“I would date you if you weren’t that short.”
“Sorry, but I only like guys who are over six feet tall.”
“If you’re too short, swipe left.” (Tinder rejection)
Almost all shorter men (around 5’9″ and below) who’ve tried to get dates or start romantic relationships have heard similar phrases, or seen them online. Every short man can give anecdotal evidence of height-based rejection, even if a girl didn’t specifically mention it.
Statistics and scientific studies say that, when asked, women prefer taller guys too.
This article and hundreds of other articles we have are free, but as you read this, I do want to mention that we have a book specifically for short guys here if you are interested in learning more: Order The Short Man’s Dating Handbook Now To Find Love.
Short Men Dating Tips
Yet, short men dating beautiful women is not impossible, at least if the guy knows what he’s doing! However, a short guy has to approach the dating world in a different way than taller men who (as unfair as it seems) have a natural advantage, especially in many Western countries.
Here are our tips. It draws from the experience of two short guys who have found dating success, as well as using the science of attraction.
Short guys typically have issues with both having and conveying confidence, yet this is a major trait women find attractive. And, this lack of confidence often comes out in unattractive ways. Short men often complain about their “bad luck” or whine about their height.
Sure, you may have good reason to be insecure, and that might be years of being teased about your height. And, gaining confidence isn’t always as easy as saying “be confident.” However, it is essential if you want to get a date. So, you can vent about your height, but don’t do it around women you like. Whether it is fair or not, venting like that is extremely unattractive.
Be confident, self assured, and a little cocky. Fake it if you don’t really have it. David wrote an article, Hey Short Guys: How To Become Taller which explains ways shorter guys can come across as more dominant and confident, and therefore more attractive. Also this article explains the main factor women are looking for in a guy: power. These articles explain confidence in a way that isn’t just telling someone the slogan “be confident.”
And, below, there are some tips to develop things to be confident about. Definitely, be proud and confident of who you are, whatever your height. However…
Don’t Emphasize Your Height
Since few women list short height as an attraction factor, when you’re out meeting them, be confident and proud of who you are, but don’t emphasize your lack of height either.
This isn’t about being ashamed of yourself. Every smart person emphasizes the traits that others prefer when trying to be attractive. It’s why a well-endowed woman might wear a tighter shirt, but an obese man with a gut could do the exact opposite.
Wear shoes with a heel, don’t wear clothes that make you look shorter (like pleated pants), and if you go out with girls who are your friends, ask them to wear flats. You might even want to consider buying lifts to put in your shoes when you go out. However, only add about an inch or less, especially if you plan on taking them off around a girl or even friends.
Unfair? Maybe. But, these are society’s rules. If you want dates you have to play by them. Instead, draw attention instead to the fact that you…
Have Great Physical Looks
Being short is a dating disadvantage, but everyone has disadvantages, even tall guys. If you’re short, you’ll need to have other things going for you physically to overcome the lack of height. You want your first impression when meeting a woman to be something other than “he’s too short.”
This means do everything else right physically. Lose weight, get in shape, dress fashionably, keep your hair by using anti-baldness medication, etc. When a girl sees you, let her first thought be “I know he’s shorter than I typically like, but boy he’s got a great body” or “He’s kind of short, but he’s so hot!”
Don’t Get Rattled
Short guys often hear crap about their height when dealing with women. In some cases, they may mean it, but not always. In many cases, it’s just a test. They want to see how you react. If you get sad or nervous or angry, you’ve failed. If you’re cool and show you don’t care, you pass.
Are these tests a huge pain? Yes, but all guys get them. And these tests are a part of dating women, especially the prettier ones. They’re trying to weed out the losers. Don’t be a loser.
A good response to short related comments would be “it’s not really about my height, but how awesome I am” or “That’s cool. I respect that. But, honestly you’re one of the few women I date who cares.” I always like “Well, you’re too (old, young, tall, short) for me, but I’m willing to give you a chance anyway.”
With the last one especially make sure it doesn’t come across as sarcastic or mean spirited. And only use it if she’s being nasty.
Whatever you say in response, make sure it shows that you absolutely do not care about her comment and your shortness.
Be High Value
Mel Gibson isn’t terribly tall and neither is Tom Cruise. But, do you think they get turned down much for dates? Probably not (well maybe they do today because of their recent escapades). It’s because no woman will turn down a high value man, even if he’s short.
Short men dating need to realize that they must raise their value (or project it better). Find a way to earn more money, become a manager or owner of a company, get insanely fit, learn to play an instrument well, etc. Raise your “value” and you will be more attractive to women at any height. And you’ll be more confident too.
Beware of Online Dating
Short guys, except for the most accomplished daters, probably shouldn’t use online dating. Here’s why. Most dating sites list heights. And, women typically have, at least in theory, height standards.
So, short dudes have two bad options. They are honest and women immediately reject them based on a number (before even seeing or engaging their profile). They lie and the “in person” date is a problem.
In person, you can impress the woman with your charm and high value traits. However, on a profile, women will likely see you as just a height they don’t prefer.
The best choice is to always meet women in person. Or, if you meet them online, find a way to charm and wow them immediately, so they can’t focus on your alleged height limitations. Have a witty profile. Send them messages that are funny and cocky. Be original and valuable so they know you’re not just a number they (supposedly) don’t like.
Also, add an inch or so to your height. Is it lying? Maybe, but I promise you most of the women on there are subtracting weight from their official numbers. If you are high value enough (funny, charming, good-looking), I promise you women will forgive your height discrepancy when they meet you, if they even notice it at all. Play the game short guys!
So, I hope this advice is helpful and lead you to romantic success. Don’t let your height be an excuse any longer!
Once again, if you are interested in learning a lot more, check out Size Doesn’t Matter: The Short Man’s Handbook of Dating And Relationship Success, and be sure to browse the hundreds of free articles we have on this website as well.