How To Build Self Confidence: Four Easy Tips

man winning with fists in air

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In my line of work, we are totally focused on making men more confident. Although our goal is popularity for men (and even women), it all comes down to how to build self confidence. A man will never be popular and successful unless he is first confident, even cocky. It’s just the expectation of society.

Fortunately, no one is born confident. That means you can learn it! It can be difficult, but it is possible for people of any age. Below are our four easy tips where we explain how to build self confidence (or more of it).


You may lack confidence because your brain constantly reminds you that you lack it. Those men (and women) who have self confidence have brains that tell them they’re confident. And, your brain dictates your actions.

If you have low self esteem, then you likely have a lot of negative self talk in your head. You’ll have to get your brain fighting for you, not against you. You can do this by re-training your brain. One way is through positive affirmations. You can craft these based on your goals, then say them frequently throughout the day.

When making affirmations to build up your self esteem, use language of process, like becoming, manifesting, etc. Otherwise, your brain will try to sabotage you. For example, if you say “I am popular” your brain will likely say “yeah right.” If you say “I’m becoming more popular each day,” it’s more realistic and attainable.

Have Confident Body Language

There’s an old AA saying: “fake it until you make it.” Body language is a good way to fake self confidence. Practice confident body language and try to apply the techniques in public. Walk in an open fashion (e.g. arms somewhat wide), keep your head up, puff your chest out a little, own your space (like by stretching your arms over the chair next to you).

Practice these in front of a mirror and around family. Model self assured people. Watch how they carry themselves. Don’t over do it or you’ll look foolish, though. Having the right body language will allow you to appear self confident. And, the more you do it, the body language will impact your attitude too.

Act Like You Own The Place

No article on how to build self confidence would be complete without my old favorite. If you’re timid when going out, act like you own the place. This doesn’t mean pretending you’re the actual owner. It means that you behave like you’re the owner. It basically means you act like you’re in charge.

This manifests itself in confidence, swagger, relaxation, friendliness, and even concern for others. For example, do you think the owner of a club would stand in the background staring at ladies and being too afraid to approach them? Heck no! Would the owner of a business stay in his cubicle too scared to stand up for himself? No way! Act like you own the place and go from there.

Actually Be Accomplished

Most people lack self-confidence because they have nothing to be confident about. In that case, all the tricks (even the above ones), will ultimately fall flat. We all know in our hearts whether we’re worth knowing and following. Do you have the traits and accomplishments to be truly high value? If not, get started.

When I am out, I can be cocky because I run popular websites, have written two books (soon to be published), am in great shape, and am generally successful. I don’t have to fake confidence because I have accomplishments that people value.

If you don’t have any real accomplishments then go out and make them. Learn a new skill, take up an instrument, get in shape, write a book, start a business, etc. Be worth knowing and the self confidence will come naturally.

Now, get out and start being more confident. These tips should help you become the self assured person you know you can truly be.

About Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett is a writer, speaker, dating expert, and business owner. His articles have been viewed millions of times, and he has been featured in a variety of publications, including the Wall Street Journal.

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