In high school, I would often pick out a girl who seemed to be very introverted and try to get to know her better. Like other guys, I assumed that shy girls were perfect to pursue and date. I assumed that shy girls would be easier to win over and date, unlike the bubbly, outgoing popular girls whom I considered to be “difficult.”
The basic assumption is that shy women have to be quiet and introverted because they’re somehow deficient socially. Or, perhaps since they’re shy, they don’t get as much attention from other guys (or seek it). Consequently, many guys expect introverted women to be easy to date, then find out the hard truth: shy girls aren’t desperate losers dying to date them.
In fact, winning over shy girls can be more difficult. They can be incredibly frustrating at times, especially for outgoing guys. However, you shouldn’t shy away from these girls (pun intended) because some are cute and nice. So, here is how to date shy girls
Lead the Conversation
While guys are expected to man up and lead the conversation with all girls, it becomes even more essential (and difficult) with shyer ones. With outgoing girls, you get started and they typically follow along easily with little effort. This isn’t true with shy girls.
Shy women will say less, so you’ll not only have to start the conversation, but also carry the full burden of keeping it going. To succeed, work on being a good conversationalist. Ask open ended questions, build rapport by finding their interests and talking about them, and be patient. They will take longer to open up at first, but, if you give them time, it will happen if they like you. Just don’t be pushy. Oh, and listen. Resist the urge to keep talking and talking.
You’ll Get Less Feedback
The great thing about outgoing women is they’ll give you feedback, especially if they like you. You’ll get texts and in-person comments letting you know how you’re doing and what she thinks of you. It’s great to hear how attractive you are, the things you’re doing well, etc. This is especially useful if you’re unsure where the relationship is (or isn’t) heading. It’s also nice if you’re very extroverted and seek that approval and attention.
Shy girls aren’t as open about their feelings, at least at first. You might get a compliment or affirmation or two, but they’re often few and far between. Don’t let it affect you. It takes a secure guy to do well with shy women. If you need attention that badly, you probably should work on that, as well.
Keep Plugging Away
Remember that introverts look inward for strength and energy and that includes with their emotions. Consequently, shy girls often have bigger walls than their outgoing counterparts. They get dumped? It goes more inward. A guy screws them over? They might not confront him, but stuff it inside. And, so on.
So, you might have to work a little harder to connect emotionally and romantically with a shyer woman. But, that doesn’t mean they’re not worth breaking down those walls. That shy girl might like you and be worth the effort.
Also, I’m not implying all shy women have more issues than outgoing women. Just that those who do, if they’re introverted, may not have dealt with them as well as their more talkative counterparts.
Obviously, you have to decide if you’re a good fit with a shy girl. Keep in mind, however, that many shy girls will open up once they like you and trust you. So, later on in the relationship, she might talk your ear off!
So, now you have a brief primer on how to date shy girls. If she’s cute and nice, find one and go for it!