Beta Male Traits and Characteristics

greek beta lettersAlthough the terms are quite loaded in contemporary society, there is a lot of merit to using the language of alpha, beta, and even omega, to describe human males, since these designations exist in most other animal communities.

Although every guy is unique and people fall within a spectrum of behaviors and traits, most guys fit generally into one of the above broad categories. The alpha is the confident and charming leader, the omega the creepy social outcast, and the beta is the shy guy who is often frustrated with his lack of success with his career and with women.

No guy is going to improve in confidence and value if he doesn’t know where he already stands on the social hierarchy.

I’ve recently written an article discussing the existence of alpha and beta males among humans. If you have an issue with those terms, you can take it up there. This essay is to examine beta male traits and characteristics.

If you have a few of these, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a beta, overall. If you have a lot of them, you’re probably a beta male, and have the associated social and career frustrations. But, our website and books explain how to become an alpha male (in the general sense).

Beta Male Traits

Lack of Assertiveness

whenisaynoBeta males typically lack assertive behavior. They get taken advantage of or don’t experience the benefits that come from assertiveness and even aggression (like in a business sense). Beta Males have real trouble standing up for themselves, especially saying “no.” They may even say “yes,” when they mean “no” to please people. A great book that describes this attitude (and helps passive guys start to develop assertiveness skills) is When I Say No I Feel Guilty.

Most beta males are passive or passive-aggressive. They will often take insults or criticism lying down. They may tell a woman everything is “fine” when it is not, or let their boss crap on them at work, but when they get alone, things change. The passivity takes its toll. Emotions well up and create problems. This is the dark side of beta male passivity: passive-aggressiveness.

For example, I’ve known beta males who advertise how “nice” they are, and refuse to tackle issues directly for a variety of reasons. However, the anger is eventually released. It’s just released in more unhealthy ways like punching walls, treating family members badly (or violently), or getting secret vengeance on the target (like slashing tires or bad-mouthing someone).

In fact, a relaxed alpha leader isn’t going to abuse his family; it is often the insecure beta male who gets treated badly all day and doesn’t stand up for himself who takes his feelings out on his family in an emotionally unhealthy way, by emotional or even physical abuse. He may also get extremely jealous (see “needy” below). Sadly, “passive and quiet” doesn’t necessarily mean a beta is a nice guy.

Follower Mentality

Beta males are usually the followers of society. They’re definitely not the top dogs in the social hierarchies. It probably relates to the previous point. Positions of power aren’t typically filled by guys who don’t seek them. Beta males don’t aggressively seek power so they rarely find it.

While alpha males typically forge their own paths and create trends, beta males are those who follow in alpha footsteps. I know a guy who only uses his Facebook page to promote others: musical artists, sports teams, and politicians. They’re the alpha males; he’s the beta. If you use most of your spare time to support someone else, such as always promoting a sports team, religion, musical group, etc., then odds are good you’re a beta. The persons you’re promoting (such as the pope or OSU football players) are the alphas.

 

Beta Male Characteristics

Prototypical Nice Guy

niceguys“Nice guys finish last” is an unfortunate, but many times accurate, phrase. It’s not that nice guys are a bad thing. It’s just that, lacking the drive and aggression to “win” most nice guys end up out of the winner’s circle.

Beta males are the prototypical nice guy: passive, non-assertive, follower, etc. They might be content with this role in some ways. However, never being at the top at work, in sports, and with women, can be frustrating.

However, what many Beta Males forget is that pretty much everybody is “nice.” Being “nice” is great, but if nice is all you have going for you then, you pretty much come across as boring and lacking confidence. Neither of those traits are attractive, and neither are qualities that great leaders have.

I would argue that many “nice guys” aren’t even that nice: constant passivity can turn into anger and passive-aggression very quickly. In fact, if you reject a beta male, sometimes he will suddenly go from being a “nice guy” to a total jerk in a matter of seconds.

Not that you can blame them. It’s frustrating to passive all the time. If you have been a “nice” pushover all these years, and it (obviously) hasn’t worked out for you, I highly recommend the book No More Mister Nice Guy (available in print and Kindle) by Robert Glover. It will help you transform from being a passive, boring guy into one who is more attractive and assertive (without becoming a jerk).

Doesn’t Understand the Dating Game

Beta males are usually not the guys getting a bunch of women. One of the biggest beta male characteristics we see is complete frustration when it comes to getting into a relationship.

