If you’ve been following the news, you’ll hear a lot about the opiate crisis related to the spike in heroin addiction. Perhaps you’ve also know people who’ve been addicted to other substances like alcohol, drugs, coffee, and even sugar.
Lots of people try to give up these substances, but the process isn’t always easy on the body. Consequently, they have to remove the toxins from their bodies. The process is called “detox” it cleanses their body. It can be a permanent or temporary detox.
However, there’s another type of addiction that sometimes needs detox as well: love and relationships. Don’t laugh. Studies have demonstrated that the brain reacts to love in similar ways to other types of addictions. Consequently, many experts have recognized that love has all the usual symptoms of addiction.
What this means is that love, especially in the early stages can really mess up our brain chemistry. In fact, falling in love, at least in men, drops serotonin (the happy chemical) and testosterone (the manly, and oddly enough, calming chemical). It can also cause dopamine (pleasure chemical) levels to spike and fall like a roller coaster.
The result of this? A lack of contentment, increased mania, and a desire to seek out the next love “high,” which could be a text message from your crush or a compliment from your girlfriend.
While these chemicals level out over time, in the early days of “love,” they can lead to horrible feelings and a lack of detachment and excellence. In other words, being too into women (or their pursuit) can make you horrible at actually pursuing (and winning over) women.
Not only that, but within relationships, this attachment can lead to jealousy, neediness, controlling behaviors, and, ultimately, a breakup.
I recommend having a detox day from women every week. This doesn’t mean that you stop being around women or ignore your wife or girlfriend. That is a recipe for trouble. Likewise, if you’re single and a hot woman approaches you, this doesn’t mean you tell her to stop!
Rather, this involves spending a day a week not actively seeking women, thinking about them, or being focused on them. Instead, you keep your mindset focused on yourself and bettering yourself. This might sound selfish and it is to a degree.
But, this will make you a better person, which will in turn make you happier and more attractive. If you’re in a relationship, it will make you a better husband, boyfriend, and even father. A burnt out, needy mess isn’t anyone’s idea of a “catch.”
So, if you have an online dating account, don’t check it. If you’re texting a woman all the time, cut back for that day. Obviously, you don’t want to ghost a girl you’re dating or ignore your wife. But, on this day you aren’t at her beck and call.
Find something to do like hiking, which allows you to leave your phone. If you go out that night, do it with friends and the goal to hang out with them. Spend one day a week totally unfocused on impressing or pursuing the ladies. Cultivate a hobby, start a business, go to the gym, etc.
What’s the purpose of this? First, it’s to create excellence. As a man, you have to first focus on yourself. Better yourself, be excellent, become the person women desire. That must be your first goal. You can’t do that if you’re obsessively texting a girl and sweating bullets when she takes an hour to respond.
Second, detoxing from women allows you to be detached and aloof. Detachment helps improve relationships in major ways. You have to be excellent enough that you don’t fall into neediness and attachment. Confidence and excellence lead to detachment.
Now, you still should be nice, generous, friendly, etc. to women. But, by detoxing from the attraction and attachment part of the equation, you should help reign in your more unattractive traits (like oneitis, emotionalism, jealousy, pity parties, etc.).
Finally, a detox day helps you achieve these traits every single day. That’s right. By taking a day a week to stop being so obsessed and dependent on women, you’re training yourself (and your lovesick brain) to pursue excellence and detachment full time. You’re able to slowly pull away from old brain wiring that keeps you dateless and instead come away as an excellent, detached attractive man.
So, consider having a detox day from women in your week. Focus on bettering yourself and doing what you truly love to do.