Our Fatherhood Series

June 7, 2013 By Leave a Comment
father playing with son

Image courtesy of photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

While a lot of our advice seems geared towards single guys, what makes guys attractive is actually universal. In other words, a lot of what makes a guy irresistible to beautiful women makes him attractive to everyone, including other men, young people, his wife, his kids, bosses, etc.

In preparation for Father’s Day 2013 (June 16), we are running a four part series of articles dedicated to helping you become a great father. These tips aren’t your typical parenting advice, which focus on the parent-child interaction.

Rather, we focus on you, the father. We want to help you become an amazing and confident man who can then be a great role model to your kids (and their friends). If you are attractive to your kids in a confident and assertive way, then being a great father is that much easier. These tips will also help you become a better leader and person, as well.

So, check back next week in the days leading up to Father’s Day for parenting advice. You can be a popular, confident, and amazing dad.

We’re also going to be running specials on our book so you can give that man in your life a gift that will make him happier, more successful, and a better parent.

Filed Under: Fatherhood

Make People Feel Good

June 6, 2013 By Leave a Comment
father playing with son

Image courtesy of photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There is a basic principle that will always make you popular.

Make people feel good.

If you make people laugh, smile, and feel romantic attraction, they will want to be around you. If your presence in their life gives them hope and excitement, they will want to be around you.

Popularity really is that simple, although making this happen is more difficult. Why is that guy at work unpopular? Well, he keeps to himself, snaps at people when they make a mistake, and couldn’t say something funny if his life depended on it. Why is his co-worker popular? He is understanding with his co-workers, socializes with others, and his humor neutralizes the stress and monotony of the job? Let’s break each guy’s behavior down:

Guy One: Won’t talk to others, snaps at people, not funny – does not leave people feeling good

Guy Two: Talks to others, is patient with others, and is funny – makes people feel good

 

Obviously there are many ways you can impact a person positively. I suggest making people feel good in a variety of ways, and understanding your audience. Some guys impact a girl positively, but in a friend sort of way, so they aren’t making her feel good in the way that meets their goals (i.e. making her feel good by being romantically attracted).

So, make someone feel good today. Do this every day, and you’ll be amazed how popular you

Filed Under: Career Success, Social Success

How to Be Grateful

June 4, 2013 By Leave a Comment
thank you post it note

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Being grateful has been shown to have many tangible benefits, including better mental health, stronger relationships, higher quality sleep, greater immunity, and more. And yet, even as adults, so many of us just aren’t thankful for what we have. A lack of gratitude seems to be a part of the human condition.

But, it doesn’t have to be. Like with almost anything, we can change our brain and learn to be more thankful about our lives. It may not be the easiest process, but it’s worth it to experience the health (and other) benefits of gratitude. So, without further delay here’s how to be grateful.

Slow Down and Pay Attention

In my experience, a lack of gratitude often stems from a lack of mindfulness. Mindfulness, on a basic level is simply paying attention in the present. For most of us, life becomes a blur, a jumble of deadlines and worry about the past and the future.

Find a way to slow down your life, even if for a few minutes. Spend some time each day meditating or praying. Laugh with family and friends. If you’re at work, get away from the computer and take a walk. Enjoy a few deep breaths.

If you’ve ever watched a science fiction movie you know when the characters travel at warp  speed, everything blurs. Life can be the same way. To be grateful, slow down. You can see more.

Choose to Be Grateful

My brother and Popular Man co-owner, David, always reminds me when I complain about the rain that people pay very good money to get wet at water parks. It’s a good perspective.

In many cases, whether or not an event is good or bad really comes down to perspective. It’s often the case that we can approach an event, person, or anything really, from a grateful or ungrateful perspective.

A couple months ago I was at Tim Hortons having coffee when a woman eating there received the wrong sandwich. She became hostile towards the cashier about the mistake. Although she had a right to get what she paid for, people in some parts of the world would be thrilled just to get food even if it was the “wrong” kind.

Try to develop a perspective of gratitude. Rather than seeing negativity and disappointment, focus on the positive aspects of life instead. This works especially well with people. Find the best in others and you’ll likely have more friends and deeper friendships.

The Mundane Matters Most

It’s easy to be grateful for a promotion, winning money in the lottery, or getting attention from a beautiful girl. It’s harder to be thankful for the more day to day aspects of our lives, some of which we consider routine and maybe even at times aggravating.

However, when it comes to being grateful, the day to day matters the most. It’s very easy to have gratitude about winning the lottery. It’s much harder to be thankful for a mother who has sacrificed for our well-being but still gets on our nerves for several hours a week.

But, a truly grateful mindset involves having gratitude on a daily basis, even in the midst of the annoyances. In fact, it matters the most because that’s where most of our stress comes from.