Beta males usually don’t understand the rules of the game. They overly compliment women, befriend them in the hopes of “more,” attempt to buy their love through gifts, etc. Then, they typically whine that women “only want jerks” or that women don’t like nice guys (meaning them of course).

What betas don’t realize is that women like assertive guys with an edge (especially younger girls). So, these boring, nice guy followers don’t usually come across as attractive. Beta males are always in “the friend zone.”

Needy

Beta males are often needy. Since beta males receive less attention from women and other men, they can often be desperate for attention. They can become very attached to the idea of having a girlfriend and especially their actual girlfriends.

So, they become super needy and attached, sometimes even to the point of becoming controlling and paranoid. Naturally, this behavior is very unattractive and often leads guys to lose the very women they desire.

This neediness can manifest itself in the form of extreme crushes and “oneitis” where a guy creepily latches onto a particular woman who might not even like him back.

Weak And Goofy

This image is from "stockimages," courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This image is from “stockimages,” courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A lot of beta males look weak and goofy. They lack masculine facial characteristics, and their body language projects weakness versus strength. Generally they have lower levels of testosterone. Higher levels of testosterone are associated with being in leadership positions, and being more relaxed and confident.

Women evolved to like guys who can provide and protect them. Every woman I know says she wants to “feel safe” with a guy. A Beta male often gives an “I need protected” vibe, versus an “I can protect you” vibe, indicated by their slouching and scared body language, to a set of goofy glasses.

A good example of a beta face is “pajama boy,” the poster child for Obamacare. Whatever your politics, that face is a “friend only” face.  Click here to see the original ad with his face. Also, the image to the right is definitely “beta face.”

One way to increase your toughness is to work out more. This will increase your testosterone, which is associated with many positive effects, including being more attractive to women. A good program (which we use) is Beachbody’s Insanity, which combines bursts of aerobic activity with using the body to gain muscle (through push-ups, etc). We also suggest The Self-Defense Company’s online program (we also use this), which will give you basic and advanced self-defense skills, which will increase your physical confidence dramatically.

So, this article should give you a good idea of the most common beta male traits and characteristics. If these traits describe you, then there is hope. Our products and blog are dedicated to helping you become a confident, attractive, and strong leader, versus an unattractive, beta follower.

About Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett is a writer, speaker, dating expert, and business owner. His articles have been viewed millions of times, and he has been featured in a variety of publications, including the Wall Street Journal.

Comments

  1. At 40 years of age, I am what this article refers to a “beta male,” and I’m proud of it. I am married to a wonderful woman and we have a beautiful 2-year-old daughter is our life. Am I “top dog” at work? Far from it. While I do hate my job, I’ve been able to hold down the same job for 8 years and it has worked out for me to an extent. I don’t really believe in the concept of loving your job. It’s why it’s called WORK, and not “play.” A job is just a means to an end. Most of us men are betas and we do serve a purpose in society.

    • Very nice comment, Al. If you are happy, then it’s what matters. I agree that the concept of liking your job is questionable. However, I think the article refers to those beta males who are extremely unhappy and frustrated in their lives in general.

    • You sound very complacent and admittedly so. Complacency is the antithesis of ambition. I just you do not have passive aggressiveness in other ways, like people who complain about how much money CEOs make. Just because complacency and no ambition works for some, does not mean that it has to work for everyone. I would consider anyone who complains about politicians or CEOs to be a beta. If one’s life is so great then live it and stop complaining.

  2. Jonathan Bennett says:

    Al,
    My view is whatever makes a person happy is great with me. However, for those who want a change, we like to offer options.

    • They don’t need to change betas are fine just the way they are.

      • Says a woman who has probably never dated a beta and is probably friends with many betas.

        • Says a woman who has been around allot of alphas and was in a relationship with one and hated every miserable minute of it. See just all of you alphas on this site posting comments, the one thing I notice is yall are the ones on here putting everybody down, talking like arrogant ASSHOLES see that’s what I’m talking about, the other guys are the ones being nice. I wouldn’t want the guy that puts soneone down and that alone shows how insecure alphas are.

      • Beta Hater says:

        Beta males are annoying. They are more likely to be a wolf in sheeps clothing, too. If you want to move forward in life, get a man who wants to move with you.

