Balancing Awareness And Anxiety In Dating

straight jacket adWe’ve talked a lot about the need for men to be socially aware (and generally aware) when playing the dating game. They have to look for the body language signs, read into her text patterns, see what she says and how she says it, etc. And, all of this is important. However, sometimes, it can become a problem.

Let’s look at a theoretical scenario. You meet a girl you like at the gym. You read the signs of attraction, determine she likes you, and get her number. You text her. She seems happy and interested. Then, she doesn’t. Then, she does again. You then parse every word, measure the times between every message, ask yourself if she still feels attraction or is just faking it and does she have someone else and why in the world won’t she just tell you that she likes you and….Arrggggghhh!

Two days later you’re ready to check yourself into a mental health facility. As we’ve also mentioned before, love can really mess up the brain. Incredibly so.

And, when you get your rational brain involved, trying to interpret the facts while your limbic brain is making you a mess, it can lead to more mess and a cycle of paranoia and mental pain. Anyone who has been in love and trying to navigate the waters of determining how the other person feels knows how tough it can be.

The key is balancing awareness and anxiety when trying to figure out women. You want to read the signs and be aware of them. However, you don’t want to get to the point where you’re parsing every word and sign (or lack of it) for meaning. That often leads to extreme neediness which is very unattractive.

It’s not always easy to achieve this balance, but the best way is to be detached. You do this by having interests and activities other than the woman. So, instead of measuring the time spent between texts or meditating on her every word, get a life. Work out. Hang with friends. Advance your career. It’ll help you feel better and make you more attractive to her anyway.

Plus, it’s helpful to have options. In other words, be attractive and date around until you’re completely comfortable you’ve found the right person. That way your entire romantic future doesn’t hinge on the reaction of one person.

About Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett is a writer, speaker, dating expert, and business owner. His articles have been viewed millions of times, and he has been featured in a variety of publications, including the Wall Street Journal.

Leave a Reply