You might know the scenario. You go on a few dates with a girl (or guy). It doesn’t work out, so you move on and all contact ceases. However, several weeks or months down the line you notice this person views your Snapchat story. Then, a few weeks later, she hearts one of your old Instagram posts. You thought the relationship was dead, but suddenly you see signs that it is a little more alive than you thought.
Like many of the new dating trends, this one has a name. It’s called “haunting” and it’s when a relationship is dead, sometimes long dead, but the person in question occasionally comes alive in the form of social media interaction.
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He or she doesn’t directly attempt to come back into your life, but instead only gives occasional, vague, and indirect reminders that they are still alive.
Why People Haunt in Dating
Haunting is a very annoying trend and it’s been made possible by the sheer accessibility of people’s digital lives. Most people have enough of a social media presence that it’s possible for anyone, even total strangers, to keep tabs on their lives. This is especially true of those who come into your life, whether it’s crushes, exes, Tinder matches, and so on.
Exes will typically haunt their former partners for a couple of reasons.
First, they are curious and want to keep tabs on what their ex is up to. This could be for positive or negative purposes. For example, perhaps the person haunting you might genuinely want to know if you’re doing well. But, it also could be because the person is jealous and wants to see if you’re dating someone else.
Second, they “haunt” because they lack the will or desire to initiate full contact with you. Maybe they still like you, but know you don’t want to get back together. So, they put out feelers to see if you’ll contact them first. Perhaps they don’t like you, but want to simply stalk you to make sure you’re not moving on more quickly than they are. Whatever their motivation, they don’t have the motivation to actually be direct with you.
What to Do If You’re Haunted By an Ex
– Block them and/or go private: If your ex is haunting you and you don’t like it, then you could always go private and keep them off of your social media. You might not want to go private and block just to stop a few random likes and views. But, if it bothers you, it’s the easiest option to cut out an ex.
– Reach out to them: Many people haunt as a test to see if you’ll reach out to them. If you still like the person or want to reignite the fires of passion, then you can take the lead and reach out to him or her, taking the hint.
– Just ignore it: If you don’t feel threatened and don’t hate the person, then who cares? It’s an extra like or someone to view a Snapchat story. I believe that it’s never a bad thing to have networking contacts. If you can handle the situation as is, a little haunting every now and then isn’t the end of the world.