However, lots of people define “success” differently. While a job is necessary and an education is helpful, they truly want and need friends, close relationships, and a loving, romantic partnership. Yet, this type of success is out of their reach. If they aren’t a “natural” socially or were taught by socially aware parents, they typically get frustrated.
Schools don’t teach the necessary social skills to actually find real world success, especially in relationships. Of course, that’s probably not a bad thing since most of the teachers have no clue how to behave socially either.
But, now you can make up for lost time. Here are the five things you (probably) didn’t learn in school, but still need to know.
The Sexes Are Different
In school, you learn that guys and girls are completely equal, which is true under the law. But, what you don’t hear in school is that males and females are different in many ways, especially with regards to social interaction. They are attracted to different traits and have different needs. For example, men are more visually stimulated while women are turned on in more complex ways. It’s why internet porn is a male phenomenon while erotica is consumed by women.
Here’s another example: women respond well to emotionally relevant language while men are more logical. So, when a guy lays it out step by step during an argument and a woman appeals to a feeling, neither side understands why they can’t come to agreement. Wouldn’t that have been useful in psychology class?
Bullying Doesn’t End At Graduation
School anti-bullying efforts typically focus on one aspect: protecting the victim and punishing the bully. While that’s important and necessary at times, the typical approach rarely works on empowering the victim and giving him the skills to stand up to bullying. But, that’s not a good thing because bullies don’t graduate into good behavior.
Bullies exist in workplaces, social clubs, in public places, and everywhere human beings dwell. The way to combat bullying is to help victims develop the skills to resist it. That way the victims can live confidently in the real world and confront adult bullies.
Confidence Is King
Confident males are often the bad guys in the high school scene. Schools do everything they can to take down the school’s alpha males. Why? They are typically a threat to the official leadership because they are vying to unofficially lead the school.
But, these guys are popular because confidence, even cockiness, rules when guys are evaluated as leaders (or not). That’s why even the popular male teachers and administrators are usually outgoing, confident guys who are assured of themselves.
So, while the schools may try to teach you that future success comes from studying hard and not getting in trouble, the reality is that…
Popularity In High School Is A Future Success Indicator
That’s right. Popularity in high school correlated with greater material success later in life. But, why aren’t schools teaching popularity skills instead? Obviously, it would take a radical change to get schools to offer Popularity 101. But, some general social success tips would at least be nice.
Fortunately, popularity typically comes down to having lots of friends and being liked by others. Humor, confidence, and being good at something go a long way towards meeting the criteria. It’s too bad more teachers aren’t modeling these behaviors or outright teaching them.
Owning A Business Is Awesome
In my twelve years of education, I never once heard about starting my own business. And, in six years of college study, undergrad and graduate, I never heard a word about it either. I heard a ton about college (or more of it), doing government service, and getting a job working for someone else. But, no one told me about being an entrepreneur. Not once.
While starting your own business has risks, job stability and incomes from working for someone else are at all time low. And, college costs are outrageous, meaning that’s a risk too!
I wish schools would mentor young people from an early age to start businesses. Want to start a business? It’s not too late. Working for yourself is amazing. The basic principle is find a need and fill it based on your talents. Start part time then move full time when you can.
Honestly, what you learned in this article may be more valuable than entire classes, maybe even years in school (or entire degrees), especially if you apply it. It’s not too late, even if you haven’t set foot in a school since Back to the Future was appearing on movie screens.