High Testosterone Women and Dating

kate moss

She’s beautiful, but note her long fingers and angular face.

We’ve all met women who seem a little different than their fellow females. They may look a little more masculine, and even appear more like men in their attitudes. There may be a simple explanation: they had more testosterone exposure in the womb, which shaped their developing brain to be more masculine. Many even have more testosterone in them now than other women. These women are high testosterone or “High T” women. Other ladies, on the other hand (the majority) are higher in estrogen .

Since most women are higher estrogen, the usual dating advice we give applies to them. This article will explain the traits of the rarer, high testosterone women and what that means for dating them.

Traits of High Testosterone Women

The hormone that makes men manly is testosterone.  What makes women feminine is estrogen. However, all sexes have varying amounts of both chemicals in their bodies.

Higher estrogen men tend to look and act more feminine (e.g. baby faces, man boobs, etc.). Higher testosterone women tend to look and act in more masculine ways. And a lot of “high T” women have had higher levels of testosterone since they were in their moms’ wombs.

So, High T women typically have more mannish features: taller, bigger hands and feet, lacking curves, more prominent jawbone, deeper voices, etc. In fact a recent study showed that higher testosterone exposure in the womb leads to manlier faces in women.

This isn’t to say these women are ugly or extremely manly. In many cases the more masculine features are there, but subtle. And, the women are still objectively pretty.

The biggest differences, however, seem to come in how high testosterone women think and act. They process their thoughts like men and act more like men. High T girls are more competitive, take more risks, pursue power, compartmentalize their emotions, are more sexually aggressive, and have different tastes in men. They also may tend to be tomboys, something which, like the other traits mentioned above, likely goes back to prenatal testosterone exposure.

While it is debated, some research suggests that you can tell if a woman had higher testosterone exposure in the womb by looking at her fingers, and their relationship to one another. People with higher testosterone exposure in the womb will often have ring fingers longer than their index fingers (most men and high-T women). People with higher estrogen exposure will will often have longer index fingers than ring fingers. Look at the images below. The first is David’s hand. The second is his daughter’s.

More Prenatal Testosterone Exposure – Ring finger is longer than index

More prenatal estrogen exposure in the womb: longer index than ring finger.

High Testosterone Women And Dating

When dating High T women or trying to date them, it’s important to keep a few things in mind. While these tips are specific, the one overarching theme is that these ladies think and act more like dudes. Not completely, but enough that it can change the dating game with them quite a bit.

You’re not dealing with a man stuck in a woman’s body. They still have the emotional and mental traits of women. But, you probably are dealing with a girl who, especially at times, thinks and acts a lot more like a man than most other women on the planet.

High testosterone women tend to be more assertive and aggressive with other women and even men. This could be a good thing for guys who are more passive.

Unlike with high estrogen women, the guy may not have to do the majority of the work in approaching and closing. He may not have to do much at all! High T women sometimes aggressively pursue men.

These women are also sometimes less bound by the traditional confines of female taste. A lot of men aren’t choosy about the women they pursue, so long as they are pretty (at least for casual purposes). High T women are similar. They’re often willing to date shorter guys, fatter guys, and other men who may not receive favorable treatment from women with more traditional tastes.

It sounds like the high testosterone woman would be a dream come true. However, that’s not really the case. Because, just like with some high powered men, these woman can be hard to please over the long haul and have a tendency towards promiscuity. She might choose you, but not for long. She also may ultimately need a man a lot more powerful than herself, and that probably isn’t very many men.

This means, when dealing with high testosterone women and dating, that you’ll always have to bring your A game and keep it up. Some guys find it exhausting and have a hard time keeping the relationship strong. However, other guys like High T women because they find them exciting and unique.

When approaching a high testosterone woman, you can probably be rougher around the edges and more direct than usual. Use your lines and routines, but you’d better make sure they aren’t corny or sappy. Approach her in a similar way as you’d approach a man you’d like to meet, but one that looks like a hot female. It’ll likely impress her and be more effective.

So, hopefully you can better understand high testosterone women and even date a few. Many of them are fun and awesome people. They can also be pretty different from their fellow females.

About Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett is a writer, speaker, dating expert, and business owner. His articles have been viewed millions of times, and he has been featured in a variety of publications, including the Wall Street Journal.

