Four Surprising Benefits Of Gratitude

thank you post it note

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When your parents told you to write that thank you note to your grandma they were on to something (besides making you feel guilty). Gratitude actually confers some surprising and incredible benefits. Here are a few of them.

Gratitude Makes You Happier

Gratitude has been shown in many studies to increase our happiness levels. OK, this benefit might not be that surprising. Someone who focuses on negative feelings will get more negative feelings. Those who try to be thankful for what they have will focus more on the positive elements of life. This increased happiness is the foundation for all of the other benefits of gratitude.

Gratitude Makes You Sexier

Those who have negative personality traits such as rudeness are judged as less attractive for romantic interaction. And, people with positive personality traits are rated as more attractive, even when physical appearance is considered. And, what is one key to being positive? Gratitude for what you have in your life is a huge factor in a positive personality. Those ungrateful people who complain all the time? They just aren’t as attractive.

Gratitude Makes You More Popular

Gratitude positively impacts our mental states, making us happier, more social, more trusting and more receptive to interaction with others. In addition, expressing gratitude in relationships has been shown to make the other person happier and improve communication. So, being personally grateful and expressing it to others can make you more popular.

Gratitude Makes You Healthier

In one study, some individuals were asked to focus on the negative things in their week while another group focused instead on gratitude. The researchers found that the grateful people reported not only being happier but also exercising more and making fewer doctor’s visits. Negativity keeps us unwell while being grateful and positive makes us healthier (even physically).

So, with American Thanksgiving coming this week, it might be wise to take some time to think about what we can be grateful for. All of us have many things we could list. Be grateful and experience the surprising benefits.

Three Ways To Not Gain Weight Over Thanksgiving

thanksgivingnewThanksgiving is a great time: family, festivity, and…I can’t think of a synonym for gratitude that starts with an f, so…gratitude. However, it’s also a time for gaining weight. And, while a day (or two or six depending on how off the deep end you go) isn’t a problem in the long run, some people genuinely don’t want to go too overboard on Thanksgiving. If that is you, then here are three ways not to gain weight over Thanksgiving.

Workout First

Thanksgiving lunch is a family tradition in my family. Many people do a literal Thanksgiving dinner. Few people do a breakfast. That means that there is usually time to get in a workout before the big meal. So, if you want to pig out and add a ton of calories to your diet, then you can offset that somewhat by working out.

I’ve gotten in the tradition of working out in the morning before Thanksgiving lunch. If the weather is half decent, I’ll run. Otherwise, I’ll do an Insanity DVD. While I usually still overeat, at least I’ve offset a few calories through my workout. I can watch football on the couch knowing that I’ve earned my bloated relaxation.

This might make you more hungry in the end, so you’ll have to use willpower and/or use the other tips.

Go Lighter Other Times

If you know you’re going to gorge yourself for a big meal, then make up for it at other meals or on the day before or after. So, cut down your calories by 500 the day after or eat a lighter lunch or no breakfast the day of. Weight loss and control come down to overall calorie consumption. So, cut back a little elsewhere and your Thanksgiving calorie hit will be less brutal.

Eat Fiber

Fiber helps us feel full. So, if you want to not overdo it, then eat a lot of vegetables with your Thanksgiving dinner. Or, if you want to speed up the process drink some liquid fiber (like the orange stuff). Do it a little before dinner and drink a lot of water. Eat slowly and that fiber will help you feel more full. But, don’t force down the food anyway or you will feel very sick.

So, if you want to keep the weight off over Thanksgiving, these tips should help. It’s always good to enjoy life, even on a diet. But these tips should make sure you don’t gain too much over the holidays.

Yes, Dude You Probably Do Need Help

help sign

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

If you have a persistent cough or any other symptom of a problem, if you’re interested in your well-being, you go to a doctor. If you hear a noise in your car or it doesn’t work in the way it should, you, if you want a reliable form of transportation, take it to a mechanic (or fix it yourself). However, a guy who doesn’t get dates or has no friends? From our experience, he typically does nothing to better the situation.

It’s a big problem for men because we can be stubborn and stuck in our ways. Plus, as pursuers in the dating game, men can’t usually sit back and do things incorrectly and get dates. Women can do everything wrong and still at least get some attention. A clueless man? He might go months or even years without genuine female attention.

Guys often don’t seek help in dating because they don’t know they need it! They’ve been taught since such a young age that they should just be themselves and women will love them. Then, they watch as they are perpetually single for months and years all the while complaining about women dating “the wrong type of guy.” Instead of looking at attraction and their own limitations honestly, they cling to the false narrative of “be yourself” not even realizing the insanity of doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

If you’re reading this, you might be happy with your dating situation. But, if you’re not happy you might actually need help with dating. It’s not shameful to admit and it doesn’t make you less of a man. Someone taught you most of what you know, from how to shave to the training to do your job. Some men are naturals at dating; most are not. You can be miserable or learn a little bit and be happy. Pick the second option.

