If there is a language of love, it’s not poetry and sappy pronouncements on Twitter. It’s flirting. Every passionate, romantic relationship started out with flirting. Flirting is fun, thrilling, and bonds us with the person we like.
However, we live in a digital age where a good chunk of romance is pursued through instant messaging, a medium where it can be difficult to show emotion. And, many guys aren’t good at flirting to start. So, you have a situation where guys who can barely flirt in person try to impress girls over text and it goes poorly.
But, even guys who are great at flirting in person still haven’t quite figured out how to flirt with a girl over text. However, successfully flirting with her on text is a great skill because it gives you a huge advantage.
She can see your charm, fun, and flirty behavior all the time, not just when you happen to see her in person. So, you can increase her attraction to you anytime she’s using her phone!
So, if you are looking for tips to flirt with a girl over text, follow this advice! This advice will be useful to both get a girl you want to date and be flirtatious in a relationship. It also should help you revive a dying relationship.
Be Your Best Self
A client of mine was funny, witty, and outgoing with women in person, but told me he struck out in online dating. Since he was physically attractive, he got matches. However, once he started messaging them, the conversations almost always died.
He was sending them one word responses, very little actual conversation, and complete fact sharing. In one particularly boring series of texts, they discussed the weather.
Yet, this was a guy who, when talking to women at a bar or social event, would never fail to leave with a number (or more). He certainly didn’t bore them to tears with talk about the rain. It turns out he met with a dating “expert” who told him texting was “only for making plans.” While I’m not a huge fan of texting, and meeting in person is always more fun, in 2017 this attitude is simply unhelpful.
Many guys already know how to flirt with a girl over text because they know how to do it person. However, due to bad advice, fear of technology, or simple laziness, they don’t let their charming, fun selves shine through.
If you’re funny, friendly, witty, flirty, and enjoyable in person, then show her that through text! In addition, if you wouldn’t do something in person, don’t do it over text. This includes whiny, needy, and desperate behavior. It also includes junk pics.
Feels, Not Facts
If you’ve ever been “in the zone,” you know that great flirting is really just joking around and having fun with a girl you find attractive. That is what romantic relationships are built upon. In other words, you are creating feelings within her: feelings of excitement, fun, and, hopefully, attraction.
Guys who are in another zone (the friend zone) stick to intellectual topics over text. Friends, acquaintances, and co-workers share information with each other. While you can certainly share facts over text, if you only do that, she’s going to simply look at you as only a friend.
Be funny, charming, edgy, and even a little outrageous. Tease her (nicely) and give her a (joking) hard time about stuff. Even if you share facts, make the experience interesting. For example, don’t talk about the weather, but about how the weather affected you in a funny, interesting way.
However, you don’t want to get emotional with her, unless of course the situation warrants it (like you’re in a serious relationship). To succeed at flirting, you want the feelings she associates with you to be fun ones. So, avoid talking about your bad day at work. But, definitely make her laugh when she’s had a bad day.
You always want your humor and charm to have a sexual edge, otherwise you’re just a fun buddy to her. By keeping sexual tension, you’re making sure that your efforts at fun, humor, and charm are taken as flirting, not just friendly banter.
You want to keep sexual talk light and fun when flirting. And, keep it subtle! Too many guys quickly make the conversation overly serious and even creepy. That’s when they get blocked. If you are sexually active with her, then obviously you can be blunt and more open. Even then, the flirting should always be fun, not just a serious affair (like sex itself).
A good way to flirt in a romantic way is to use double entendre. This is when a word has two meanings, one more suggestive and the other innocent. If you can pull off that, you’ll find a lot of success in flirting. That way your sexy talk has an innocent side that stops you from being creepy. And, the fun wordplay shows her you’re smart.
Her: (talking about basketball) Jeez, the Cavaliers just can’t score!
You: They should recruit me. I’m great at scoring. Oh wait. You meant basketball…
Fortunately for your texting and flirting skills, we live in the age of emojis. You might find them annoying, but they can be great resources when trying to flirt with a girl over text.
It’s hard to get your tone across over texting. You might type something flirty, but she might take it seriously because it’s read over a device, not delivered with your smiling, laughing, and playful body language.
How can you mimic playful body language and a fun tone? With emojis, of course! When you use emojis, keep in mind that you don’t want to overuse them. Also, emojis are most often used by women. So, you’ll want to use the more masculine ones in a more masculine way. Let her send the other ones to you.
I’m a big fan of a few emojis for flirting. Here are three of my favorites.
-The angel and devil are great for flirting because they add a cute touch to your edgier comments. You can say something that pushes the envelope. Add an angel or devil and it becomes cuter. Use the angel for ironic touch, like when you say something a little raunchy.
-The wink emoji is great, when not overused, to let her know that you’re just giving her a hard time. This is useful for when you’re teasing her a little. It’s telling her “this is playful” rather than “this is mean spirited” or “serious.”
So, these tips will help you flirt better over text. Follow them and you’ll take your conversations from bland and boring to flirtatious quickly. And, with that, a greater chance of dating the girl or having a great, passionate relationship.