How To Make Eye Contact

man with blue eyes

Image courtesy of Ian Kahn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Making eye contact is very important in social situations. I’ve been told on more than one occasion by women that they love my ability to make eye contact with them. But, knowing how to make eye contact isn’t just an advantage with the opposite sex. It’s also a great way to show men, bosses, and others in you life that you are confident.

However, it’s not easy for a lot of guys to make eye contact. At one point, I had a hard time with it too. That’s why you see lots of guys looking at the ground or looking away when they talk to others. But, you can change! Here are our tips explaining how to make eye contact.

Practice

Likely you’ve been avoiding eye contact with others for a long time now. Well, you’re not going to go from avoiding someone’s eyes during a conversation to perfect eye contact in a couple days. Usually lack of eye contact stems from social anxiety. So, you’ll have to overcome the feeling of nervousness that comes with looking someone in the eye.

That means you’ll have to practice making eye contact. Pick a low stress option first. You can even find a poster of a person and look “her” in the eye while talking to “her.” Don’t tell others you’re doing this or let them see it, of course! But, it’ll get you used to looking at someone else’s eyes.

Resolve to look your family members in the eye at first. Then, practice at home. Hopefully you’re not nervous around them at least! This will get you comfortable with making eye contact. Then, be sure to make eye contact in every social situation.

Be Accountable

It may help to tell friends about your new goal of learning how to make eye contact (don’t tell them about the poster) and have them let you know if you look down or elsewhere while talking. As previously mentioned, we get so used to not making eye contact, it takes time and practice to change our ways.

Having a friend (nicely) tell us to look him or her in the eye is a great reminder when we start to fall into old habits.

Cheat

If looking others in the eye is too difficult or feels awkward, then it’s OK to cheat a little. Look slightly above their eyes or slightly to the left or right of them. But, the key here is to not move too far from the actual eyes. If you do, then you’re getting back to the old problems.

I wouldn’t keep cheating forever. If you have issues with making eye contact, then it’s important to actually get over them. However, in high stress situations or in the beginning, this form of cheating may help.

Don’t Overdo It

Eye contact is different than staring. Staring is associated with creepiness or romantic attachment. If you make eye contact with a girl you just met, she’ll think you’re confident. If you stare dreamily into her eyes, she’ll think (know?) you’re a creeper or just weird.

So, when you make eye contact, keep in mind the rest of your facial language. Smile, nod your head, show other expressions, and even look away under natural circumstances (like you hear a noise).

Uninterrupted, static eye contact looks like you’re either in a staring contest or in love. If you’re not doing either of those, keep it natural.

So, eye contact is important and knowing how to make eye contact is essential for social success. From this point forward get out there and be confident, especially with your eyes.

About Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett is a writer, speaker, dating expert, and business owner. His articles have been viewed millions of times, and he has been featured in a variety of publications, including the Wall Street Journal.

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