A lot of people are lonely and unappreciated. As people work more and more, and spend more time alone with technology, not to mention the breakdown of families and communities, people don’t feel valued. If you are the remedy to this problem, you will make lots and lots of friends easily.
Making friends is simple if you follow the maxim below. Knowing how to make friends is pretty easy, and people that have a lot of friends do this naturally. Are you ready for it?
Take an interest in as many people as possible
That’s it. People like for others to take an interest in them, i.e. appreciate them. If you show interest in people and their passions, you will make them feel happy, which means they will want to be around you. It’s not rocket science (but it is brain science!). Do this with a diverse group of people, and you will have a lot of friends.
The easiest way to show interest is to simply ask questions. A genuine “how are you?” or even better, a more specific question related to an individual person, like “I heard you had a great run at the last meet. What was your time?” shows interest.
For example, at work, I will talk to our coaches about their teams, and the art teacher about her and her students work. I always congratulate the quiz bowl adviser and the team members when they do well. I ask about their progress regularly. Some days I remember to see what the musically inclined people in my life are into, and other days it might be the gamers. I try to take an interest in everybody I directly encounter, and I have a lot of friends because of it.
There are three things you should keep in mind. First, it helps to pay attention. Pay attention to interests, people’s habits, etc. This makes asking specific questions and saying direct things (like “great job at making it to state”) possible. Second, be genuine. You have to really care, which means listening to their response and being ready to carry on a conversation. Third, keep it appropriate and non-creepy. Don’t ask questions that are too personal, and don’t overdo it (i.e. show people that you have other interests too, and recognize that they do as well; talk about other things too).
I should note that using this technique without modification works for straight-up friendship. The rules of romantic engagement are more complex. You will want to take an interest in girls, and make them feel happy, but in a different way, to distinguish you from “just a friend.”