Go to a club on any Saturday night and look around. You’ll see tall, handsome, and sharply dressed guys standing around the place. Theoretically, they should easily be able to attract a woman in that environment, but many of them go home alone. The reasons are many, but one major one is their body language.
Many guys focus on their hair, clothes, and the words that come out of their mouth. However, they ignore their body language, and by ignoring it, they put themselves at an extreme disadvantage in dating.
In our coaching business, body language (reading it and changing theirs) is one of the most important things we teach our clients. Here are three reasons why your body language is important.
We Communicate More Through Body Language Than Words
Researcher Albert Mehrabian, when people were expressing likes and dislikes, found that roughly 93% of communication is non-verbal, based on your body language and tone. Based on this, in many circumstances, body language accounts for 55% of communication, while tone is 38%, and words amount to a paltry 7%.
This figure is just a rough estimate based on a few specific studies, but nonetheless, it provides a valuable lesson. How you carry yourself is more important than the words that come out of your mouth. People believe your body over your words.
It Mostly Happens Subconsciously
You may be wondering how only 7% of communication occurs through words, when most of our focus is on them. The reason is simple: reading body language happens outside of conscious awareness. For example, if you get a “creepy vibe” from someone, that’s probably subconscious body language reading. If you find someone attractive, it’s likely the way he or she carries herself plays a huge role.
This is also why guys who change their body language in a positive way (for example, by improving their posture) often receive comments like “something is different about you…but I can’t place it,” and women start giving them more attention.
Most of our clients see immediate improvement when they change their body language. If 93% of communication is through our bodies and tonality, then improving those, even slightly, will produce amazing results.
Because it is subconscious, most people aren’t aware how they are coming across to others. However…
You Can “Hack” People’s Subconscious Perception of You By Changing Your Body Language
Socrates famously quipped “The unexamined life is not worth living,” while on trial in Athens. Most people have no idea how they come across to others. They may slouch, walk with their heads down, show insecurity and hesitation in their bodies even though they may use powerful words, etc.
Right now become aware of your body language. Are you relaxed? Open? Confident? Or are you uptight? Closed? Insecure?
The great news is that it’s possible to change your body language so that you basically “hack” how others view you. It could be as simple as holding your head up slightly (signalling confidence) instead of looking down when you talk to others. People will start respecting you more, and women will start finding you more attractive, and they may not even know why.