Here are a few simple questions to ask yourself.

  • Do I get dates as often as I want them?
  • Can I approach and/or talk to a woman I like?
  • Do I have options in dating (i.e. not having to settle for one girl)?
  • Am I generally attractive to women?

If you answered “no” to a majority (or all of these), then let me give you the honest truth: you need help. But, that’s OK and there are many options. We can help, for one. We have many resources, some of which are as easy as reading a book. In addition, if you’re in the Columbus, Ohio area, you can work with us directly or our favorite matchmakers.

However, regardless, if you need help, then get it. Being with a special someone is a deep human need. Don’t live in frustration. Admit you need help and go get it!

Dating Mistakes Short Men Make

Check out our first video for Michael Fiore’s Digital Romance, Inc. website. Dating is hard enough for short men. We talk about the dating mistakes that short guys make that cause the dating game to be even harder for them.

Three Halloween Costumes That Women Find Irresistible

vampire costume from behind

Image courtesy of Anusorn P nachol at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Halloween is a great time for guys to not only be social and meet new people but also demonstrate their wit, humor, and confidence through a costume. Some Halloween costumes increase your attractiveness, and make women want to get to know you more. Or not. If you want to show the ladies (and other guys) that you have these traits, here are a few Halloween Costume ideas for men.

Authority Figures

It never hurts to go as an authority figure of some type. Sometimes you’ll actually be admired and considered attractive even though everyone clearly knows it’s a costume. Uniforms make a guy look really attractive to women. The authority figure costumes can include being a cop, a Roman emperor, a firefighter, a judge, a soldier, etc. You can even be creative if that involves power and authority.

Bonus points: Get into your role by “arresting people,” making Caesaresque pronouncements, etc. Just don’t get too into it that you’re the one getting hauled off to the slammer.

Bad Boys

Women do have a certain fondness for bad boys. Even if they’d never date them, there’s definitely an allure. Just like they enjoying watching the bad boy on the TV, if you can dress up as a bad boy or villain, you’ll get those feelings going for you, even if you’re really a pretty good guy.

Halloween is the time to let loose and show your bad side (in a safe and non-threatening way). Bad boy costumes include convicts, vampires, pimps, movie villains (like the Joker), etc.

Bonus points: Be scary and bad in your role. But, don’t go full creepy. No one likes that.

The Funny, Creative, Or Outrageous

These are high risk, high reward ventures. If you can pull off something unique, fun, and creative and everyone gets it and appreciates it, you are the man. However, if it falls flat, is too obscure, too girly, or even creepy, then you’ll look like a tool or “one of the girls.”  So, do this very carefully, especially if you think you might piss off people too much or be the one laughed at (rather than with). If that’s the case, don’t do it.

Bonus points: You pick something that makes the ladies want to pose with you for pictures.

So, here are a few great Halloween costume ideas for guys. Pick carefully. It’ll help your social life if you choose the best Halloween costume.

Loving Too Much

love heart and arrowA few years ago, a woman died from drinking too much water. Yes, the very foundation for earthly life itself can be harmful…if too much is put into the body at once. Love is the same way. A very good thing can be a huge problem if it is overblown or unhealthy. In the case of romantic relationships, loving too much is a problem if it leads to co-dependence.

Co-dependent relationships are where one person becomes dependent on the other person, enabling their partner’s behavior while putting the co-dependent’s needs second. I’ve heard it jokingly defined as this: when a co-dependent is dying someone else’s life flashes before their eyes. That is how fused they become with another human being.

Loving someone to the point of endlessly accepting abuse and other problems isn’t really love. It’s co-dependence and attachment. I know people who’ve spent years with an abuser, good-for-nothing, or outright criminal all out of “love.” However, that love is, of course, one way. But, those individuals must have enough love to cover both parties.

Being attached to another person is a normal part of falling in love. However, attachment, in the negative sense of the word, isn’t healthy. This is where a person loses his or her own emotional (and otherwise) independence. I saw this a lot during my teaching days. A student would date someone, become attached, and suddenly all his or her uniqueness vanished. That person would become a clone of the boyfriend or girlfriend and all time would be spent with the significant other.

This isn’t just unhealthy, it’s a bad relationship strategy. A person needs to be his or her best self. While all relationships involve compromise, one partner can’t do all of the compromising, or all of the loving. When selflessness and loving sacrifice become the domain of one person (whether male or female), then it’s loving too much.

For guys, being too attached or co-dependent on a girl isn’t even considered attractive. Independent guys are much more desired than men who get whiny, needy, and overly emotional. You can be loving and understanding and express emotion. But if you need your girlfriend to the point that you can’t imagine your life without her? Well, then you’ve crossed into pathetic. And, if she’s emotionally healthy herself, she’ll agree.