We’ve discussed the whole assertiveness thing in the past, but it bears repeating for guys: don’t be a doormat. A guy who is passive and agreeable will never find success in life, whether it’s at a job, with friends, or with ladies. Here’s why.
In the job, doormats aren’t respected, they’re just used. The doormat gets handed tasks that no one else wants. He may think he’s valued, but he is only being shown attention because he’s pliable. An employee wants off early to spend time golfing? He’s going to ask the doormat to pick up his hours.
If you’re a doormat in your job, don’t think the attention you get is necessarily positive. People will likely try to stay on your good side, but it’s not because they think you’re awesome. It’s because they want you to keep doing things for them.
With friends, a doormat experiences similar things. He may be genuinely liked by the group, but the expectation is that he pays, while also missing out. The doormat might go out on a triple date with his buddies and their girls. He’s solo (after all, the car only seats five), but he drives them. Oh, and pays for the popcorn.
While the friendship might have some genuine qualities, the doormat typically gets the worst part of the friendship (like paying for stuff) while not getting the best parts (being helped with getting a date).
Women dislike doormats for a variety of reasons. The biggest is evolution since women evolved to be attracted to providers and protectors. Don’t believe me? Let’s just say if Donald Trump worked as an IT guy he wouldn’t have a beautiful women on his arm.
A doormat doesn’t come across as a provider and protector. He actually comes across as the exact opposite. It’s why women find guys who constantly agree with them and get walked all over by others very unattractive.
So, don’t be a doormat. Stand up to people in an assertive way. You may think you’re hurting feelings, but you’re likely not. And, even if you are, if you’re respectful, you’re not responsible for someone else’s feelings anyway. Man up. Be assertive. Be attractive.