Men Who Hate Women

I don’t believe any reasons are valid for truly hating women as a group. Because if you hate something, that something controls your emotions, and if something controls your emotions, then you aren’t in control of your life.

Notice I am not saying bad women don’t exist, or that they aren’t deserving of negative emotions. Many people know women who are bitter, angry, dramatic, and will take a grudge to an almost irrational extreme. Many people have horrible experiences with their mothers, ex-wives, colleagues, etc. Women can be passive-aggressive and manipulative, especially in divorce proceedings. Even women often have disdain for other women. And, hating an individual woman who has wronged you is totally understandable. There are a lot of jerk women out there (See Why Women Can Be Jerks And Losers Too).

However, applying the behavior of a few women to every woman you meet just shows that the negative women in your life are still controlling your brain. What a lot of guys don’t realize is that when you hold anger toward all women, women emotionally control you, which is actually a sign of weakness.

So, while a man might have had issues with women in the past, he can’t let that dictate his dealings with women in the present. He just appears angry and weak. And, while women respect cockiness, they don’t respect men with unresolved anger issues towards their sex. Below are a few types of men who hate women.

The Butthurt Hater

Many men hate females because they’ve been rejected so many times. They absolutely love women. But, they can’t have a woman (especially one they’ve developed a crush on), so they end up feeling resentment towards the entire sex.

Believe it or not, a lot of “nice guys” fall into this category. When their techniques fail, they feel entitled to a date. And, entitled people end up hating what they can’t get. These beta male women haters have the right impulse (loving women), but can’t get past their bitterness. It’s a “I love her so much that I hate her scenario.”

These guys need to just relax and start being attractive to women. Rather than hoping and praying a woman will change her tastes to suit them, they should start being the type of man she will date. These haters really hate evolution (and its attraction indicators) in the end and refuse to adapt.

The good news is that women are usually attracted to personality more than looks. So, a guy can change his personality and get over this hate.

Momma’s Boys

Momma’s boys sometimes hate women. And, these men are some of the most difficult to deal with. On the one hand, these males, sometimes beta, sometimes omega, feel a great attachment to their mother. On the other hand, they feel emasculated by their smother, er, mother.

Guys who are attached at their hips to their moms often view women they hope to date and befriend in two ways: an ideal domestic servant or a hated, overbearing oppressor. In some cases, they’ll have these feelings at the same time. Talk about a problem!

God help any woman who dates this guy. No woman can win. A woman is a stereotype and label no matter what she does. Until he breaks free from his mother, she can’t expect anything but misery from him. But, that’s OK because he isn’t leaving his childhood bedroom at his mom’s house any time soon.

Guys With Anger Issues

Some guys are just angry and these dudes also hate many other people, things, and places, typically weaker ones (like the mentally disabled, hamsters, and New Jersey).  These guys will happily badmouth all women along with all blacks, gays, cats, beautiful people, and anyone else they happen to feel rage towards. Haters gonna hate and these guys aren’t looking to change.

These men need to learn to relax and take it a little easier. Life is way too long to hate everything, although if you experience anger all the time, your life will definitely become decidedly shorter.  They are the perfect recipients of the phrase “take a chill pill.” In fact, for these angry young (and old men), the pill should probably be an extra large dose of Valium (or at least Xanax).

So, there are a few types of men who hate women. If you are a woman, beware. If you’re a man, try not to be like any of these (usually dateless and lonely) guys. Women are human beings. Learn to deal with them and laugh at them like you hopefully can laugh at every other human who isn’t perfect. That will provide the necessary perspective so an entire sex isn’t controlling you.

Is Attraction A Choice?

young couple in love

Image courtesy of photostock/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Let’s say you are walking around at a festival and concert. You keep seeing women you are attracted to. You can’t stop looking.

Did you actually have to give it any thought? Or did it just sort of register in your brain? While there are occasional instances where we have to think about whether a person is really attractive, outside of these borderline cases, we know we are attracted (or not) almost instantly.

This is because attraction isn’t a rational process at all. We are attracted to others based on a variety of biological factors and chemicals (those currently circulating in the body and also exposure in the womb), a result of human evolution. In other words, generally speaking we find people attractive who are able to survive and produce and care for healthy offspring.

