Now, they know there are many guys who value marriage and relationships. But, that doesn’t matter. These women have strong feelings for one particular guy.
They want to marry him, but they can’t get him to propose, let alone go through with the ceremony. Since they know I offer relationship advice, they come to me wondering how to get him to the altar for a wedding.
If you’re reading this, you must have a man you love and are wondering how to make him want to marry you. As a dating/relationship coach, I’ve worked with numerous men and can give you insights into ways to get them to commit. I’m also going to speak from my perspective as a man.
Men and Freewill
It’s worth mentioning, before I give you tips to get him to propose and marry you, that, as a human being, this guy has freewill. You can’t technically make another human being do something he doesn’t want to, at least not something like marriage.
So, even if you follow the best tips and tactics, it’s no guarantee you’ll succeed. You simply can’t force a guy to commit. And, some men, even if they love you a lot, won’t take that step.
It could be for a variety of reasons. Some guys fear commitment because they’ve been burned in the past. Other men have a low view of marriage either due to the way they were raised or because they’ve been in a bad one. Some men simply enjoy being legally “single” even if they are happy to commit to you for the long haul.
So, while I’ll offer some tips to get a guy to marry you, remember that some men just won’t commit, no matter how hard you try.
Don’t Pressure Him
It’s a common theme from TV and movies: the guy won’t commit, so the woman pushes him to pop the question, usually for laughs. Of course, in the end, he doesn’t mind the pressure and gets married and lives happily ever after.
However, in real life, it doesn’t always work that way. Remember when your teacher bugged you get assignments done? Or how that boss you hated used threats to get everyone to do something? You might have complied, but you certainly weren’t happy about it. The same goes for pressuring a guy into marriage.
People simply don’t respond well to shaming or pressure tactics. How do you feel when someone is on the phone trying to make a sale? That’s how he’ll feel if you’re constantly nagging him about marriage. Don’t be that person or you’ll turn him off of both you and marriage.
Let Him Know It’s Important
Sixty years ago, if you were in a serious relationship, it nearly always ended in marriage or separation. The idea of living together or simply being in a relationship without a wedding was considered absurd. However, today, all of that is different.
You might have noticed that views on marriage have changed. The guy your dating might have come from a divorced family. Maybe all of his friends are divorced. It’s possible he, like many others, simply doesn’t have a great view of marriage.
So, the guy you’re in a relationship with can’t read your mind. If marriage isn’t something he thinks about regularly, then he’s not going to be focused on popping the question.
So, you’ll have to let him know that you value marriage and it’s important to you. Don’t do this by being pushy or nagging. But, you can still express to him clearly that your values involve getting married as a sign of lifetime commitment.
Over time, it’s possible that he could see how important it is to you and come around to that position, as well.
Show Him You’re Worth It
Many guys have dealt with a lot in relationships. It might be cheating, rejection, disappointment, or anything else. They simply worry about making a lifetime spiritual, emotional, and financial commitment to another person.
You’ll have to show your hopefully future husband that you’re different. He needs to know that you are absolutely worth the commitment. So, if you want to be his wife, show him what you’d be like as a wife.
The things men value are kindness, authenticity, empathy, and understanding. Men also like women who are physically attractive. I’m not talking about being a supermodel, but taking care of yourself as best as possible.
Long term relationships are often an audition for marriage. Does he look at you and think “I want to marry this woman?” or does he look at you and think, “I’m not sure if I want to commit to her forever.”
Knowing how to make him want to marry you often means making sure that you’re being your best self so he’ll want to marry you. Ask yourself these and similar questions:
-Do you fight him at every turn or compromise?
-Do you act kindly towards him or harsh?
-Can he count on you in times of need?
-Do you give him the silent treatment?
-Are you dramatic?
Take a look and see if you’re the type worth marrying. If the answer is “no,” then it’s time to work harder to be your best self. This isn’t about changing for him, but about being your best self for both you and your future husband.
Many guys are open to marriage and might even want to marry you. But, they might feel the timing is wrong. Granted, the timing is never perfect. But, if the guy you love feels that it’s too soon, you don’t want to rush him and make him want to break it off.
It’s easy to feel pressure to marry quickly. In fact, surveys show that surprising numbers of people don’t marry for love and don’t consider their partner their soulmate!
Perhaps your parents are asking about grandchildren. Maybe all of your friends are getting engaged. As a result, you feel like your boyfriend should get his act together.
However, is it really fair to expect him to act based on peer pressure? Getting married is a huge commitment. You really don’t want a guy who will rush into it just because everyone else is doing it.
So, as long as he’s being reasonable, don’t try to push him to do something he’s not ready to do. In the end, a guy who waits for a responsible time to do the right thing is better for your long term future anyway.
So, these tips should help you in getting that special someone to want to tie the knot. However, always keep in mind that sometimes you can do everything right…But he’s still not going to commit.