I always used to hear the common advice, “disagree, but don’t be disagreeable.” And, while I don’t think the world needs any more bona fide jerks, we certainly do need more disagreeable people. We need people (especially guys) who are willing (and more importantly, able) to say no.
This advice is mainly geared towards agreeable nice guys who never say no and always offer the world a sunny, smiling facade (or the women who act in a similar way). It’s not focused on negative people who constantly make the lives of other people worse. We don’t need more of them. So, here’s why you should be disagreeable (or more so).
It’s Pretty Rare
Look at how much people look and think alike. There are environments (like businesses and religious and political organizations) where there is literally no disagreement whatsoever. It’s not that people don’t disagree. The cultures just don’t allow for public disagreement.
Every organization needs someone to disagree. No group grows or thrives without some type of constructive dissent. Every business, nation, and institution needs a little more disagreement. Of course, be warned, this advice could get you fired or kicked out of a group.
Look at all the Hollywood movies made about agreeable beta males who do what they’re told. Just like in real life, they are honored and lionized. Likewise, the good boys who keep their heads down in school and work and go with the flow have to get bodyguards to keep the hot, beautiful women away.
Yeah, that never happens. The guys who are put on a pedestal and actually pursued by hot women are the bad boys, the rebels. In other words, they are the type of guys who disagree with something (whether a rule, society, or, to borrow from Marlon Brando’s character in The Wild One “what do you got?”).
No one likes a chronically negative man or woman. However, vocally and firmly disagreeing with something shows that you have guts. It shows you have value. And, ultimately women want strong guys who are high value. Being disagreeable shows that you have some of that in you.
It Feels Good
Before I started transforming myself through the techniques I now share on this website, I disagreed with many people, especially at my job. But, I was afraid to share it. It made me feel helpless and miserable not to express myself.
Disagreeing with others feels good, even if we do it in a way that makes us look like a jerk. Sometimes people need to be told off because they’re behaving badly. It relieves a lot of stress, gives us a sense of power, and might even clear the air in tense situations.
However, if you’re going to be disagreeable, do it in an alpha male kind of way. Don’t get angry, just be firm and assertive. Don’t whine or explode. Just calmly and rationally state what you’re feeling. And, if people get mad, don’t get rattled or backpedal.
So, be disagreeable. Stand up for yourself. You’ll feel better and be more respected and attractive.