Men and women have evolved to find certain traits attractive based on survival. For example, women with a waist to hip ratio of .7 have been shown to be the most attractive to men. The theory is that this preference, like all other evolutionary attraction indicators, indicates the woman is able to bear healthy offspring. Women traditionally find men who are providing and protecting leaders more attractive than weaker, follower type of guys.

Also, bodily chemicals are important to attraction. Estrogen and testosterone play a huge role and differing amounts can both affect attractiveness (such as women preferring higher testosterone men) and feelings of attraction (women with higher estrogen often have different tastes).

In addition, specific brain chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline play a part in attraction. It’s why the exciting bad boy is like a drug to a woman who inexplicably (to her non-infatuated girlfriends at least) prefers him to the nice, stable, boring guy at work.

Those asking is attraction a choice also have to look at the nurture side of the equation too. It’s estimated that our lives are primarily guided by our subconscious mind. While the estimates vary, anywhere from fifty to ninety percent of our choices aren’t even rationally dictated at all.

This means, when it comes to attraction, that your subconscious mind is a tapestry of various threads from your life. So, a girl might find a boy who looks like her dad who abandoned her attractive. A guy might find a girl attractive because her cologne smells like his first love. A woman may find a guy repulsive simply because he resembles an abusive ex. Etc. Etc.

All of these subconscious thoughts are working overtime when we meet someone. We aren’t even aware of this in most cases. However, it certainly is playing into our level of attraction (if any) to the person that we are meeting or getting to know.

Of course, all of this sounds bad. After all, if attraction isn’t a choice, then are some of us unlucky? In some ways, yes. For example shorter guys and women with naturally poor waist to hip ratios probably have a harder time at winning over admirers. Fortunately, though, anyone can be attractive on a basic level and overcome their alleged deficits.

Things like losing weight, getting fit, smiling more, and being more open can make both sexes more attractive. Women can be more flirty, grow their hair longer, and be more open. Men can develop confidence, change their body language, take on leadership roles, etc.

These kind of changes can at least increase attraction on a visceral, biological level. Of course, the subconscious aspect is a little tougher. Obviously if you remind a girl of her horrible father, that’s beyond your control.

In some cases, it’s also possible to grow on people. Even if the person isn’t attracted to you initially, over time it’s possible to earn that attraction. But, it’s less common because attraction is most times fairly instant, even if the depth of attraction grows later.

So, is attraction a choice? The most recent research and our experience seem to say it is not. But, as with all things, there are exceptions. Regardless, if you want to succeed in love, get out there and find ways to be as attractive as you can.

Betaine: The Major Weight Loss And Muscle Gain Supplement Nobody Knows About

bicepcurl2Have you eaten any beets lately? I can’t stand them, but research shows that a chemical named after them, betaine (pronounced beet’-uh-een) may be an effective way to gain muscle mass while simultaneously losing fat, making it one of the few chemicals to offer both of these desired diet benefits.

Betaine is also known as trimethylglycine (TMG). While I am not going to get too into the science of methyl donation, just know that as a “methyl donor”, betaine may have a variety of benefits, including improving mental function and having liver health benefits.

To order from Amazon: Betaine HCL or without the HCL: TMG/Betaine Annhydrous (this bulk powder is the best deal by far). 

A number of studies have concluded that betaine supplementation boosts strength and power (see, for example: Journal of the International Society of Sports Nutrition, July 2010) .

However, the most exciting research was performed recently at the College of Springfield in Massachusetts.

Researchers had a group of males weight-train for six weeks.One group took 1.25 grams of betaine twice a day, and the control group (also weight training) supplemented with a placebo. The researchers reported in a 2013 issue of the same journal I referenced above that the subjects taking betaine increased muscle mass by four pounds and arm size by ten percent (!), while decreasing body fat by seven percent. The placebo group experienced no increase in muscle mass/arm size and no body fat loss.

Also, another study found increased production of human growth hormone following workouts with 2.5 grams a day of betaine supplementation.

So, while the research is preliminary, supplementing with betaine/TMG may help you see quicker muscle gains and faster weight loss. Either way, other studies show a variety of athletic benefits for TMG. For example, a brand new study shows that betaine helps runners sprint faster.

Note that betaine comes in two forms. Betaine Hydrochloride (HCL) is betaine bound to HCL. The hypothesis is that the HCL in the formula improves digestion in the stomach by making it more acidic. Betaine HCL is 76% betaine, so if you see an amount on a bottle (such as 600 mg betaine HCL), just multiply that amount by .76 to get the actual betaine content (600 mg of betaine HCL contains 456 mg betaine). Betaine anhydrous is often labeled as TMG or Trimethlyglycine. Both are cheap and readily available.

