We live in a world of instant communication, which has revolutionized all kinds of relationships. Whether it’s your employer texting you after hours, your mom sending you a photo over Facebook, or confirming your doctor’s appointment via a message, the way we interact with others is radically different than in year’s past.
The biggest type of relationships that texting has changed are romantic ones. No longer are you limited by your local community or certain timeframes. If you want to date a girl, you have theoretical access to her 24/7.
So, if you know how to talk to a girl over text, then you’re going to have a lot more success than someone who can’t string two words together. However, most guys are more in the middle. They are fun, smart, and interesting in real life. But, when it comes to messaging, whether it’s texting, Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, or Snapchat, they have a hard time conveying their real world traits over a screen.
This article will give you general tips to talk to a girl over text to get her to like you (and, eventually date you). It will help you stand out positively from the countless other guys messaging her.
The Time Factor
If a hot girl sat next to you at a bar and started a conversation, you’d have to think on your feet about what to say. The quick thinking required has left many guys either speechless, rambling, or saying things they later regret.
This is one huge advantage of texting: time. You can take your time to craft a well-written, charming, interesting text. If you take advantage of this, you never have to worry about putting your foot in your mouth or saying anything stupid.
So, use this to your advantage. Don’t send impulse texts. Proofread. Take your time composing a text that is witty and makes you look good. You have the advantage of time. Don’t let that go to waste!
In general, women prefer to date intelligent guys. Now, I’m not saying that women are suddenly falling for the intellectual types who have nothing else going for them. But, they certainly do want to date attractive guys who are also intelligent. They just want guys who are intelligent in the sense of quick-witted, charming, and stable vs. guys who know arcane facts.
So, when you’re texting, make sure to show her that you have a basic level of education and intelligence. The key here is some balance. You don’t want to come across as a “know it all” egghead by discussing Socrates and quantum physics. Definitely keep the topics fun and flirty (more on this later). However, make sure to use proper grammar and spelling, at a minimum.
While you certainly want to be intelligent and thoughtful, those traits can also be associated with another adjective: boring. Let’s look at the realities of dating in the world of Tinder and social media: options galore. Sure, you might not have a ton, but guess who does? Beautiful women.
This means that you send a couple of texts to a hot girl. You might as well be going to WalMart at a busy time because you’ll be getting in line. Many women get texted constantly by guys, whether it’s random strangers, guys they met on dating apps, or thirsty acquaintances wanting more than friendship. What makes your text any different?
I followed the texts a friend of mine received for awhile from guys. Over the period of a few weeks, she heard from at least 60 guys, all messaging her to some degree. Most of the messages were “hey,” “hey beautiful,” and “what’s up?” Even if she engaged them, the conversations were as uninspired as their openers.
Over text, too many guys, even fun ones, can appear sterile and bland. When you’re inputting words into a screen, the easiest path is to treat it as something foreign and robotic, rather than as an extension of your personality.
So, you’ll want to convey, through your messaging, that you’re a fun, cool individual. Not knowing how to text a girl over text usually comes down to an inability to make the electronic medium human.
If you’re already a fun, interesting, attractive guy, you just have to show that reality clearly over text. Let the jokes fly, be a little edgy, embrace your inner flirt, and show her your charm. Don’t let the fact you’re using words on a screen hold you back.
If you’re boring in real life, then that presents a bigger problem. However, even then, you can let the best side of your personality show.
Draw Her Into Your World
If your goal is to text a girl with the intention of dating, then you want her to see, through message, that you are an attractive, incredible person worth dating. Remember, the competition is fierce. If you’re not interesting enough, there are likely 5 other guys she’s texting who could be.
So, you’ll want to look at texting a girl you like as a long term strategy. You’ll need to show her not only that you’re a cool, attractive man, but also that she can have a great life if she dates you. You can show her this over text a couple of ways.
First, tell stories of your life that draw her in. For example you might go to concerts, run in interesting places, write cool stuff, or are an accomplished artist. If you can show her this interesting life, and separate yourself from being average, you’ll draw her in. Don’t just share facts, but tell exciting, compelling stories. People love stories and you can appeal to this.
Second, let her know there is a place for her in your life. If you mention a cool concert you went to or talk about your fascinating job, find ways to make her feel invested in that. Tell her how you’d love to take her to a concert in the future or maybe she can come to one of your job’s social events to join in the fun.
The key is to not only tell her what a great life you live, but show her that she can be a big part of it (if she’s lucky).
So, these 4 tips should give you an idea of ways to talk to a girl over text message successfully. While nothing is guaranteed in life, these methods will at least help you stick out positively from the crowd of other guys that message beautiful women.