The key to evolution and survival in nature is the ability to adapt. For example, if an animal eats a certain insect and the insect dies out, the animal better find another food source or it will die. Adaptation means survival.
The same principle is at work in your dating and social life. Modern society is pretty cutthroat and it can seem like survival of the fittest. One way to thrive in the current scene is to be able to adapt quickly. In addition, adaptation is extremely important to be successful at work and in other environments.
However, not everyone knows how to adapt. After all, haven’t we all seen someone who seems stuck in another decade? Fortunately, we explain was to successfully adapt.
Let the Past Be Past
I know a guy who always talks about the great times he had playing football and how successful he was doing it. Of course, those days were 1994. While he had genuine accomplishments then, his continued reliance on them has hampered him in the present.
You can’t adapt to new circumstances if you’re constantly living in the past or making the most of old accomplishments. If you’re the guy who is known for something thirty years ago, it’s time to quit milking that accomplishment and create some new ones.
Let the past stay there. Enjoy your memories and be proud of your accomplishments. But, don’t be so enamored of the past that you can’t adapt and find new success in the future. When you go out and meet women, for example, have current accomplishments. No woman wants to hear about how great you were…in 1994.
One Goal, Many Paths
I once worked with a woman who insisted that everyone had to follow the same path to properly educate students. Granted, it didn’t work for every student, but that was no matter. One path, one outcome. Sometimes, however, this leads to no outcome (as was the case with a good number of our students).
When you’re trying to be successful socially (or in life), you have to realize that there are many paths to an outcome. For example, if you find a girl you really like and she’s not your typical woman, you probably don’t want to use your typical techniques. If your outcome is a date with a girl, then remember that there are many different paths.
If my old boss had allowed different paths to an outcome, we likely would’ve reached even more kids. It’s the same in your life. If you can adapt and find different ways to reach different people, you’ll get your outcome: dates, friends, etc.
Re-evaluate Your Goals
Sometimes it’s not just the paths you need to examine when learning how to adapt. Maybe your goals need re-evaluated. Perhaps at age forty the goal of starting a rock and roll band to be popular isn’t as realistic as using your financial success to impress women.
If your overarching purpose in life is to be popular, happy, and loved, then you may need to re-evaluate what will bring you that. Change those goals if needed. Regularly re-evaluate your goals and outcomes and ditch those that are either unrealistic or unhelpful.
Be Open to New Experiences
The absolute best tip to know how to adapt is to generally be open to new experiences. While some people are naturally curious and open, others are the opposite. If you’re the person who never wants to try new food or events, rigidly clings to a fixed schedule, and refuses to listen to anything “new-fangled,” then you’re likely closed to new experiences.
The biggest part of adapting is being open to new things. The animal from the earlier example that will try a new bug is going to survive. The animal that prefers death to eating a new insect will get its wish.
The same happens socially. I know many guys who are miserable and dateless, yet refuse to acknowledge they’re doing anything wrong or try anything new to solve their problems. If going to a club fifty times and leaving alone isn’t working, then maybe it’s time to be open to a new experience, whether it’s new techniques or a locale.
Try to encourage your natural curiosity. Frame a new experience as a chance to be pleasantly surprised rather than a chance to be let down or anxious. Sometimes trying new things with a friend will help you appreciate them.
Being open to experiences allows you to try various things out there and then make a decision on what helps your life and what doesn’t. The ability to adapt is really about choices. The more options you have, the better your chances of finding a way to survive–and thrive–socially.
So, go out and adapt. Try something new. Survive in the wild of the modern social environment. Better yet, adapt and thrive.