Every guy has experience doing something really stupid, either around a girl he likes or actually doing the stupid thing to her. You might be in this scenario and now have no idea how to go about making the apology. Not only can apologies be difficult to people you know, but if you have feelings for the girl, it becomes an even bigger challenge!
Fortunately, it can be done. And, knowing how to apologize to a girl you like is an important skill set to learn. This article will walk you through the entire process.
Only Apologize If Guilty
I had a friend in university whom I liked a lot and wanted to date. She would occasionally act like a jerk towards me, like getting snippy and rude. One time, she asked me to help her move something into her dorm room. I couldn’t because I had a class and she got ticked that she had to wait.
She was the one behaving poorly and irrationally by expecting me to skip class to help her move. Guess who apologized? Yes, it was me! I apologized for upsetting her even though I did nothing wrong. I look back and shake my head at how weak I was.
If you treated her like crap, yelled at her, acted stupidly, or did anything else objectively annoying or bad, then definitely own up and apologize. But, never say you’re sorry just to suck up or take the blame for her bad behavior.
In fact, since your feelings for her can make you blind, ask a friend if what you did was really something worth apologizing for. Or, ask yourself: would I apologize if I did this to my guy friend? If the answer is “no,” don’t apologize to her either.
A lot of guys think apologizing will win them points with a girl they like. But, in reality, if you apologize for something you didn’t do, you come across as weak, needy, and insecure, all unattractive traits. If you didn’t do anything wrong, don’t apologize. It’s pretty simple.
When a friend of mine was in high school, he accidentally ran into a girl he had a crush on, causing her to drop a couple of books. She seemed a little annoyed, but picked the books up, then kept on walking.
He, however, was horrified and felt that he had committed the giant sin of offending the girl he liked. So, he wrote her a one page letter expressing how sorry he was for the “horrible” incident. She barely remembered the encounter (or him) and thought the letter was creepy. She did, however, share it with her friends for laughs.
My friend in high school definitely should have apologized as a matter of common courtesy. But, because it was an accident and there was no real harm done, he could’ve just said, “Sorry about that” on the spot and moved on. Instead, he turned it into a big affair that made him look dumb.
When guys like a girl and get horny, science tells us they can behave in dumb ways. One way that occurs is by getting way too needy and attached. If you’re asking how to apologize to a girl you like, then you need to make sure you’re giving an apology that is proportional to what you did wrong. Don’t let your strong feelings make you overdo it like my friend. You’ll only look dumb like him.
So, if you did something small, then give a simple apology. If you did something ridiculously stupid and huge, then give her a bigger apology that might involve a gift or a little bit of extra explanation. But, above all, keep it proportional.
Apologize Like A Man
If you’ve messed up with a girl you like, it’s important to say you’re sorry in a way that makes you appear attractive and masculine. After all, you either want to date this woman or continue in some sort of relationship with her. If you come across as weak, needy, and insecure, your chances of dating her go out the window. So, here are tips to apologize in away that makes you look attractive.
If you truly messed up, then you can certainly explain a little bit about your reasoning. However, don’t turn your apology into a bunch of excuses. No woman wants to hear the lame reasons you acted like a fool.
Instead, admit you made a mistake and own it. Don’t give her every reason why you failed like your depression or your childhood trauma or anything else. Even if you have legitimate excuses (like the previous examples), the best thing is to just own up to your mistake.
If you’ve done something wrong and it requires making amends, then take that extra step. For example, if you ruined something that belonged to the woman you like, then pay to get it fixed. If you told your friends something bad about her, then let your friends know you messed up and were wrong. Making amends just means undoing your action as best as possible.
Even if you can’t do something to rectify the situation, at the very least, promise her it won’t happen again. And, make sure it doesn’t happen again.
This doesn’t mean sucking up. If you’re in a relationship with her, then a small gift like flowers or chocolates would be a nice gesture if you did something pretty annoying. If you’re not in a relationship with her, don’t give her anything major. It’ll just look like an attempt to buy her affection.
But, whatever her decision, once you’ve made your apology, resist the urge to grovel, whine, or apologize over and over again. Sucking up isn’t attractive and it won’t get you anywhere regardless.
By dropping it, you’re doing three things. First, you’re giving her space and time to process your apology. She might need this and dropping the topic allows her to get over the ways you hurt her and begin liking you again.
Second, by dropping it, you’re not coming across as needy. So, even if she doesn’t forgive you, you can still move forward knowing you did the right thing. You can start fresh with someone new, not making the same mistakes as before.
Finally, dropping it is good for your mental health. Don’t continue to focus on where you messed up. As long as you’ve owned up to it and tried to make it better, you can’t continue to beat yourself up.
So, this guide should help you apologize to girls you like. We all mess up at times. If you truly blow it, these tips will help you redeem yourself.