Write it Down

It’s standard advice to keep a gratitude journal and it’s an important part of knowing how to be grateful. I mention it because it really does change your perspective over time. I’m not going to say a lot about this particular tip because so many other articles on gratitude mention journals.

But, if you have one, then it’s important to actually use it. And, go back from time to time and look at what you’re thankful for, especially if you’re having a very negative or challenging day.

Let Others Know

If you have a great experience at a restaurant do you tell the manager? Probably, you only do that when you need to complain. Have you ever thanked your mom and dad for raising you? Likely you only get mad when they annoy you. Does your awesome boss know you think he’s great? Or do you only complain about the bad bosses?

We have a tendency to focus on the negative while forgetting about all the positive aspects of life (and the people). So, if you are thankful for people, let them know. It doesn’t have to be anything earth shattering. Tell them, write them an email, or send a text. It feels good to be appreciated.

So, hopefully these tips will let you know how to be grateful (or a little more so). Go out and enjoy the benefits of gratitude (and make the world a better place).

Filed Under: Spirituality

Trimming Ear, Nose, and Eyebrow Hair

June 3, 2013 By Leave a Comment
close up of an ear

Notice no hair. He’s young.

This article is for every man interested in grooming and looking his best. However, it is of special importance to older men since, as men age, we tend to get more hair in our ears, noses, and eyebrows. And, I don’t think there’s a person yet who finds bushy eyebrows and overgrown nose hair alluring.

First, guys must recognize there’s a problem. You may not have thought much about hair where it doesn’t belong (or belongs but looks gross). It’s time to start thinking about it if you want to look your best and be physically attractive.

Here’s the problem with excessive ear, nose, and eyebrow hair on guys: it makes you look older and unattractive. In fact, my recollections of this type of hair are of an old teacher from high school who had ear hair so long that it could probably have been braided. OK, it wasn’t that bad, but it was bad.

Also, you may not care about the practical garden of hair coming from your nose, but guess who likely is? If you said the women around you, you’d be correct. For better or for worse, women are more observant than us guys. You may not notice or care about gross hair in facial crevices, but the ladies just might.

Second, you’ll have to take care of the problem. Fortunately, it’s easy. However, let me first talk about what not to do: take matters into your own hands. I tried this and it wasn’t pretty.

I tried yanking out nose hairs. Bad. Painful and leads to infection. I shaved my ear hair. There was no way to do it without cutting my ear. The hair remained and had company with a nice red cut. As for the eyebrows? Well, they looked less bushy, at least in spots. My homemade job was incredibly uneven.

Fortunately, thanks to my brother who gave me a recommendation, I found a solution. Companies actually make three in one products that take care of trimming ear, nose, and eyebrow hair. Fortunately, they’re also very reasonably priced. Here are my favorites:

Wahl 9865-300 Deluxe Groomer Rechargeable Ear, Nose and Eyebrow Trimmer, Chrome
This is a more expensive model (low 30′s USD), but has a light and is rechargeable.

Wahl 3-in-1 nose, ear, and eyebrow hair trimmer
This cheaper alternative will be good for most people. It gets the job done.

Once you get a product, I recommend using it on an “as needed” basis. I take care of the ear hair every couple of weeks on average and the nose hair once a week. I typically trim the eyebrows whenever I see those annoying blonde hairs appear. Each process usually takes less than a minute.

For a one time cost of around twenty to thirty dollars and spending around five minutes of time every couple of weeks, I keep pesky ear, now, and eyebrow hair to a minimum. It’s a small investment to look younger and more attractive.

Filed Under: Fashion Advice, Health and Fitness

Three Easy Ways To Lose Weight Without Doing Much

May 31, 2013 By Leave a Comment

Water pitcherWhen I was in eighth grade I kind of “woke up” and realized I was overweight, out-of-shape, and not very popular with the ladies. I decided it was time to fix the problem. Unfortunately, losing weight was just a “diet” to me, and I quickly gained the weight back. After years of trying this approach, I now view being in shape as a lifestyle issue. Rather than being super-restrictive for a few months a year, only to gain weight back later, I eventually decided to make some small, but significant, changes in my lifestyle that make keeping weight off pretty easy. I have decided to share three easy ones that can have a big impact.

Drink Less Sugar – And More Water

Most Americans consume a lot of calories from sugary drinks. A few cans of pop add 300 calories to your daily intake. A coffee drink can add the same. Over the course of a day, all that sugar adds up to a lot of calories, not to mention playing havoc with your blood sugar…also bad for losing weight. And diet sodas aren’t helpful either. Studies show people make up the calories saved by diet pop with later food, because the sweetness fools our brains into wanting something caloric. So you may not get the sugar calories from that diet cola, but odds are you will eat more at the next meal, or gorge at snack time.

