I have a friend who is pretty wealthy. He goes to bars and buys drinks for random people. It’s a very cool gesture, but he does it primarily in the hopes that women will be impressed by him and want to date him. Although he is well-known in these places and has made a lot of friends, he has yet to get a date. He’s a nice guy, but not overly attractive. They befriend him, while date people who are…gasp…attractive.
You can’t bribe a woman into finding you attractive, whether it’s money, an expensive dinner, or compliments. If this was the case, all the try hard thirsty guys who comment “your (sic) beautiful” on the selfies of Instagram “models” would be dating those women. In fact, we’ve written a whole article on why complimenting women doesn’t get you dates.
Women will definitely take your compliments (if you’re not a creep) but they won’t necessarily date you unless other factors are at play. Complimenting a woman who doesn’t like you leads to outright rejection for creepiness or the friend zone.
How To Compliment A Girl
There is definitely a place for compliments. The great romantics throughout history who had incredible success with women utilized sweet talking and compliments.
But, compliments must be given under certain circumstances. Here is how to compliment a girl in a way that will get you dates with them and make them even more attracted to you.
It’s All About Attraction
Lots of guys start online dating messages with “Hey beautiful…” The vast majority don’t even get a response. Compliments only work with a woman if she’s already attracted to the guy. Otherwise, there’s the creepy or friend-zone factor.
Once you meet her, determine if she’s romantically attracted to you. Look for the various signs of attraction (like hair flipping, etc.). If she matches with you on a dating app that’s a good sign she thinks you’re at least somewhat attractive.
Initial attraction is important. If it’s there, then your compliments (done right) make her like you more. It’s like if a beautiful girl tells you you’re hot. That is valuable; hearing it from your eighty year old great aunt isn’t (and is creepy). So, throw out compliments, but only once you’re completely sure that she likes you (at least in a basic, initial sense) and in a way that doesn’t make you look weird, overeager, or needy.
Compliment With Confidence
Even if she likes you, complimenting the wrong way can make you look like a loser. You don’t ever want to appear to be sucking up or wimpy. That’s why knowing how to compliment girls involves doing it with confidence.
This means complimenting in a way that makes you look good. You can usually accomplish this by being decisive and concise. For example, don’t go on and on about how great she is or practically recite a poem in her honor. Rather, say something like “you look really beautiful tonight” or “that dress makes you look hot.” Also, never compliment to suck up.
Compliments only mean something if you don’t always throw them around. Let her know that you don’t compliment often and live according to this rule. This way your compliments are more valuable and they’re taken more seriously. It also shows that you are confident.
So, you might want to tell a girl that you’ve met and you know likes you that you don’t compliment much, then say “but” and proceed to give her a compliment. It makes that praise more believable and valuable.
Above all, just don’t go overboard in your compliments. This way, you’re showing her that your compliments mean something.
Mix Compliments And Teasing
Remember that teasing women (aka flirting) is a great strategy to get them to like you. When praising them for something, don’t forget the teasing factor as well. If you give out a few compliments, make sure to keep up the teases too.
Women like being teased (in a fun, flirty way). So, you’re not playing good cop, bad cop here. But, you’re keeping the relationship in a good mix of serious/playful. And, you’re keeping her guessing a little about your true intentions.
You can also mix teasing into a compliment. Something like “I love your hair tonight. It reminds me of my mom’s curtains” is a nice mix. Just make sure that she knows you’re joking and afterwards make sure to tell her that you really do like her hair.
Women aren’t stupid. They know that many guys use compliments as a tactic to try get laid. I find it especially amusing to watch guys tell unattractive women how beautiful they are in an attempt to score. Those women rightfully see through their charade.
If you take away one piece of advice, it is this: compliment a girl authentically. In other words, compliment her only when you mean it and truly want to express it. If you find yourself wanting to compliment a woman, ask yourself this: what are my true intentions?
Above all, do you really mean what you’re saying? If you are complimenting to suck up, lying to get her approval, using it as a tactic to try to get a date, attempting to appease her, and so on, then don’t compliment her. If, however, you really feel a certain way, then by all means let her know with confidence and charm.