I dropped out of college, don’t show up to my current job on time, and in my spare time, I watch TV, drink too much beer, and play video games for hours on end. I haven’t bothered to read a book in ten years and have little ambition. I wouldn’t know the first thing about starting a business, investing, or selling something. However, I deserve to be rich.
Also, I’m fifty pounds overweight, haven’t so much as picked up a baseball in ten years, and the last time I played was right before I quit after a few weeks of pre-season practice in 5th grade. I did, however, download a baseball video game and I plan on playing it soon. My friends tried to get me to go out and take a few swings and practice throwing last spring, but I was binge-watching my favorite show. However, I saw a sign up for a local league, and I expect to play, start, and get the admiration of everyone watching.
Are you laughing yet? You should be since the fictional accounts above are examples of absurd entitlement.
But, let’s try another scenario:
I have no confidence, no charm, and am very shy. I’m 50 pounds overweight and don’t smell the best at times. My clothes (from 6 years ago) don’t fit. I get needy and passive-aggressive when I don’t get my way, and regularly complain on social media about how women don’t like “nice guys” like me. I’m a poor conversationalist if I do happen to meet someone. I don’t have time to change any of this, even though I spend most of my leisure time staring at a screen. But, I deserve a pretty girlfriend.
Are you still laughing? You should be. Because the previous scenario is another example of absurd entitlement. But, it’s all too common among many guys who think they deserve a relationship.
Guys, you do not “deserve” a woman, let alone a hot woman.
The problem is that in the United States, we have been told that just by “being ourselves” we deserve every possible good thing. Just by existing, everyone deserves a good job, plenty of dates, and praise and admiration from everyone.
Unfortunately, this isn’t true. Real life can be tough. I wish it weren’t so, but it is. Sadly, studies show some guys really are “forever alone,” because a relatively small number of guys are monopolizing the women in a given area.
Yes, that is right. A small number of guys get a lot of women. A large number of guys barely get a woman or maybe don’t get one at all.
You may have even realized this already. Your charming buddy has five women seeking his attention, while you have none. The manager at work is texting four women at once, while you barely get anything, and if you do, it is just “as a friend.” And, a handful of local guys are likely getting most of the Tinder matches, as this analysis shows.
It’s not that even difficult to become the type of guy that gets women. It’s just a lot of guys aren’t willing to put in the effort to change.
It may involve working out more (since muscularity is a strong indicator of getting dates, relationships, and sex). Or, increasing your status and power. There are many books and websites (including this one) that can help.
Getting a hot woman is all about knowing how to become attractive and then the skills to attract them. The problem is that while many guys know what leads to success in other areas, they think dating women is somehow a big mystery.
So, they get that if they want to be wealthy, they have to work hard, have a good idea, and invest time and money. They also understand that if they want to succeed at a sport it takes hard work, practice, and skill development. Believe it or not, the same applies to dating.
So, you don’t deserve a woman, but with a few small changes (and some work), you can get a woman, like the many guys you observe who are successful in that area.
I should add, as an update to the original article based on some comments below, that all of this applies to women too. Ladies, you don’t deserve a great guy if you aren’t great yourself.