They’re the stuff of movies, TV shows, comedy routines and books. Some people love them and others loathe them. Men scour the internet to find the best ones even though women consistently say they hate them. People make fun of the bad ones while continuing to use the allegedly good ones. Of course, I’m talking about pick up lines.
However, the main question is this (or at least should be): do pick up lines work? As with many things in life, the answer is basically a mix of yes and no. First, let’s look at the “no” side of the equation.
Attracting a woman is a process. Granted, it’s typically a short one since attraction is very visceral and somewhat instant. But it’s still a process that lasts longer than a three second pick up line, contrary to what guys who stake their success on a “line” think.
So, obsessing over the choice and delivery of a pick up line or spending hours coming up with great ones is pointless if a guy neglects other aspects of attraction and dating. Can a boring, unattractive guy with a great opener, but nothing else, count on a pick up line to save his butt and get a phone number. No way.
Also, pickup lines are typically canned and boring. They often come from the internet or a book. They’re used over and over and the hottest women have heard them all. And, they’re often delivered awkwardly. This probably contributes to the hatred women have of pick up lines. After all, awkwardly delivered stolen lines by unattractive guys don’t exactly get women turned on.
Also, when asking whether pick up lines work, it’s important to mention that they are often used in settings like clubs or bars where women are already highly guarded. They know the pick up lines are coming and they have their defenses ready. So, those lines either have to be spectacular and delivered perfectly or they fail. Even if they are amazing and delivered with a comedian’s touch, they still might fail. That’s just life.
However, pick up lines can work. But, there are a few things to keep in mind when delivering them.
First, be attractive. I know it sounds kind of stupid to say, but hear me out. It’s due to the “halo effect.” Studies show that men and women have more respect and admiration for attractive people and judge them less harshly. If you are a well-dressed, fit guy delivering a line, that line will be instantly perceived as funnier, wittier, and more effective. So, if you’re going to use a pick up line, at the very least try to deliver it looking, feeling, and acting your best.
Second, it’s best to come up with your own lines and make them original and observational. So, think of something based on the environment, the person you’re talking to, etc. You have originality and rapport building instantly in your favor. Both are high value traits.
Third, make your pickup lines funny and somewhat edgy. Avoid corny jokes and don’t be afraid to tease the girl. As long as you’re flirty and smiling, teasing is not only acceptable, but women love it. When it comes to edginess, though, don’t be mean. Just push the envelope a little.
Finally, stop thinking in terms of “pick up lines” and instead think in terms of “openers.” Your goal then moves beyond one liners designed to get a phone number and instead becomes about opening conversations by getting people to laugh, have fun, and flirt. They should be a part of a broad strategy designed to actually get to know someone and build rapport, even if a phone number is the final goal.
A good example of an observational, teasing opener would be going up to a woman in a bright dress and saying something like, “Hey nice dress…I think. If I look at it any longer, I’ll have to see the eye doctor.” Another example would be if a girl is reading quietly at a coffee shop, say “Could you keep it down please, I’m trying to concentrate.” Say these while smiling, of course. You want them to come across as flirty and not literal.
So, do pick up lines work? The answer is mixed, but if you follow the advice here and throughout this website, you’ll have a better chance of not only succeeding in your opener, but also going home with a number or more.