February 14th is the most romantic, amazing, perfect, love-filled day of the year when happy couples celebrate everything beautiful about life and relationships. Right? Well, that’s what popular culture and the forces of advertising would have you believe.
And, if you’re single, the implied message is slightly different. You obviously are a lonely, miserable human being who will never know the true joy life has to offer. So, why not spend February 14th drowning yourself in a sea of products like chocolate, alcohol, and romantic comedies to make yourself feel better?
All of the above is, of course, total bullshit. February 14th is a “holiday” created by companies to push the idea that people need to spend more money in the name of romance. Even the Catholic Church, the inventor of St. Valentine’s Day, doesn’t include it as a holiday anymore.
I’m not a Valentine’s Day hater, but let’s face it: it’s mainly a fake holiday designed to squeeze money from people. But, being lonely on Valentine’s Day is still no fun. Because of all the expressions of love around you, February 14th can make even the strongest of single people feel a little down.
If you’re lonely on Valentine’s Day, these tips for will help you feel happier. Also, for those who are happy being single, carry on, as usual!
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Being lonely is a real feeling. And, it sucks. Being lonely on Valentine’s Day sucks even more because you’re typically, thanks to social media, inundated with romantic stuff from all your friends who are in love. So, while I’ve given a lot of advice to get over your loneliness and get your act together, there’s nothing wrong with recognizing you don’t feel great.
Too many people think the best way forward is to simply remain positive and be tough. Optimism and resiliency are important traits to develop. But, don’t lie to yourself either. If you feel like crap on February 14th, then admit it.
However, simply wallowing in self pity isn’t a great option either. So, recognize how you feel, realize it’s OK to feel it, then you can make serious efforts to deal with your feelings of loneliness.
Focus on Self-Improvement
If you’re not single by choice, then maybe you’re not bringing a lot to the table to make a girl or guy want to be with you. Or perhaps, you’re not putting yourself in the right places or positions to be successful in dating.
It might seem crazily simple, but, the best way to attract someone is to…wait for it…become more attractive. So, rather than spending Valentine’s Day getting drunk and shoving chocolate into your mouth to mask the loneliness, a better option is to focus on making yourself better for the present and the future.
The first step is to look at yourself and see areas where you need to improve. Maybe you need to lose a few extra pounds. Perhaps you haven’t left the house since Christmas except for work. Maybe your dating profile needs seriously revamped. Perhaps you need to change jobs so that you can be happier overall. This is a very simple, but concise self-improvement worksheet to help you get started.
Once you’ve figured out areas of improvement, start doing them! Go to the gym, buy some clothes that make you look more confident, enroll in a class, find singles events on Meetup, and so on. Whatever you pick, do something that makes you a better, stronger person and creates within you a feeling of hope.
You don’t need another person to be happy. If you think you do, then that is a big part of your feelings of loneliness on Valentine’s Day. I’m not denying we need companionship. But, if you need it so much that you’re turning sad and desperate, it’s time to turn some focus back on yourself.
When I say treat yourself, I’m not talking about going on a wine and chocolate binge. Rather, I mean to do something empowering that you enjoy that doesn’t require a romantic partner. It can be a one time thing (e.g. going to the art museum) or something that is in the future (e.g. signing up to run a 5k). A few good examples are traveling, seeing loved ones, and going to a concert.
The point is that you’re not wallowing in self pity, but having fun and empowering yourself for the future.
Spend Time With Friends
You know the best cure for feeling lonely on Valentine’s Day? Be around people so you aren’t as lonely. I’m sure you have friends who also don’t have significant others. Find them and hang out with them on February 14th. I have no doubt that your other single friends are going through exactly the same thing.
There’s no sense in suffering separately when you can get together and solve the problem. This is especially true since friendship confers countless health benefits, yet many people refuse to reach out to current friends or find new ones.
If all your friends are in relationships, then go out and try to meet new people. Go to a place where people would be open to new interactions (bars, meetups, etc.) and talk to them. If they are by themselves, chances are they’re also single.
You can both bond over your mutual dislike of Valentine’s Day. But, you don’t even have to do that. Just have fun and be your best self. You’d be amazed at how others are open to meeting new people. They’re just waiting for someone to reach out to them.
If you don’t have any friends and don’t even have the resources to find them, then your problems go far beyond simply Valentine’s Day. It just happens that this one day of the year is exposing all the issues you have the other 364. Our website has many resources to help you overcome your lack of friends and dates.
So, if you’re lonely, sad, depressed, or any other feelings on this made up holiday called Valentine’s Day, these tips should help you be at least a little happier. Be strong and, above all, focus on yourself. Make yourself a better, stronger, more attractive person.