  3. There are misconceptions here.To begin with ALPHA men USUALLY HAVE TO BUY FEMALES.THE SAME IS TRUE FOR (MOST) BETA MALES.HOWEVER OCCASIONALLY THERE IS A STAR BETA MALE LIKE JUSTIN BIEBER.HE GETS ALL (THE SINCERE) GIRLS.THE ALPHA MALES ONLY GET GOLDDIGGERS.

    • Actually, by our definition of Alpha Male (perhaps different from yours or how you have heard it defined), an alpha would never have to buy female love.

      An alpha would have multiple women competing for his attention so he could tell the golddigger to dig gold from some other guy.

  4. Jennifer Ventura says:

    The article above does not accurately describe all beta males. You talk about them and being a beta as a bad thing because you must be the type of man who would pick on man for not being so tough, aggressive and just plain mean and a jerk like alphas. Betas don’t agree with the bad behavior of alphas. Most women want a beta cuz they are more sensitive, attentive, affectionate, tuned in to cultural things like art, taking care of people, pleasing others and doing whats right. Betas are more aware of feelings, emotions and a woman’s needs. Alphas hate that so they pick on and talk about being a beta as if it’s a bad thing and a man should not be that way. Their are plenty of beta males who hold great positions at work, society, and are very good at what they do. Take men who are physicians, thats a good example of being beta. Plenty of betas are married and those will be the ones who have the best relationships with their wives and girlfriends cuz of the reasons I mentioned above. Being an alpha female myself the only type I would ever date or marry would be a beta.

    • Beta Hater says:

      That;s a sensitive cultured alpha, not a beta. The things you describe take practice and initiative – not something betas have.

  5. Thank you for the article. I am married to a beta male for 35 years, I hate it. I want an alpha male. I need therapy for being with a beta male. Help!
    Women do not want beta males. They are not sensitive, they are insecure and emotionally deceptive. My husband is totally unaware of his own emotions. He excuses his passivity as morally superior to being a jerk. He lives in a world inhabited by himself, unaware the big world is operating around him. He is happy the way he is, it is just me that hates being all alone in this marriage.

    • Karen, you are exactly right. Most of the abusers I know aren’t “alphas,” they are frustrated beta males who take out their frustrations at work and life on the people close to them. Sadly, quite and passive doesn’t always equal “nice”

    • Yes we do karen I want them. You are just with someone who has issues and from what you described it sounds like he’s an alpha to me that’s why he’s being a jerk and you are miserable. Not all betas and alphas are going to be exactly the same I’m sure, there’s good and bad in both I suppose.

    • Karen,
      You’re not alone. I, too, am married to a beta type man. While neither of us are perfect, we rarely make each other happy. I can never be/do enough. And yes, pros and cons abound. While enjoying a “softer” man and some of what comes with that, I also ache for a more fulfilling relationship.

  6. Im an Alpha Male Karen come with me and i will make your life more interesting like i will beat the shit out of you when you tell me something i dont like and will give you a couple black eyes for not cooking my dinner right. ill be waiting for you

    • Hey James better yet why don’t you come with me alpha female and I’ll give you some black eyes kick you in the penis everyday make you a slave in my house and degrade you.

      • Hahahaha..
        So anyway, i’m on this page to see which i line up with. i’m pretty much right between the two. Like usual, humans trying to categorize everything into made up groups where very few people are likely to be 100% one or the other.

        • Thank you. Some of these self proclaimed Alphas want to elevate and congratulate themselves as the perfect catch. People cannot be categorized so cleanly.

  7. Hi. Nice article.

    I just want to ask. How do Alpha males walk. I know they walk with confidence but do they also give off an aggressive vibe? Do they look a bit stuck up or arrogent?

  8. My Best friend is an Alpha male…In my experience the Beta is often the close counselor to the alphas. In this regard i do not mind, just as long as he does not act against my freedoms and the women i like do date. Being a beta is a very political position, and i often feels like the “Shaman” type among my friends, a respected confidant (;

    • You’re right, my alpha friends always come to me when they screw up great situations. I’m good with who I am, less trouble.