Comments

  1. I am good looking kind man as want contact with high tesron woman, my mail: amathiessen@gmail.com

  2. high t women here! I agree with some of the things you say but this article though just describe one type of high T women. The kind of tomboyish girl not much into make up and self enhancing etc the one which would rather hang out with the guys than with the girls and I must say this is not the case of all of them. I can assure you they are hundreds of different high T women. take me and my three sisters as an example. We are not very tall nor big and we do have curves. We are very athletical and have strong jaw lines, but still we have delicate traits do not like fat or feminin men AT all. we have all tend to date very masculine guys and unless they very secretively gay they seemed to hell like us back as well. I am the most “manly” of the three or the least feminin and iv had insulin problems due to high testosterone but still iv got a very feminin face and feminin body. My point is, i it is very stupid and bad for the sake of high T women out there to be misinforming and throwing personal conclusions with out a study to back it up. I think rather than high strogen or testosterone being important for s person to be attractive it is about genetics. If youve got good genes (mental, physical) you will attract partners with your genes quality, no matter what your mom eat to lead to high or low testosterone during pregnancy. With this said I do have to say that i ave got high t friends like the ones you describe and which perfectly fit what you describe but again they are just one type and do not represent all lf them.
    ps: my english is not the best in the world (not a native speaker)

  3. I’m one of those ultra sexy curvy type of high T ladies. very high sex drive and definitely prefer the approach you mentioned in the article. however, because I think like a man but look like a girl I love extra masculine men. they are usually mean but omg so good looking. love tall handsome beefy men to complement my short curvy body. feminine men cannot handle me at all.

  4. my theory on the different types of high T ladies is that some have been mostly exposed to testosterone in the womb but they have very high estrogen levels , evident by a short, curvy body . I am super duper feminine but I clearly am high T. but only I know this because I also act so feminine. constantly giggling , smiling not purposely flirting but men literally fall over themselves. I’m not promiscuous but I want to be because of my high sex drive. but the woman in me grosses out at being with just anyone. It’s not easy straddling both hormone levels .

  5. Dated a high t women for awhile. Closest thing I’ve ever dated to a man – holy shit – but fun as hell. Nice body but broad shoulders, small breasts, SUPER high sex drive, deeper voice, high salary, VERY opinionated/confident, but very attractive. When speaking to her over the phone it was tough to remember she was a woman compared to previous girlfriends she was so sedate/grounded/zen. Always felt like I was always on conference call with a C-level executive.

    Didn’t have to put much in to the relationship. Didn’t have to worry about all the emotional coddling and neediness like other women. She was very independent and just didn’t give a shit about a lot of things. Good learning experience, definitely can challenge the ego of a lot of men who may want a more passive woman. I’m lazy so it was good for awhile. She could be a MEGA ball buster.

    It can be more of a challenge for some of these women ( those for whom testosterone effects more then just the the sex drive itself e.g. voice, body, behavior ) to find long term partners, past the several month mark for various reasons, but if you can handle a high t women have your shit together and are confident they make very very very good girlfriends. Just strap on your seat belt and enjoy the ride….

    • hahahaha dude!!!! laughed my ass off, thats so true!! C-Level Exec haha.
      You just gave the perfect description. Been dating a high t girl these past 2 months, definitely a very very different experience. Sometimes i just think its hard to keep up with the game, i love when her feminine side shows, bad thing is it only last like 15 minutes. I just have a lot of things going on in my mind because of this, sometimes i think its not what im looking for but as well i dont like or want a passive-submissive girl… The hard part for me is when she is almost more manly than me, like, even she gets to the point to call me a pussy or things like that. Im a very emotional person, not weak, just emotional. I like feeling. I write a lot, record music, i find passion in art and nature. As well I weight train very heavy. Its a weird combination. On the other hand, she is more diplomatic, she jokes a lot, Goes to law school, very competent, challenging girl.
      I think i will just keep going, im curious where is this leading us. Definitely a challenge, definitely something very different and fun. Definitely something worth trying. and definitely not something for the average man. Spoiler alert: BALLS REQUIRED

