When I was in high school, I liked a girl named Kate. We hung out each day after school and on weekends. I’d go to festivals and events with her family and we’d talk for hours on end. She even told me that she loved me!
Yet, did we date? If you said, “yes,” you’d be wrong. Women can be very confusing. And, in spite of the previous information, Kate only liked me as a friend. I tried to ask her out and fell flat. This was after she told me she loved me!
You’ve probably been in a similar situation where you thought a woman liked you, but then were turned down. Wouldn’t it be great if there were some clear indicators?
The good news is that there are signs a girl wants you to ask her out. However, they aren’t always the ones you’d think (like my story). This article will let you know what signs to look for to tell she’s truly interested.
Signs of Attraction Vs. Friendship
This distinction is very important, so pay careful attention. When looking for signs a girl wants you to ask her out, you have to look beyond normal signs to true indicators that she’s attracted to you.
Generally speaking, if she behaves a certain way with her female friends and acts that way towards you, then you know that she likes you. But, liking you generally doesn’t mean she likes you romantically.
Yes, even with Kate, they were mainly signs of friendship.
- Spending time together- friends do that
- Going with her family to events- friends do that
- Having long talks- women do that with their friends
- Saying “I love you”- yes, women do that with their friends too
Now, some of these apply to their romantic relationships, as well. But, there is nothing here that sets it apart from a friendship. That’s why you need to look at actual signs she’s attracted to you. Here are some of them that indicate she wants to ask you out.
Body Language Signs
One of the best ways to determine if she likes you is through her body language. Male and female body language are given and received subconsciously. That means that you can get to the truth of her feelings by looking at her body, even if, in her words, she’s trying to deny her feelings.
Now, if she gives you these signs, it’s no guarantee that she will end up dating you. She might like you a lot, but have a boyfriend. Or, maybe she is emotionally distant and fears commitment. However, these signs will give you a window into her feelings.
Playing With Her Hair
When a girl likes you, one sign of that is flipping her hair or playing with it. Flipping her hair is when she brushes it away from her face abruptly. Many women will also twist their hair and generally mess with it.
This probably is an evolutionary adaptation designed to get a guy’s attention since we are visual creatures who like motion (e.g. our love of football). If she can’t keep her hands away from her hair when you’re around, it’s a good sign she likes you.
These eye related signs can come in three main ways.
First, she might stare at you. Women can be pretty subtle about this, so you might have to “catch” her doing it. Or, ask your buddies to tell you if she’s staring or not.
Second, she will make eye contact with you. Pay attention when you’re talking to her. If she is constantly locking eyes with yours, it’s a good sign she likes you.
Finally, look at her pupils (the black part of the eye). Dilated, or enlarged, pupils are a sign she’s attracted to you. Pupils can be larger in darker light, so make sure to observe this in normal conditions. But, if it’s normal light and her pupils are big, it’s a sign she likes you.
When I look back at my time with Kate, we almost never touched, which was odd for two people that I thought liked each other.
Romantic relationships involve touching, usually a lot of it. So, she will find ways to touch you, even if they seem small. She might touch your arm, give you a back rub, or invade your space. For example, if you both sit on a couch and there is a lot of space and she sits oddly close to you, that is a sign she wants to be nearer to you.
Gives You Her Best Time And Attention
I mentioned earlier that Kate and I hung out all the time and it only meant friendship. It was attention. However, you have to look at the type of attention you’re getting.
While I got a lot of Kate’s time, I didn’t get her best time and attention. Sure, we’d hang out after school and with her family. But, I never went to any school dances or events with her. She always went with other guys.
If the girl you like doesn’t hang with others guys and gives her best attention to you, then she probably likes you in a romantic way. If she dates around a lot and doesn’t invite you to important events in her life, she probably doesn’t have feelings.
When I was in university, I met a girl named Terra. I wasn’t sure if she liked me and looked for signs. She told me how she would let me photograph her without clothes. I was a stupid young man. But, even I knew that was a pretty big sign.
While most women aren’t that bold, you’d be shocked how even passive women will drop hints. They might say how they’d let you do something to them (like kiss them or hold their hand) or speak theoretically involving you (like you two would make a cute couple).
Pay careful attention to the hints she drops. If she does it a lot, then it’s a sign she wants you to ask her out. If she never drops hints, then she probably doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea and she prefers to remain friends.
These signs should help you navigate the confusing situation many guys face with women: determining if a girl is attracted to you and wants you to ask her out. These aren’t guarantees she likes you. But, if you notice a few of them, it’s a good indicator you need to ask her out!