  9. I do not agree with this. There are alphas, betas, gammas and omegas. Alphas are the top dogs, Betas either want to be on top but can’t because they’re dominated by the alpha, or know they can’t sufficiently lead the pack and submit to and back up the alpha. Most in the pack are gamma followers (“sheeple”).Most gammas think they are Alpha until a Beta like me shows them otherwise. Omegas get punked out and abused by the pack and suffer dearly. Source: Skool of Hard Knocks

    • Yes. You are 115% CORRECT in your assertion. Most people are ignorant of the Gammas (wannabes, poseurs) & the Omegas (antisocialites/rejects). Women tend to be the most ignorant of these subtypes of male partners…thusly misunderstanding them and (often incorrectly) lumping their man as a beta or an alpha within 20-30sec of 1st meet and then complain he’s a beta (whether true OR NOT) or a loser if the man cheats/gives up on her…

      SOURCE: ME;100% OMEGA until I die.

    • No the gamma is the lone wolf.

  10. Alphas don’t have to spend too much money to buy love. While they more then likely have money, they also have strong sense of self, good circle of friends, good looks, good life experiences, etc. These things provide solid non-monetary dating capital.

    Yeah there are gaps in the classifications, find your “niche” wherever you’re at and hit it.

    If you’re not getting laid, your approach and/or your expectations are off.

  11. Hiii, I am 17 year old guy . i match some qualities of beta and alpha male.I am a sensitive guy. what can i do to become an alpha and reduce the sensivity i.e. carrying about everyones bad comments

    • This is possibly the most profound statement/question on here.

      • Rob you don’t need to stop being sensitive why would you say that? Alphas are no good. You are gonna need your sensitive qualities there’s just no getting around life it requires it. With family, your kids, your wife other life situations that will come up. If you’re not your relationships will fail.

        • wow the lying is strong in this one ! 1 men who are sensitive don’t get women, ! 2 if a woman says she wants nice she is lying to make herself look unique and delicate to the other women ! if women wanted nice then google would be full of alpha men who were loanly 1! what your saying is almost pure evil ! its giving false hope to people like me who instead of trying their damdest to be alpha male will go on being nice and sensitive, this is a recepie for eternal singlness, its a recepie for misery unbearable loanliness, no family, no one to confide in nothing but a miserable loanly life that will lead to suicide ! it annoys me so much when women lie because it produces so much suffering not from the perpetrator of the lies, you still get all your abusive men, but to the good men like me that believed your BS ! youl try to insist you want nice but in reality you don’t ! your lying so much you might have even convinced yourself ! I doupt seriously you know how much pain and suffering of good men is related to your lies, but trust me those lies ruined my life, yes ruined it #1! I’m a 36 yr old virgin who has needlessely suffered such terrible tourturous agony, I was a model yet I was raised by female lies saying be nice humble and sensitive and youl have a woman, I see this as a vicious lie equivalent to a man saying to a woman men want a nice personality men are not shallow like women we see through good looks and want someone nice, preferably very overweigh and preferably one that doesn’t wash ! can you see if women believed this what a problem it would be #/ ? well that’s what your doing with your lies !!! WELL DONE, !!! thanks for stealing all those lovely women away from me with your lies !

          • Maribel Tipton says:

            man – at 36 years old you are still VERY YOUNG and can improve your life. Some man don’t marry until in there 40’s especially if by the sounds of it you are relatively good looking, that’s a leg up on a lot of people your age that happen to be born not so attractive. As long as there is life there is hope. As far as what women want well is very complicated and also we women and men settle for less than perfection, perfection is not for this world. A lot of us realize that and try to be greatful and appreciate the goodness in our significant others. I think CONFIDENCE in general is a very attractive characteristic, however it can’t be faked, confidence is an effect of a more underlying state of mind, so in my opinion dealing with your inner problems and issues, learning to embrace yourself and appreciate all YOUR GOODNESS for real, and also trying to improve yourself by paying attention and seeing where you’re lacking can lead you to a better state that will inevitably attract people to you. Seeing a therapist and dealing with self-hate and negative thoughts etc. Please look for help and don’t give up. Confidence often comes from feeling a sense of mastery, it can be over one thing or over life, like ‘ I am good”! ‘I am able to handle this’, ‘ I am fun to be around’ ‘ I am smart’, and feeling it through and through. Also being able to make money and provide for yourself and be successful is also an important part of feeling capable. So do you have a decent job? Do you have a career path? Do you take care of yourself and appearance? Do you have a spiritual relationship with the transcendent? If you can accomplish these things I believe you’ll exhibit more confidence and finding a lovely person that can further add to your happiness, your sense of well being, and your sense of meaning will automatically flow. Good luck!