Water is the best solution. Imagine drinking water instead of those two cans of cola. That is 300 calories a day saved, which, if all other calories or activity remain equal, will allow you to lose a pound every two weeks or so, for a loss of around 20 pounds in a year. That’s right: just eliminating sugary drinks, and nothing more, can help you lose those pesky extra pounds. Water also has its own health benefits, and may help you feel full. Another benefit is you will have more money. When you eat out, get water. I eat out about once or twice a week. By getting water, my wife and I save $4.00-$8.00 per week, or $208-$432 per year. That is a decent chunk of change that gives us money to spend on other, more worthwhile things. If you quit buying those twelve packs of pop, you could save an additional $300 per year.

Get A Pedometer – And Get 10,000 Steps a Day

When most people think of exercising, they imagine dragging their out-of-shape bodies to the gym, and suffering tremendously by working out intensely to complete exhaustion, only to wake up sore the next day and give up 2 weeks later. While intense aerobic exercise has many benefits (including increased longevity), for weight loss and commitment purposes, any movement will do. Even fidgeting burns calories (one study showed fidgeters are thinner than non-fidgeters).

One way to keep track of movement is by getting a pedometer. Experts suggest 10,000 steps a day is the way to go for health and weight loss. It may be hard at first, but soon you’ll find yourself doing what it takes to get those extra steps – taking the stairs, parking away from the store, pacing while you talk, taking an evening walk, etc. You’ll find that soon the weight will come off. And, the walking will get you in better shape, and making staying committed to an intense aerobic program easier and more feasible.

Eat More Fiber

Fiber is a group of carbohydrates that some animals can digest, but humans cannot. So, it passes right through the body, providing us with health benefits along the way, such as preventing colon cancer and constipation. Fiber also has the benefit of making us feel full because it fills up the stomach without adding any calories to our diets. Fiber also slows down the digestion of other carbohydrates, thereby decreasing any negative blood sugar reaction associated with high-carb foods.

Unfortunately, most diets are low in fiber. Pizza, fries, and hamburgers are low in fiber. Beans and certain vegetable, fruits, and grains are excellent sources. Probably the easiest way to get fiber is through Metamucil or similar products. I suggest getting the sugar-free product. Each teaspoon has 4 grams of it, with only one non-fiber carbohydrate. This means it is ideal for those trying to lower their carbohydrates. Try to get 25-30 grams a day. By stabilizing your blood sugar and helping you feel full, fiber is an instant helper in your weight loss battle.

Combining these tips could easily result in losing a pound a week. It may seem simple, but these easy tips can result in 50+ pounds in a year. Maybe if you start now, it won’t be in time to show off at the beach this summer, but by Christmas you’ll look like a new person.

Filed Under: Health and Fitness

Why, When, And How To Have Quiet Confidence

May 30, 2013 By Leave a Comment

George ClooneyWe regularly promote traits such as confidence, extroversion and assertiveness, as well as being funny. Clearly, we promote being on the more outgoing side of things. However, there are times I may be in a group and not say much. People that know me in such settings will ask “but don’t you consult and write about confidence – why aren’t you saying more? It is so boring…speak up!”

Admittedly there are times I am either tired or possibly even purposefully reserved. Sometimes I do just want to blend in during an encounter if I have had a busy day, just worked out, or I can get quiet if I just don’t really want to be somewhere.

Talking too much can be a sign of nervousness and social cluelessness, which actually show that you are not confident and attractive. For example, nobody likes the “new guy” at work who comes in and immediately talks the whole lunch break. Nobody likes the guy at a meeting who keeps the thing going 20 minutes longer than necessary. Nobody likes the guy who totally dominates a conversation so that nobody else can say a word.

So as you can see, there are also times when you really should be quiet. This is why you should master the art of quiet confidence, being confident even when you cannot or should not express yourself verbally.

Quiet confidence basically consists of two things: confident body language and being relaxed. Let me further elaborate on these.

Confident Body Language

It is beyond the scope of this article to totally explain confident body language. For a brief primer, check out our book Be Popular Now, which has explanations and some photos. Confidently “holding your space” is a part

Being Relaxed

Part of having confident body language, but worth mentioning separately, is being relaxed. Being relaxed is associated with overall increased attractiveness. Being relaxed is important because it shows confidence. For an example, let’s look at mafia movies. Mafia leaders are often quiet older guys, who just exude confidence. They don’t get worked up. Their nervous underlings get worked up, but not the boss. They don’t have to say a word for you to know they are in charge.

While I am not saying you should look like a mafia boss, I am saying that how you hold yourself during quiet moments is important. Since it is important to have moments when you dont’ talk, you always want to appear relaxed and confident. You will look even more attractive if everyone around you is stressed and in a panic.

 

Filed Under: Career Success, Social Success
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