In high school, I sat across from a girl in science class who was quiet, reserved, and shy. I would try to talk to her and even got her to engage in some conversation. I had a crush on her and wanted nothing more than to date her. In the end, we dated for a couple of months.
If you’ve tried to date a shy girl, you know that it can be difficult. Outgoing women will generally give you direct signs, sometimes even telling you they like you! You typically will hear how she felt about the date, what she likes about your looks and personality, and how the relationship is developing. Shy girls will either withhold most of that information or share it slowly. You’re left to guess.
Introverted girls just aren’t as easy to decode. You’ll have to look for signs a shy girl likes you rather than being told outright. While that adds an extra layer of difficulty to dating, it doesn’t mean you can’t find love with shy women.
Since the shy girl won’t tell you what she’s thinking with her words, you’ll have to figure out what she’s thinking by observing her, looking at her body language and actions. In other words, you’ll follow the signs! Here they are.
Open Body Language
Generally speaking, if she has open body language towards you, then she’s open to spending time with you and at least likes you on some level.
Look at what people do when they aren’t comfortable with you. They cross their arms and legs, hunch their body closer, and pull away from you. If you see these behaviors she probably isn’t feeling attraction to you.
The opposite–open body language–means she likes you. It tells you that she is able to relax. She might be too introverted to tell you she’s relaxed, but she clearly is.
Another form of “open” body language is smiling. If if she’s laughing, smiling, and having a good time with you, even if she’s not saying much, she clearly enjoys being around you. If she consistently does this, it’s a great sign!
If the shy girl you like stares at you, whether from a distance or in the form of eye contact, it’s a good indicator she likes you. She is checking you out! If you’re not sure, walk away and have a friend tell you if she looks at you.
Shows You Attention
When I was tying to date that shy girl during high school, she almost always agreed to hang out when I suggested it. And, when I’d ask her to eat lunch with me, she always said “yes.” In other words, even though I had to take the lead, she clearly enjoyed my company and followed my lead.
Even if the shy girl you like seems a little bored or standoffish, if she is always willing to hang out with you, text you, and show you attention, don’t worry about her lack of verbal feedback. If she’s giving you her time and attention, it means she clearly values being with you.
Have you ever watched two people who clearly are passionately and madly in love? They can’t keep their hands off of each other!
Now, if the shy girl in your life was doing that, you wouldn’t be reading this article. But, if she’s touching you and you’re touching her, even a little bit, then it’s a good sign that she likes you.
Keep in mind that touching usually starts small. So, she might just touch your shoulder or arm for a few seconds. Maybe she’ll try to cuddle with you a little bit.
Since she’s shy, you’ll have to take the lead in the touching department. What can you get away with? Do you put your arm around her? Can you hold her hand? Does she let you give her a massage? If she doesn’t stop you from touching her and even enjoys it, it’s evidence she likes you, even if she won’t tell you.
If, however, she stops you from touching her, then she either doesn’t like you or isn’t comfortable enough with you yet. You can try later to see if she feels differently. However, as with all women, if she says not to touch her, make sure you listen and back off.
Obviously, the more romantic touch she allows, the greater the sign that she really likes you. If a woman is sober and lets you kiss her and do more, then she definitely likes you even if she has difficulty talking about it.
Jonathan explains a few facts about shy girls (with help from doll props (not that kind!))
One key to seeing if a shy girl likes you is to look at the type of attention she gives you. Is it intellectual or friendly conversation, the kind that she gives to her friends? Or, is it flirty and romantic, the kind she would only give to a boyfriend?
If she laughs a lot at your jokes, touches you repeatedly, gets playful and even sexual with you (when she does decide to speak!), then she clearly thinks you’re attractive and you’re more than just a friend.
However, if you only discuss work, school, and the weather while she sits across from you at lunch, then you’re probably just on the level of a friend…for now. You’ll have to work a little harder to see if she likes you romantically.
Taking The Lead With Shy Women
I’ve already written more about how to date shy girls that lays out a lot of my favorite advice. However, always keep in mind that as the guy you always have to do the majority of the work in relationships, especially at the beginning. But, with shyer girls, you have to do even more of the work.
So, keep in mind these signs might be revealed slowly and you might have to be patient and a little persistent to be sure she likes you (or doesn’t). That happens with girls who give less verbal feedback.
Now you should be familiar with the major signs a shy girl likes you. Don’t let their advanced degree of difficulty keep you from pursuing introverted girls. They can be worth the effort! You just have to try.