    • Beta Hater says:

      Learn to love yourself. Everyone has an opinion and some of them won’t match up to yours. Don’t lose your sensitivity, that’s a good trait. Sensitivity and leadership combined are the best. Read up on compassion and being a good leader. Sometimes people’s opinions are right and sometimes they are wrong, but shame can make it feel like YOU are the bad one when really it’s just that THEY think differently.

      Try processing that shame into something productive that makes you feel worthwhile.
      Anytime someone shames you, remember – it’s just an opinion – it is from their own experiences and beliefs.

      Like, I hate betas and men because I was abused. If I post a comment bitching about a beta male it’s because of my issues. My issues – others issues – they do not have to be a part of you just realize that we are all from different walks of life.

      Sometimes figuring out why someone feels that way can help, too. Don’t let yourself get boxed in. You wanna keep the sensitivity and also work on being strong for yourself first. You need self love before you can love others.

      Read up on releasing shame/guilt and working through it – on the shame – fear dynamic also helps when you start dealing with ladies. Never stop growing, always question things. Questioning things helps from feeling like you’re being persecuted. Good luck dude.

    • You don’t have to be one of them, be both of them or better, be yourself.
      alpha and beta both have positive and negative sides, why not take what good for you and leave the bad one.

      Being nice and sensitive person isn’t a bad thing, trust me, women loves nice and sensitive guy to care for her, but at the same time you need to be able to stand up for her and lead her. Little aggresive in pursuing romance is not bad once in a while, but you’ve also need to be considerate of their feeling, know what they like and what they dont, communication is the key in relationship.

      Pursuing your career is a good thing but remember, it’s not everything. It is good to look up so that you can focus on your goal, but sometimes you also need to look down and think for a while, not everyone lucky enough to have what you already have, self-sufficient doesn’t mean you need anything you want, to appreciate what you already have and be content with it is the key to happiness.

      You’re still very young, you’ve all the time in the world.
      People can change, for better or worse, the question is which one you’ll chose?

  12. Beta – An internet term used by insecure, loser guys who have yet to know what it feels like to be inside of a vagina. Flame away…

    • All white men are beta males, even the so-called alphas among them. I’ve seen black and Latino nerd ‘betas’ school white alpha males. From their recessive genetics to the lack of soul, nothing says beta like ‘white man’.

      Urkel was a character created by a white nerd who saw his black nerd friend still continue to get tail.

    • Yessir
      Credit: me-100% omega who gives no fucks
      Alpha can’t even DREAM of topping that.

  13. The alpha/beta outlook has helped me so much in life. As a resident doctor I don’t even tell girls what I do (they might find out a month later if they’re lucky) because I don’t want to be that “nice successful guy to settle down with” ever. I rely completely on my game, being outgoing, and standing up for myself when I need to, and I make sure any girl I go out with likes me for my personality. I can’t stand all these guys that suck with women and are successful later in life and just end up some beta male provider to some done up trophy wife that left him for last while she was tired of hooking up with guys she was actually attracted to. Thanks for the article (ps you have to kiss a lot of ass in medical school and residency so i hope that alone doesn’t make you a beta :D)

  14. I don not agree with the basic surmise i.e th black and white views of the author on the subject.No particular behaviour whether alpha or beta is absolutely right or wrong either for men or women.Infact these views also appear very similar to those of the baton rouge killer Gavin Long who recently killed three cops.He also was an obsessive devotee of the Alpha male concept and wanted to wage war and actually kill those who he perceived as beta males.Clearly alpha male obsession shows a deep seated psychological and mental disorder.

    It also shows what a true ardent of alpha male philosophy is capable off.Many of the terrorists in various gross and abominable acts of violence like in Nice, France also professed strong alpha male tendencies.Infact Radical Islam is an extremely alpha male driven ideology and ofcourse that is one of the reasons why it is hated,feared and abhorred worldwide.

    Infact as per wikipedia, the definition of Alpha males reads as “Alphas may achieve their status by superior physical strength and aggression”. Therefore it can be seen that an Alpha Male in the conventional sense is physically tough and uses raw power to show his presence. This might be great in the animal kingdom where physical display of power is a sure sign of being in top of the hierarchial structure but among humans not necessarily so.
    Alpha qualities of aggression and assertiveness were perfectly fine from the hunter gatherer to feudal stage of society, however in modern society mental qualities of being intelligent, cunning and clever are more important than aggression or sexual appeal which are more prevalent in beta males.

