She Should Try To Impress You

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During college I went on a weekend trip with a campus group. A friend of mine obviously liked one of the girls in the group. He spent the entire trip desperately trying to impress her.

He followed her around, pretended to like her interests, and was annoying to everyone else. In the end, the young lady was equally annoyed and clearly rejected him.

Many men think that if they want to be attractive to women, they have to work to impress the girl. And, this is true in some ways.

Obviously, as we teach pretty much everywhere, a guy needs to be charming, dominant (but not a blowhard), intelligent and high value. And, he must project that to her. In that way, he does have to “impress a girl.”

But, in reality, ultimately, he should want the girl trying to impress him. That’s right. Although it’s a guy’s job to chase the girl in a technical sense, what he really wants is for her to pursue him. This doesn’t typically occur by a girl asking him out. Rather, a girl impresses a guy in much more subtle ways.

For example, if a guy likes a particular type of music or dresses a certain way, then the girl will mold her interests to his. Even if she doesn’t take on his particular style or hobbies, she’ll at least try to build rapport with him by appropriating them in some way. Perhaps she’ll make him a CD of his favorite songs even if she prefers a different genre.

This should occur in the dating dynamic because women are typically more passive in the relationship. So, when they meet a guy they find attractive, they’ll want him to like them back. I’m not speaking sexually here, just in a general sense.

This also is why when guys take on the interests of women those guys fail to attract them. Women expect men to be the more dominant ones in a relationship. So, when a guy starts taking her interests exclusively to win her over, he comes across more feminine, like her girlfriends.

It’s why a man who tries to be like her ends up just being friends even though he shares so much in common with her. It’s not the way the mating game works.

Now, interests are a two way street and a guy will want to build genuine rapport with a woman and take an interest in her, as well. But, he can’t simply take her interests and hope that will win her attraction.

In addition, if you see her taking an interest in you and your hobbies, it’s a good sign of attraction. She probably likes you, at least in some fashion.

About Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett is a writer, speaker, dating expert, and business owner. His articles have been viewed millions of times, and he has been featured in a variety of publications, including the Wall Street Journal.

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