There is a strange gravitational force that appears in photos of some men with pretty women. A guy appears to be close to a girl and have his arm around her…yet, his hand seems to mysteriously hover away from her arm, waist, or any other body part.
This phenomenon even has a name: hover hand.
I’ve seen it in prom photos, poses with celebrities, even when guys are hanging out with girls they are supposedly dating. Like me, you probably cringe when you see it. Why would a guy ever do this awkward “hover hand” pose?
It comes down to confidence. The less confident the guy, and the more beautiful the woman, the more you’ll see hover hand.
A guy who does a hover hand on a girl (or anyone) shows that he can’t own the situation. He can’t just put his arm around her and see what happens. He fears touching her for whatever reason, so hover hand is the result.
It looks weird in photos because it appears the guy doesn’t want to be there or doesn’t like the other person. Or, he seems super insecure. All are true in a way. The guy with the hover hand is likely so nervous, he doesn’t know what to do!
If you are in situations where you’re likely to be in photos, then you need to own those moments. I don’t care if it’s your office secretary or some girl you just met at a concert. Put your arm around the person like you actually like her (if that’s expected).
Don’t be overtly inappropriate or go into sexual harassment. Also, don’t squeeze too hard! But, grasp her firmly and confidently. Don’t give any hint of a hover hand, especially if she puts her arm around you. If you’re dating her, then grab her like you’re…dating her. This isn’t that difficult people!
If you don’t feel comfortable touching her, then don’t put your arm around her to begin with. If you do, own it and avoid the hover hand.
If you are worried about being appropriate, then just put your arm around her shoulder. This is usually socially acceptable. If you can put it around her middle rib area or even lower, then go for it. However, you probably want to stick to the shoulder with the wife of the boss (or your boss).
If you get nervous, just remember that as a confident, attractive guy, you must own your actions and your space. Bring her confidently into your space and your world. If you’re in a photo and she locks arms, you belong there! Make it your photo. This is just the way it works with confident men.
If she doesn’t like you putting your arm around her, then she’ll tell you. And, at that point, you remove your arm. Better to try than look like a loser for all eternity by being the guy whose hover hand photo is shared on the net.
So, next time you get a chance to be in a photo, resist the force (i.e. anxiety) that leads to hover hand. Confidently and firmly put your arm around that girl! Own the situation and banish the embarrassing hover hand forever.