    The human beings are the dominant species not due to brawn power(even the strongest human being is weaker than the animals) but due to brainpower. Infact in the modern world, brains matter more than brawn and beta men do tend to be cleverer than alpha men who may have muscles in the body, but whose head is empty between the ears.Scientific and technological developments come by application of mind and not necessarily by pumping iron in gyms, being very popular with people, having absolute power, showing aggression or having a lot of girlfriends.Infact many of the great scientists and mathematicians were considered wierd.That doesnt reduce their greatness. Also the internet (which we are using) was invented by a beta male and not an alpha male.

    Many of the great scientists, mathematicians, artists, writers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Tim Cook, Alan Turing etc would be classified as beta males by the authors definition, however they have made their mark in history more than an alpha male.For example, Gandhi can be said to be a beta male while Hitler, Stalin and Attila the Hun are certainly Alpha males.It is very clear to the world as to whose personality prevailed in the end and what damage and carnage was caused by the so called alpha males.

    To conclude Alpha or beta is a matter an individual perspective and cannot be generalised into a stritjacketed norm.Alpha characters are useful in a hierarchial social order especially a dictatorship but in modern democracies such postures may not work that effectively.It is ofcourse very useful in professions like competitive sports,millitary and police. Beta behaviour is useful in fields like banking, accounting, IT, research, academics etc.
    All in all one can say that each behavior has its advantages and disadvantages. Alpha behaviour has its advantages of power, money, fame, popularity, girlfriends etc and also its gross horrors as displayed by the baton rouge killer, ISIS and numerous dictatorships like that of Hitler and Stalin. Beta qualities have their advantages like intellectual prowess, knowledge, cunning, being likeable etc and their disadvantages such as mentioned by the author.

    Life is a package.There are good and bad aspects.You cant have them all.Materialism is not the be all and end all in life. How people behave with you or percieve you is not in your hands. So the alpha male tendency of being a control freak/powerful person is useless in the long run even if he/she has all the power, money, fame, glory etc.It is bullshit in the end as all people have to die one day and have their weakness exposed.There are no Supermans in this world only clark kents and peter parkers. Superman (alpha male) is a fictional character which doesnt exist in real life.Those who think otherwise i feel are deluding themselves.

  15. John Paleo says:

    I’m a beta with alpha tendencies. That’s why I piss alpha males off all the time and they give me evil looks. I’m also better looking than most alpha’s. I love getting into their heads!

  16. Beta’s are not fine the way they are. Being a beta should be shameful. I guess Alpha’s do need followers to worship them but in the end, a beautiful, single, nice woman is not going to pick a beta. Beta males end up settling for less in a woman. They pick a beta female. They usually have unhappy marriages, and they struggle with money & with getting enough s e x. Do not promote Beta’s. We have enough losers in our society. What we need is many more leader types, taking care of the rest. Beta’s have no idea how to take care of others because they’re too busy caring for themselves.

    • You are just jealous of betas, and that shit u about them is not true. Beta males are more sensitive, caring and kind, wise and compassionate and those qualities are what women want in a man and yall know that that’s why you hate them and put them down. Alpha females need betas and will only but heads with another alpha around, weaker or more easy going females need betas too cuz an alpha will dominate them and treat them like shit, no woman wants that. I hate the comment that alphas get more sex, if sex is all its about to you trust me we don’t want you, betas would get more cuz it would be about love to them not the sex.

    • In order for an alpha to be an alpha, we need many more betas. So all you self-congratulating alphas, thank your beta counterparts. Lol and the labeling….you are not an alpha because you declare it, and either way, its not THAT great. In the end, we all squat to shit, bleed red, and will die. Stop giving yourself false reasons to feel great. Treat people well and do whats right. Overthinking ans labeling and playimg parts comes off weak and insincere. Very unattractive…a guy self proclaiming beta or alpha.

