Throughout my life I’ve met many guys who, for whatever reasons or another, just didn’t like women. Maybe some of your friends or guys you know at work have a hatred for the female sex, or maybe you’ve come across it online.
Men who hate women feel this way for a variety of reasons. We’re going to address a few of those reasons.
Note that this article is not defending all women as perfect, or saying anger against a particular woman (or even multiple women) is a bad thing. So, please don’t waste your time not reading the article, then typing an angry comment that totally is the opposite of what the article is about.
Also, the comments section here isn’t your place to take out all your toxic anger issues and rage. Instead, go lift. Run a mile. See a therapist. Become the attractive person you want to be. And, learn how to become a man who can laugh at female (and male) nonsense instead of letting it control and destroy you (i.e. amused mastery). But, if you have legitimate civil discourse to contribute, we welcome it. We have left up some toxic comments in an effort to highlight the problem.
Should Men Hate All Women?
I don’t believe any reasons are valid for truly hating women as a group. Because if you hate something, that something controls your emotions, and if something controls your emotions, then you aren’t in control of your life.
Notice I’m not saying bad women don’t exist, or that they aren’t deserving of negative emotions. Many people know women who are bitter, angry, dramatic, manipulative, and will take a grudge to an almost irrational extreme. Many people have horrible experiences with their mothers, ex-wives, colleagues, etc.
Women often are passive-aggressive and manipulative, especially in divorce proceedings. Many women are attention seekers and claim to be “independent” when in reality they suck men in their lives dry of every bit of emotional and financial capital. Even women often have disdain for other women. And, hating an individual woman who has wronged you is totally understandable. There are a lot of jerk women out there (See Why Women Can Be Jerks And Losers Too). And, there are plenty of female psychopaths, who operate much more subtly than male ones. Now, that being said…
Applying the behavior of a few women to every woman you meet just shows that the negative women in your life are still controlling your brain. Like I said above, a lot of guys don’t realize that when you hold anger toward all women, women emotionally control you, which is not a sign of strength, but of weakness. While anger is a natural emotion, and necessary for healing and moving on at times, ultimately it is being controlled by your emotions.
So, while a man might have had issues with women in the past, he can’t let that dictate his dealings with women in the present. He just appears angry and weak. And, while women respect cockiness, they don’t respect men with unresolved anger issues towards their sex. Below are a few types of the men who hate women.
The “Love Too Much” Haters
Many men hate females because they’ve been rejected so many times. They absolutely love women. But, they can’t have a woman (especially one they’ve developed a crush on), so they end up feeling resentment towards the entire sex.
Believe it or not, a lot of “nice guys” fall into this category. When their ineffective techniques fail, they feel entitled to a date. And, entitled people end up hating what they can’t get. These beta male women haters have the right impulse (loving women), but can’t get past their bitterness. It’s a “I love her so much that I hate her scenario.”
These guys need to focus more on becoming attractive rather than being angry toward women. Instead of spending time ranting about women loving jerks, or commenting on forums, they should start becoming the type of guy women love. They should start working out (Insanity is an intense workout that we love), learning charisma (check out The Charisma Myth for tips), and learning how women think. Sadly, most guys would rather complain about reality, than adapt to it.
The good news is that women are usually attracted to personality more than looks. So, a guy can change his personality and get over this type of hate.
By the way, I want to add a few words of empathy here. Rejection hurts, especially when it happens constantly. And, many guys have been legitimately hurt by rude and hostile rejections and past relationships.
Still, hating women will only lead to more rejection. You might think you’re hiding your disgust, but you’re not. A guy in this scenario has to take a step back, work on himself, focus on his own needs, then pursue dating with a sense of amused mastery. It’s easier said than done, but it’s necessary.
Momma’s boys sometimes hate women. And, these men are some of the most difficult to deal with. In fact overbearing, controlling moms can mess up guys more than just about any factor.
On the one hand, these males feel a great attachment to their mother. On the other hand, they feel emasculated by their smother, er, mother.
Guys who are attached at their hips to their moms often view women they hope to date and befriend in two ways: an ideal domestic servant or a hated, overbearing oppressor. In some cases, they’ll have these feelings at the same time. Talk about a problem!
God help any woman who dates this guy. No woman can win. A woman is a stereotype and label no matter what she does. Until he breaks free from his mother, she can’t expect anything but misery from him. But, that’s OK because he isn’t leaving his childhood bedroom at his mom’s house any time soon.
Guys With Anger Issues
Some guys are just angry and these dudes also hate many other people, things, and places, typically weaker ones (like the mentally disabled, hamsters, and New Jersey). These guys will happily badmouth all women along with blacks, gays, cats, beautiful people, and anyone else they happen to feel rage towards. Haters gonna hate and these guys aren’t looking to change.
These men need to learn to relax and take it a little easier. And, they need to quit stereotyping all women based on past experiences. Life is way too long to hate everything, although if you experience anger all the time, your life will definitely become decidedly shorter. They are the perfect recipients of the phrase “take a chill pill.” In fact, for these angry young (and old men), the pill should probably be an extra large dose of Valium (or at least Xanax).
The problem is anger feels so good. As Joe Dispenza points out in his excellent book Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself, we become addicted to our negative emotions, including anger, resentment, and bitterness. We get a miniature “high” every time we feel that negative emotion we have become so used to. Even though we know that being bitter and angry isn’t attractive and never works to get our way, many people still become trapped in a cycle of chronic anger.
Guys Who Lose To Women
I mentioned some men hate women women because women have rejected them, but there are also guys who hate women because they lose to them. We guys can be pretty competitive, and while some guys graciously accept a loss to a woman, laugh it off, or resolve to get better (or all three), many men just get resentful.
And, I’m not just referring to losing in gym class. I’m referring to losing to women in their careers and even when women are more popular than they are. They get angry because women “have it so easy,” “are dumber than I am yet still have more friends,” or “get by only on their looks.” And, even if these arguments have merit in particular cases, it’s still not a cause to be bitterly angry.
One recent study even verified this misogyny when studying video games. Men hated women more when they lost to them.
So, there are a few types of men who hate women. If you are a woman, beware. If you’re a man, try not to be like any of these (usually dateless and lonely) guys. Women are human beings. Learn to deal with them and laugh at them like you hopefully can laugh at every other human who isn’t perfect. That will provide the necessary perspective so an entire sex isn’t controlling you.