  6. Sylvana says:

    Very high-T woman here. Ring fingers much longer than index fingers (I think they’re onto something with that study). 6 ft. 2, broad shoulders, massive bones, physically very strong. (although I did get lucky and also ended up with a feminine chin and large boobs at least).
    This article describes me down to the smallest detail. And it was beautifully written. Particularly the point how we might feel like men in a woman’s body, but we’re still women after all.
    I cannot begin to relate to women or understand them (how do men tolerate the drama and obsession with shoes and clothes?) But on the other hand, my core is extremely feminine. Not in the way I dress (because I feel as uncomfortable as a straight man in a dress with make-up on), but the desire to nurture, to feel safe, secure, and protected.
    Not like I need to be protected. Most people (including men) are afraid of me due to my size ad attitude (quietly confident and unafraid). But that doesn’t mean I actually want to come to blows with someone myself.
    I also constantly feel the need to protect those perceived as “weaker” than me, and do not mind providing for those in need.
    I also have a very high sex-drive and no tolerance for a man who can’t keep up.
    Sadly, I also crave a very masculine man. A man who is more powerful than me. But, at least, one who is equally strong. (just like the article mentions). Romantically, I cannot tolerate a man who isn’t (due to my feminine core).
    Since those type of men often prefer very all-around feminine women, women like me rarely have a chance to be in a relationship.
    Also, as the article mentioned, I’m definitely not that concerned about “looks”. I’m attracted to the energy a man puts out.
    The description on how to approach a high-T woman couldn’t have been more correct when applied to me. I most certainly prefer the rougher around the edges, direct approach, and it dare not be corny or fake. I get confused how to react when approached like most “regular” woman, and irritated when approached as if I was dominant.
    Nothing irritates me more than constantly hearing how I could probably whoop anyone’s behind. Yes, I could. But would I? No way. That’s a MAN’s job.
    Women like me are basically screwed when it comes to dating. We are NOT ball-busters, man-haters, or constantly wanting to be better than a man, or to be a man in general. But we are often instantly perceived as such, since we are very much like men (from thought-processes to interests to body language, physical toughness – not just strength, protectiveness, and compassionate leadership).
    We do, however, expect a lot from men, and are not afraid to voice that. We expect them to be as least as tough as us, and find it hard to understand that the “harder” sex oftentimes does not live up to it’s name (if we can do it, why can’t they?)
    The way I see it, it’s a blessing and a curse. We have a easier time surviving on our own. But on the other hand, we will rarely ever have our emotional needs met.
    Basically, we’re often mistaken for those dominant wanna-be men with boobs. And it couldn’t be further from the truth.
    The way you men can easily tell the difference: Compassion. We might act like men, but we have a lot of it, particularly for those who are weaker. We will also not step over bodies to get to the top. It’s simply not that important to us. While we are not easily impressed and will argue if something doesn’t make sense or isn’t logic, we will not try to win or be better at any cost. You have to prove you know better or are better, but once you do, we will not try to compete with you. You have to earn our trust.
    I will not tell my mechanic how to do his job, but if he takes apart my break pedal when I brought the car in for a broken window, I’m not just going to submit and claim “he’s the expert.”
    Thank you for this wonderful article!

  7. This is interesting! Im very curvy and pretty but i don’t think like most women. I did notice i have the longer ring finger! Id say im not as naive as other women who believe in love forever blah blah blah. I know how men are and i don’t trust them in the romantic sense. Instead i am an escort and i firmly believe that many men would do the same if they could. Why deal with games, cheating and bullshit for free when you can avoid all that and get PAID?? To me most women are deluded, naive and don’t have their priorities straight. Now im thinking maybe its because they’re weak ass estrogen dominant bishes lol

  8. Realizing I’m a high T women after reading this article and comments. Very athletic, athletic body type as in no hips but I do have nice boobs and am attractive. I look like a tall, athletic Norah Jones as I’ve been told. I get attention from both men and women and have been told by men that I’m very intimidating though not sure why because I’m quiet when I first meet people. I have a deeper voice, phone sex voice my male friends have told me, lol. I’m half Mexican and half Swedish and I know I am an attractive female, especially if I want to amp up the sexuality which I do at times because being more “masculine” gets to me. Not as much as it use to but it does affect me at times. I feel like it’s a double edged sword because men are very attracted to my looks and my personality as well but I find myself frequently in situations where I’m handling my shit better than most men and this intimidates them. Men seem to be turned off when they find out I can play sports better than them, my working out consists of MMA and boxing, that I challenge them in basically anything. Not to say I’m over the top by any means nor trying to be a feminist but I speak my mind and am independent and there are few men out there that can handle any of this. I guess my challenge in this has been trying to figure out how to make myself more feminine without feeling like I’m selling myself short. I can make myself look more feminine because sex sells as we all know but then I’m getting the kind of attention I don’t necessarily like, ooogling. And i feel very fake when I try to be more ‘submissive’ in conversation, if that makes any sense. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy taking care of a man, feeding him, being affectionate and what not but the hard part is getting to that point.

  9. Andrew Kiezik says:

    Are you sure the so called high testosterone women in these comments are actually really high testosterone? I doubt it. Broad shoulders etc are genetics! check your testosterone level, I am sure nobody here has high T as you self imagined.

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