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We’ve talked a lot about the friend zone in the past and it’s something that many guys have dealt with. In the end, if a guy wants a romantic relationship, being just friends with that girl can be frustrating and annoying. It is especially hard at times because the woman doesn’t even seem to be aware there is an issue.

However, there is hope for guys stuck in the dreaded friend zone!

You can download our free ebook called Three Reasons You Are In The Friend Zone (And How To Get Out). All you have to do is sign up for our mailing list. You’ll also receive updates on recent students, tips to be more confident, etc.

What are you waiting for? Learn how to leave (and avoid) the friend zone now.

From Anger To Action

man yelling into phone

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Where I used to teach, my freer style contrasted pretty sharply with the hidebound (look it up), uptight mentality of the school leadership. So, they decided not to bring me back for my sixth year of teaching. In spite of massive student and parent protests they refused to change their minds. I had no control of the situation and was out of a job because of it. I was pissed.

It still makes me mad to think about it. You might have similar incidents in your lives that were unfair or unjust that made or make you mad. Maybe you are upset and angry about the state of your country or even the world. It’s easy to get mad and frustrated, especially when outside forces keep you from living your dreams (or even getting by).

However, anger doesn’t really accomplish a whole lot just by itself. In fact, angry people aren’t usually considered all that fun to be around. And, that’s in addition to the negative health benefits that being angry a lot can cause. Anger can be good if it’s a temporary release. But, staying angry creates more problems than positives.

Anger is only good if it leads to positive action and making change and then goes away. In my situation, my anger at being let go led to a total change in my attitude and outlook. I decided to get out of religious education and start nurturing different talents and interests. It also inspired me to become more assertive and confident and stop relying on people and institutions for my identity and happiness.

So, if things aren’t going the way you’d like and you’re angry, welcome to the human race. However, let that anger turn into action. Make it a motivator to do better personally or to make the world better. Many of the great people throughout history got angry about an issue then changed the world. However, the perpetually angry people whose only action was acting angry all the time? They’re usually judged as losers.

So turn your anger, disappointment, or anything else into action. Get motivated to change yourself and the world–in a positive way. You’ll be a lot more attractive for it.

Being Fit As a Demonstration of High Value

man working outWe’ve talked a lot about how personality plays a much more important role in attraction to women. In other words, while women certainly like good looking men, they value personality in choosing a partner far more than men do when choosing a woman. In spite of this, we also emphasize the importance of health and exercise frequently. So, is there a contradiction?

Not really. We talk a lot about how women typically assess guys in terms of “value.” This sounds crass and it’s not usually conscious. But, more than men, women want to see if a guy is a winner or a loser. They want to date the high value winners. And, by the way, value doesn’t mean nice and kind and friend material. Guys traditionally perceived as losers can be seen as winners in an evolutionary sense (providing, protecting, etc.).

This is where being fit (and even generally good looking) comes in. Fitness is a demonstration of a guy’s value. While it can’t overcome a bland, overly “nice guy” personality, it certainly helps a guy appear as confident and dominant.

Being fit, especially in 2014, really is an accomplishment, especially in the United States and other Western countries. It shows hard work, determination, patience, delayed gratification, and the ability to follow through with a difficult task. Plus, fit men (not overly skinny or bulky) are more aesthetically pleasing to the female eye.

So, fitness and having a good body are important. Don’t ever give up a fitness routine if you have it. And if you don’t have one, then get on it. However, work your fitness routine along with a routine that improves your personality and overall self. Make yourself as high value as possible, not only for the women you hope to attract but to be successful in all areas of life.

Attraction “Facts” That Keep Guys Single

You can check out my latest for Michael Fiore’s blog where I talk about things guys believe about attraction that keep them single.

Our Newest Book Is Out: Size Doesn’t Matter

Size Doesn't Matter CoverWe have just released our newest book, Size Doesn’t Matter: The Short Man’s Handbook of Dating And Relationship Success. This is a book that many of our clients and readers have asked for.

Let’s be honest. In the “dating game” shorter guys are at a disadvantage. (Lack of) height is almost always a main reason short guys get rejected by women. Some women are vocal about their lack of interest (and sometimes outright hatred) of shorter guys. Online dating is particularly bad, and many women pre-sort any guy who isn’t tall.

Add this to the reality that in virtually every movie and fairy tale the hero is usually a tall guy (at least in comparison to the girl) and the male villain is often short. Many people even openly mock short celebrities like Tom Cruise for his height (there are actually good reasons to poke fun at Cruise…his height isn’t one of them though).

Yet, we all know shorter guys that get all kinds of female attention (Cruise included). What do these guys have that other short guys don’t? Well, we explain this is Size Doesn’t Matter. We include over 280 pages of top-notch, science-based tips that will give any guy the power to become more attractive to women, and make up for the height disadvantage.  This book is empowering for shorter guys, and includes a great appendix with funny and confident “come backs” for when women (and men) use short stature as a put-down.

The feedback we have gotten from this book has been very positive, and even taller guys that have read it have said the advice is spot on, for everybody.

Order it today in print and on kindle.

Lessons From the Bachelor In Paradise

tropical paradiseLast week’s Bachelor in Paradise (I half watched it while doing other things; don’t judge me) provided some great insights into the dating game, especially for guys. Although I’m not a huge fan of these shows, this one does provide an interesting and intense look into the dating dynamic.

Let me give you the relevant backstory.

There were two guys trying to win “roses” from women. They had to get a rose or they were eliminated from the competition. One guy supposedly ruined his chances with one of the women by telling her she drank too much. She was indignant. She asked another guy, a “nice” guy if she drank too much (directly to his face). He said “no.” He assumed he was getting her rose. The other guy assumed he would not.

In the second scenario, another guy was dealing with a girl who had a crush on him. He friend-zoned her in favor of her friend. He told her friend that he would refuse the rose of the other girl, the one he friend zoned. It was implied that the girl he liked would then give him a rose.

So, these scenarios seemed cut and dry. However, the dating game never is straightforward. Here is what happened: the girl who got mad at the guy for accusing her of being a drunk? She gave her rose to him, not the nice guy. And, the guy who agreed to turn down a rose under the assumption the other girl would give him one? He turned it down from the girl he friend zoned. But, the girl he liked didn’t give him the rose.

What should have these guys done? It depends on their goals. However, if they wanted to stay on the show and win the affection of the various women, here is what I believe should’ve happened.

In the first scenario, the guy who more or less called the woman a drunk had edginess and boldness on his side. That’s always a plus even if he’s being a bit of a jerk. But, I believe the nice guy ultimately ruined his chances. He failed a woman’s direct shit test (this is where a woman gives a guy “shit” and how he responds determines his value to her). As weird as it sounds, he shouldn’t have agreed with her. He should’ve been funny or witty about the response to her question. He gave her the answer she wanted to hear, but he came across as a butt kisser. So, he said what she wanted, but he still gave the wrong answer. Yes, women are complicated.

In the second case, the man, Dylan, did the right thing from a moral perspective. He was loyal to his word and followed what he thought was right. He wanted to be the one girl’s friend only, so he refused a rose. And he made a tacit agreement with the other girl. He was direct and logical. It’s too bad that, first, this is a game, and second women aren’t always direct and logical. What should he have done? He should’ve taken the rose from the first woman. She already knew where he stood, so he didn’t lose any sense of directness. And, it would’ve made the second girl very jealous.

Hindsight is always 20/20 and of course the Bachelor is particularly ruthless. But, it mirrors some of the harsh realities of dating for the average person, as well.