Don’t Be Yourself

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Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/

The standard advice from age 1 to 100 is “be yourself.” Everyone hears it from a variety of sources: parents, teachers, counselors, and various self-help gurus and books. I’m here today to tell you that unless your life is amazing in every way, absolutely don’t be yourself.

Most people don’t like themselves very much. And, they’re stuck in patterns and routines that keep them from being truly successful. Let’s a take a look at a 20-something guy who hates his job, gets a date or so a year, and lives at home. He has low self-esteem and is unhappy and frustrated. If I tell him to “be yourself,” it’s really a bit of an insult. Being himself hasn’t made him very happy.

Our advice is always “be your best self.” This means you keep your core values and personality, but you find a way to always pursue self improvement and change. Don’t like your job? Work hard to get a new one. Perpetually single? Become the type of person women admire and want to date. Hate the way you look? Lose weight and get a makeover.

Lots of men and women think that they are special just because everyone has told them that “everyone is special.” Or maybe their mom constantly tells them how great they are. While everyone has personal dignity and rights, simply existing on planet earth doesn’t guarantee you a good job, a hot partner, or the chance to be attractive and loved. Oh, and your mom kind of has to love you.

In order to be successful, popular, and attractive you have to bring value to the table. That means you have to be worth knowing, dating, following, etc. You won’t give your money, time, and talents to just anyone. Why would anyone else do the same for you?

So, go out and make the personal change necessary to bring out the best in your personality. Be excellent, confident, powerful, and successful. Be a good person too. Don’t “be yourself” when that has brought you years of misery. Be your best self and be happy and successful.

About Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett is a writer, speaker, dating expert, and business owner. His articles have been viewed millions of times, and he has been featured in a variety of publications, including the Wall Street Journal.

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