  17. If you work in a “job” you are a beta, plain and simple. I laugh at anyone who considers themselves an “alpha” and says, “I am top dog at my work”. What a joke. You WORK for SOMEONE ELSE. You have to ask permission to take off time and your paycheck is always smaller than the person’s above you. You are beta, period. If you actually think that work is something you can’t love and you cower to working in a job you hate, you have given up on life and yourself. You are the definition of disgusting and I am sure your girlfriend/wife sees that. Your beta mentality is a self fulfilling prophecy of accepting a life that has been constructed and made for you because you are too full of fear to go out on your own and get it yourself. That is beta vs alpha. And when you are out there getting it, you Ar shlong toe to toe with other alphas who will eat you alive if you show your beta side. Bring your wife along with you when you negotiate too, that will really set the tone.

    • According to the internal logic of the original post – a logic I disagree with, as it is too simplistic and condescending – Ryan you sound like a gamma to me. You sound like you’re actually feeling threatened by people who have it worse than you. Whatever else, alpha does not have to shame the lower beings – maybe ignore them, or even encourage them in such a way to make them more useful to the tribe. The alpha gets to be buried in the pyramid perhaps – but it takes several levels of management and labor to build it for him. So there must be some value in beta-hood if you consider building pyramids a worthy enterprise – and remember, I reject these terms (alpha-beta) so there’s no point trying to argue with me – however the article seems to hold everyone to the alpha standard. Society doesn’t work that way. There’s a lot of human value that gets thrown out or erroneously conflated with failure/misery/ineffectuality in the OP’s rationale.

    • According to your logic, the only true alpha would be the current president of the US. Ultimately we are all under him at any given time of the day. Lol!

  18. How do you change? I can’t keep living the way I am.

  19. I have a couple of points to make. First of all I would argue that alpha and beta simplifies things waaaay too much. A lot of guys have a little bit of both depending on the situation, the people around him or perhaps just his general mood that day.

    I also notice that the word RESPONSIBILITY is usually not present in the alpha male discussion at all. In the animal kingdom, where the term derives from, the alpha male has the responsibility to lead the pack/group/herd whatever and protect it from dangers. And sure he gets to mate with all the females and do what he wants but he is also constantly threatened by challengers that wants to take over his position. This often ends with his own brutal death.

    It becomes very weird to translate this to some douchy dude with zero responsibilities and who is not really threatened by anyone but who knows how to act in a certain way to seem “alpha”. But most of these self-proclaimed alphas in the human society are not interested in leading any flock really, not helping anyone except themselves, not risking their health for the flock. The only thing they want is to have sex with beautiful women. So the comparison is very halting to say the least if you ask me.

    • right on.

    • Exactly. The alphamale thing is just to me self congratulation for certain men exhibiting certain behaviors not all good. But the responsibility for survival of the entire pack….including the old, sick, slow, beta, strong, young, female, weighed heavily and solely on the alpha male in a pack of wolves. Period. In human society men like to don the idea of being alpha with little to none of the responsibility. The life of a true alpha…is not pretty or fun.

  20. Nugget Face says:

    This is full of shit. Be yourself, confidently. Once you get nervous, you make mistakes. Also, others thoughts are none of your business, so just be you. No beta, no alpha. Do you. You are smart enough to know when you don’t like something, and dumb enough to make mistakes just like everyone else. LITERALLY. We are all on this same planet with our little primate selves, and we’re only here once. Forget about this stupid article. And. Do. You. Every thing you do is what carves your path until the day you die. Don’t worry about anyone elses. Do you.
    Forever.

  21. it is sad that people associate strength with leadership. most strong confident people are just idiots who go to the gym. probably funded by their dad, who is probably a hard working “beta”. but it is true though: being strong and beautiful wins people’s hearts and confidence. but you can’t achieve this overnight, if at all. it’s something you’re born with.

  22. I don’t know about this alpha-beta stuff but I think that most men will assume roles according to their particular situation at any point in time. When I was a kid I grew up as an ethnic minority in an inner city household with a short-tempered, domineering father who drank heavily, so I guess that was Omega or whatever it is you call it. When I was raising a family and in a leadership role at work I had to assume alpha in order to get things done and assert my authority, Later in life I worked with a government boss from hell and assumed the beta role voluntarily in order not to butt heads, keep my blood pressure under control and conserve my job. Now that I’m early retired, have resumed taking care of myself at the gym and have spent enough time recapping my life experience, I have discovered that their is a time to be passive, a time to be tender, a time to be assertive and a time to give any jerk who flexes on me and won’t back off a concussive blunt-force trauma with a chair over the side of his head in a heartbeat. I don’t know if you would call that alpha-beta-gamma or whatever, but it is what it is.

