A Facebook friend of mine often posts sad memes related to her failed relationships. Although she has many dates, it’s clear she has few feelings for them. Instead, she longs to get back with an ex from many years ago.
This isn’t as uncommon as you think. Many men and women have long held feelings of love. Even married people and those in long term relationships might secretly pine for another person.
If you’re a woman reading this article, you might be wondering how to make him miss you and want you back. It’s an honest question when you love someone so much, you can’t let go.
As a man and a dating coach, I know from experience and my research into attraction the most successful techniques to make a guy miss you and come back into your life.
Detach From Him
This advice might seem like it makes no sense. After all, if you want him back, why would you pull away from him? It’s for a couple of reasons and it will make sense, so keep reading.
First, if you’re obsessed with making a guy miss you, then it’s going to stop you from being your best self. And, if you’re not at your best, how are you going to show him what he’s missing?
Second, if he knows that you are attached to him, then why would he ever want to go back to you? Trust me as a guy. If he knows that you are waiting for him, then he will have zero incentive to ever commit to you in the present. He knows you’ll always be waiting for him. He has the balance of power in your relationship and many guys will use that to their advantage.
Detachment isn’t easy though. Breaking up with someone has been compared to the grieving process. Not only that, but separation, whether it’s divorce from a husband or wife or simply breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, has physical symptoms similar to drug withdrawal and having a heart attack!
This article here contains great tips to detach from someone you love. But, don’t think I’m advising you to give up. Rather, detaching will allow you to become your best self. By ditching the excess attachment, you’re setting yourself up to get him back.
Be Your Best
I’ll never forget when a girl dumped me in high school. We had been dating a few weeks and she decided I wasn’t right for her. She immediately started dating someone else and I compared myself to him. It was not a pleasant comparison. I was out of shape, uptight, and dressed poorly.
I decided I would change that. Yes, my motivation was to make her see how great I looked and miss me. I wasn’t sure that I wanted her back, but I definitely wanted her to be jealous of the new me.
Let’s be real for a moment: if the guy left you and is currently ignoring you or not giving you the attention you want, then you’ll need to give him a new reason to give you a second look. You do this by becoming your best self.
Being your best self looks different for different people. But, it might mean getting fit, traveling, taking up yoga or meditation, going back to school, working on your confidence, or even updating your wardrobe. The beauty of this strategy is that you’ll not only be getting his attention, but you’re making yourself a better person, which will have benefits beyond winning back an ex.
Once you’ve worked on becoming your best self, then you have to show it off! Make sure you post all about your changes to your social media accounts, especially the ones you know that he follows.
You definitely want to play up how great your life is and how happy you are. This will turn the tables. Rather than you just missing him, you’ll be showing him what he’s missing out on by not being with you.
This will have the effect, if he’s paying attention, of making him intrigued by the person you’ve become. And, it might even make him jealous. You’ll be showing him what he could have…if he goes back to dating you.
What if your life isn’t the greatest and your sad, mad, depressed, or generally not happy? Still, keep your social media and public persona positive. You’ll want him to think you’re happy as can be without him.
If he thinks you’re stuck on him or miserable because of him, he knows he’s in total control. If, however, he thinks you’re happy and doing great, you regain the power in the relationship dynamic. So, aim for being happy and independent. If you aren’t quite there yet, make it look like you are. Sometimes knowing how to make him miss you and want you back simply comes down to faking it until you make it.
A good friend of mine was dumped by her boyfriend of 2 years after he decided her wanted to date someone younger. Of course, it pissed her off. So, she got into a fitness routine and worked for a revenge body. A few months later, she texted him a photo of her in a belly shirt at the gym. He didn’t like it. But, what was he going to do? Break up with her twice?
This might seem like a bold strategy, but, if you truly want him to see what you’re doing and make him miss you, then send him a message or a text. It doesn’t have to be a photo of you looking great. It could just be a “hey, how are you?” friendly text.
At that point, you can reconnect with him and tell him about your life and how well you’re doing. And, learn about what he’s up to. Unless you have a restraining order or it would be totally creepy, there’s nothing wrong with a friendly message reaching out.
Remember, however, that this message should be positive. Connect with him and show him how your life is going. Definitely avoid coming across as needy, sad, or desperate. Don’t tell him you miss him unless he says it first. The goal is to get him to miss you. Then, over time, as he misses you, he will want you back.
If he has no interest and these tactics don’t work, then it’s best just to move on and look elsewhere for love. It’s possible he’s simply moved on and has no interest in renewing a relationship with you. But, these tips should help you make him miss you if he still has even a few feelings remaining.