So giving this inexpensive supplement might be worth a try. If you don’t want to take supplements, quinoa and Spinach are particularly high in this nutrient.

Why You Don’t Have Money

If you don’t want to wait to learn why you don’t have money, scroll down to the very last line. The answer is there.

Growing up in a middle-class Christian home, I often heard these sayings a lot, either from family, friends, or teachers:

“Money is the root of all evil.”
“Rich people are evil and must be stopped.”
“You can’t buy happiness!”
“I don’t have time to learn about money; I have my own struggles!”

i-love-moneyI can partially agree with all of the above statements. When some people get money, they can become pretty evil. There definitely are greedy rich people who put money over the needs of actual people. I know miserable rich people and happy poorer people. And, I have things in my life that demand my priority too, so I can’t learn all the ins-and-outs of money like a PhD student in economics.

However, the problem with the above statements is that they all show a basic aversion to money and chosen ignorance of making it. I know people who really need more money, who need money for things like house repairs, medical costs, transportation, etc, who have these attitudes. They wonder why they are always struggling.

Imagine if you wanted to exercise and lose weight, yet you believed…

“Health is the root of all evil.”
“Fit people are all snooty and bad.”
“Being healthy won’t make you happy.”
“I don’t have time to learn how to eat healthy and exercise.”

My best guess is with those attitudes, you won’t get healthy. And why would you? Your fundamental approach to the issue tells your brain over and over again that healthy people are bad, and having health is a bad thing and not worth caring about.

I am not saying changing your attitude about money is going to make you money. However, as I mention in all of my books, especially Say It Like You Mean It, every action begins with a thought, so you can’t take right actions if you don’t have the right thoughts.

Here is the thing. Rich people get rich because they care about money, and learn the ins-and-outs of it. You can criticize them as shallow all you want, but…

While you were learning all the stats about Ohio State Football (or any other major sports team), and spending hundreds of dollars to support them, the rich guy next door was using that time to learn about money and spent hundreds investing.

While you were memorizing and downloading every Metallica album, making them wealthy, a rich guy was learning about the music industry and approaching bands about how he can help them make money.

While you were watching every episode of Star Wars, spending hours debating about the canonical status of the various books, a rich guy  spent hours watching investing videos, and was debating with a friend about the best way to make money investing in the film industry.

While you were producing 10k tweets over the last year that basically told 100 followers what you were feeling at a given moment, another guy was writing a hundred short stories on Amazon that are now generating passive income.

While you were keeping up with the Kardashians, a rich woman created a brand of reality that others wanted to watch and is now getting her own TV show (which you will likely watch and purchase the merchandise).

So, here is the deal. While I’m not saying it is necessarily easy to get rich, if you hate money and the people that have it, and don’t make time to understand it, you are leaving money in the hands of the already-rich.

Why don’t you have money?

Because you don’t care about learning how to really make money and create wealth.

There are other things in life that matter. I agree. But if you spend your time focusing on gardening, music, football, etc, and don’t have time to learn about how money works and ways to create wealth, don’t be shocked that you have the greenest garden, the biggest MP3 collection, and the best memory for quarterback ratings at your local bar, but no money.

I hate MLM products. I think they are horrible ways to make money. However, people that try to sell them are at least breaking out of the mold of the “work 60 hours a week for someone else until I die miserable and poor before I can retire” mindset. Those people are at least trying, and I find sometimes that can be a good start to actually caring about money.

I started caring in 2002 when I needed to open a credit card. Nobody would give me credit. I learned everything I could about investing and money, and even got my license to sell stocks and bonds.

It wasn’t until 2010 that I started to get the vision of starting my own business as an option to get out of the “trade my freedom to work for someone else” mentality.

This has been a long journey that is still unfolding, but I have saved and made a lot more money that I would have otherwise not made thanks to my knowledge and interest.

So, start learning. One book that absolutely changed my view of wealth was Millionaire Fastlane. I highly recommend it as a book to get started.

The books below are also helpful:

Personal Finance For Dummies
Investing For Dummies
The Luck Factor
Wealth Secrets of the One Percent (as of this post, soon to be released)