  23. Some people have traits of both. So it kinda silly actually…….

  24. Mohan Kumar says:

    It is important to be human , if that is there in Beta , I am beta man . at the end of the day that is what in you stays and in the present world , more importantly, the shortage of such Beta men are increasingly felt. If betas are more I am sure world will be a better palce to live with less of terrorism and violence.

  25. Your article is stupid. It just makes a bunch of generalizations and assumptions convenient to create a fictitious hierarchy, a black-white two-tiered scale that basically goes: Alpha – perfect individual; Beta – complete piece of shit. Literally every guy would fall somewhere between.

  26. Used to be beta-ish. Then I got help with my anxiety and now I’m where I wanna be. Don’t let the past weigh you down.

  27. Society expects men to go alone with the program or become transgender. Men who do not comply are mentally tortured. It actually takes a real man to be a beta and go against society.

  28. I’m an outcast,more of an Omega man.
    i noticed there’s another game in the SUBCONSCIOUS RbhowEALM that hardly every article never talks about being Alpha and/or Beta.
    When I was young and super clueless.I felt in the Beta group with girls-being insecured,nice,polite,timid and more CLUELESS THAN ANYTHING.I will play football and go rough behavior with other men,but when it came with women I just clueless gave in to their game…
    it threw me off many times because i was going with the popular belief that women want what they saydoesn’t dateer follow through.

    So i got the area covered of not paying dinners,not super complimenting women,not being so available,not calling or texting alot,telling her no,etc.
    which this is the CONSCIOUS AREA.
    But where many times i fell or lost a girl/women was in the subconscious realm and im gonna give you an example:

    -Bringing the “free” office coffee to the women I was attracted at her desk.I didn’t pay a dime for it,but bringing it to her every mid-day before my lunch break set me up to be seen as “weak and nice” and seeking her approval.I didn’t realize it until months later when I was trying to ask out and date a recent single co-worker at my job.Months after her break-up word got around that she was interested in getting back to dating, looking for a BF and/or possibility of a serious relationship.I step up to the plate,I even confess my intent and interest in her,even when I began to socalize with her to “get to know”.I was firm and direct.But she completely rejected me,she even stated she doesn’t like the idea of dating co-workers.

    -I open up with her one day she was very emotional and in our conversations I became vulnerable,I listened to her,i told her i like to talk because any relationship could have a strong foundation with communication.She got to know my deep feelings and fears.I guess i was too of an open book that it fired back.
    -I did went for a kiss one evening in our conversation and she pushed me back.I told her how much I like her and if any doubts she has about me liking her,well this is where i wanted to confess my sentiment.She rejected my advances and to NEVER do that again or she will file for a sexual harassment complaint against me.

    So I began to pull back.I felt like all my attempts have failed.I made my moves and expressed my interest (Nice Guys can’t do that,RIGHT? ) and they were rejected.So i had to swallow the hard pill.

    She said she don’t date co-workers and was looking for a “loving man”,right???.

    Well weeks passed and she got caught up in some drama scandal at work with another co-worker that is or was in a serious relationship that was already a engaged soon to be married his Fiancee came to our location and created all this drama for her.
    Also,there was suspicion that they were having sex somewhere at our job location…

    Well,I know I messed up.I wasn’t too Nice,but for sure i was available.I went for it,let her know my interest.I didn’t consciously let her walk all over me,but I subconsciously send her Weak messages without realizing until months later as I meditated where I messed up.Just being agood man that wanted to develop a loving relationship with a strong caring,communication bond and have a real meaning of Love.Perhaps she took me for granted.

    Now she wasn’t fired but was transfer to another location.I do misse her alot but i don’t look for her because I don’t want to continue looking/sounding weak….; (

  29. Mary Quite Contrary says:

    The article was very informative. But the comments are eye opening for sure!

    I didn’t read all of them but there was a plethora of examples shown to prove this article to be very accurate.

    Out of the comments I read there was not one who is a ‘true’ alpha male. Alpha males have confidence, not arrogance. They have no need to put anyone down. Or become abusive with them as they have a good understanding of the nature of human behavior and commonly overlook ‘flaws’ in others in favor of retaining their alpha male status (which is .. almost … perfection. Might be a bit of extreme statement but I’m sure it makes my meaning clear) Let’s face it…everyone has a function in our world and everyone can’t be ‘top dog’.

    Well done!!

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