How To Date Shy Girls

shy girl

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles /

In high school I would often pick out a girl who seemed to be very introverted and try to get to know her better. Like other guys, I assumed that shy girls were perfect to pursue and date. The assumption is that those types of girls are easier to deal with and win over. After all, they have to be quiet and introverted because they’re somehow deficient socially, right? And, for guys who feel threatened by stronger, better looking women, it makes perfect sense.

But, winning over shy girls can be more difficult at times. And, they can also be incredibly frustrating, especially for outgoing guys. However, you shouldn’t shy away from these girls (pun intended) because some are cute and nice. Here we explain how to date shy girls.

You’ll Have To Lead the Conversation

While guys are expected to man up with more outgoing girls, knowing how to date shy girls involves knowing you’ll also have to do more work. Dating extroverted girls may not be easy, but at least you can get a conversation going. If you want to use your routines and skills with the shy ladies, you’ll have to do so under different, more difficult conditions.

Shy girls will say less, so you’ll definitely have to start and carry the conversation. You’ll also get less verbal feedback, meaning you’ll have to be a better judge of body language to determine if you’re succeeding. Don’t give up too quickly, but realize you’ll have to do most of the heavy lifting in the conversation part of the approach, rapport, and close.

You’ll Get Less Feedback

The great thing about outgoing women is they’ll give you feedback, especially if they like you. You’ll get texts telling you that, as well as in person comments. It’s great to hear how attractive you are, the things you’re doing well, etc. This is especially useful if you’re unsure where the relationship is (or isn’t) heading. It’s also nice if you’re very extroverted and seek that approval and attention.

Shy girls don’t offer that as much. You might get a compliment or affirmation or two, but they’re often few and far between. Don’t let it affect your game. You can’t expect affirmation or attention every five minutes. Because with a shy one, it’s not likely coming as often. It takes a secure guy to do well with shy women. If you need attention that badly, you probably should work on that as well.

Keep Plugging Away

Remember that introverts look inward for strength and energy and that includes with their emotions. Consequently, shy girls often have bigger walls than their outgoing counterparts. They get dumped? It goes more inward. A guy screws them over? They likely don’t go off on him, but take it inside. And, so on.

So, lots of shyer ladies will have bigger walls than more extroverted ones. But, that doesn’t mean they’re not worth breaking down those walls. Just keep in mind the wall could be bigger. She might like you and be worth the effort.

But, you have to keep plugging away, working to build rapport and moving the relationship to romance. You can’t let those walls stand in your way or let yourself be deterred by lack of verbal feedback.

Also, I’m not implying all shy women have more issues than outgoing women. Just that those who do, if they’re introverted, may not have dealt with them as well as their more talkative counterparts.

So, now you have a brief primer on how to date shy girls. If she’s cute and nice, find one and go for it!

About Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett is a writer, speaker, dating expert, and business owner. His articles have been viewed millions of times, and he has been featured in a variety of publications, including the Wall Street Journal.

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