2015 is on the way out.
Quick, what were your 2015 New Year’s resolutions? Can’t tell me? Did you write them down? If so, you might want to check. Many people didn’t write them down or lost them, most people can’t even remember what theirs were, and, the vast vast vast majority certainly didn’t achieve them.
So, what’s stopping you from making 2016 your best year yet?
Yep. You are stopping yourself. Not consciously necessarily. But, let’s look at your New Year’s resolutions from last year. You thought about them for a few days, then what happened? Nothing unless you’re in the small minority of people.
Your brain patterns were already wired for your old behaviors. So, you said, “lose weight,” “get fit,” “approach more women,” and “update your wardrobe.” However, your brain simply acted on your old habits, which were reinforced by years and years of old behaviors, rather than five minutes of resolved determination. Thus, your brain acted with “eat junk,” “sit on the couch,” “stare at women from a distance,” and “keep wearing that ratty graphic t-shirt you bought in 2010.”
Change is hard. If it were easy, then everyone would be more outgoing, happy, skinny, and in amazing shape.
So, how can you make 2016 your best year yet? Three words: consistency, habit, and playing through the pain.
What do I mean by that?
When I say consistency, I mean that you’ll have to consistently act on your goals. So, if you decide you’re going to get in great shape, you need, from the very start, to consistently take steps to be in great shape. While I’m not saying you should run ten miles and kill yourself the first day, you should at least take concrete steps on a very consistent basis, especially at the start. So, using the previous example, walk a mile, then the next day, jog ten minutes. Then, fifteen. And, so on. If you are consistent, you’re creating…
A habit. Yes, the next step is to make the steps to achieve your goal a habit. The reason resolutions are so hard to keep is that they usually involve fighting previously entrenched habits. So, your habit for five years has been to sit your butt on a couch after work. Instead, you’ll have to make going to the gym after work a new habit. It won’t happen in a few days or even weeks. But that means you’ll have to…
Play through the pain. Change is painful. You’ll have to do it anyway. Physical goals like losing weight and getting fit will involve physical pain. Mental and emotional goals (like talking to new women everyday, making new friends, etc.) will involve mental and emotional pain (like the anxiety of approaching women). While you don’t want to get hurt (like playing through a sprain or giving yourself a panic attack), know that change will involve making yourself uncomfortable and cause you some pain. Play through it.
So, make 2016 your best year yet. Oh, and Happy New Year!