If You’re Dateless, Stop Trying to Get a Date and Do This Immediately

Above view of running trackJonathan and I regularly speak to groups of men, and also work with clients. We also correspond with people who read our books and ask questions. A lot of guys want to skip straight to the “give me the tricks to make women like me” phase of becoming attractive. Well, I have to be honest. There are no tricks that can make a girl attracted to you if you are fundamentally unattractive.

If a twenty-five year old guy walked up to a golf pro and said, “I have rarely played golf and am horrible at it, now give me the tricks to be a good golfer” the pro would probably laugh, but a lot of guys think the answer to their dating problems lies in learning a few tricks. Learning the tips of great golfers while being a mediocre golfer will get you nowhere.

So, this brings me to my point. If you have been dateless and lonely for years, you need to stop worrying about getting a date for a while. Instead, starting this minute, focus on your physical and mental self-improvement.

Learn how to get fit and actually work out. Learn about positive dietary changes (I prefer lower carb) and make those changes. Learn how to become more dominant, funny, charming, assertive, and relaxed, and practice that. Stop pursuing girls who aren’t attracted to you and focus on becoming more attractive. Spend the time you normally waste learning and applying what you learn.

In short, improve yourself.  Lose the extra thirty pounds. Stop watching so much TV and spend that time learning how to play the guitar or prepare to run a half-marathon.  Stop playing video games and take a class instead. Stop looking at pornography and go out and talk to real women. Stop trying to “get a date with girls” and actually engage them and practice winning them over. Stop posting inane stuff to twitter and read a book.

We have been listing health and fitness tips for a reason recently. Becoming attractive is more than just learning a few tricks. It is fundamentally becoming a person that others admire and want to be around. If you are popular (by our definition), all people want to know you, guys want to be like you (and may even be a little jealous), and women want to be with you. This can’t be accomplished by a few tricks. It can be accomplished, however.

Sometimes guys will say “I want to get girls like [insert favorite sports star, celebrity, etc].” Truthfully, you will get girls like them only when you offer what they offer to the world. If you are in amazing shape, amazing at what you do, funny, charming, admired by a lot of people, etc, then you will get girls like that guy.

Work on yourself. Improve yourself. Get started today.

About David Bennett

David Bennett is author of seven self-help books, and an in-demand speaker and consultant. Over a million readers per year read his online content, and his writings have been referenced in many publications and news outlets, including Girls Life, Fox News, the New York Times, Huffington Post, and BBC. He also writes for The Popular Teen, and other sites. Follow him on Twitter.

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