Short Men Dating: Tips For Success

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“I would date you if you weren’t that short.”

“Sorry, but I only like guys who are over six feet tall.”

“If you’re too short, swipe left.” (Tinder rejection)

Almost all shorter men (around 5’9″ and below) who’ve tried to get dates or start romantic relationships have heard similar phrases, or seen them online. Every short man can give anecdotal evidence of height-based rejection, even if a girl didn’t specifically mention it.

Statistics and scientific studies say that, when asked, women prefer taller guys too.

This article and hundreds of other articles we have are free, but as you read this, I do want to mention that we have a book specifically for short guys here if you are interested in learning more: Order The Short Man’s Dating Handbook Now To Find Love.

Short Men Dating Tips

Yet, short men dating beautiful women is not impossible, at least if the guy knows what he’s doing! However, a short guy has to approach the dating world in a different way than taller men who (as unfair as it seems) have a natural advantage, especially in many Western countries.

Here are our tips. It draws from the experience of two short guys who have found dating success, as well as using the science of attraction.

Develop Confidence

Short guys typically have issues with both having and conveying confidence, yet this is a major trait women find attractive. And, this lack of confidence often comes out in unattractive ways. Short men often complain about their “bad luck” or whine about their height.

Sure, you may have good reason to be insecure, and that might be years of being teased about your height. And, gaining confidence isn’t always as easy as saying “be confident.” However, it is essential if you want to get a date. So, you can vent about your height, but don’t do it around women you like. Whether it is fair or not, venting like that is extremely unattractive.

Be confident, self assured, and a little cocky. Fake it if you don’t really have it. David wrote an article, Hey Short Guys: How To Become Taller which explains ways shorter guys can come across as more dominant and confident, and therefore more attractive. Also this article explains the main factor women are looking for in a guy: power. These articles explain confidence in a way that isn’t just telling someone the slogan “be confident.”

And, below, there are some tips to develop things to be confident about. Definitely, be proud and confident of who you are, whatever your height. However…

Don’t Emphasize Your Height

Since few women list short height as an attraction factor, when you’re out meeting them, be confident and proud of who you are, but don’t emphasize your lack of height either.

This isn’t about being ashamed of yourself. Every smart person emphasizes the traits that others prefer when trying to be attractive. It’s why a well-endowed woman might wear a tighter shirt, but an obese man with a gut could do the exact opposite.

Wear shoes with a heel, don’t wear clothes that make you look shorter (like pleated pants), and if you go out with girls who are your friends, ask them to wear flats. You might even want to consider buying lifts to put in your shoes when you go out. However, only add about an inch or less, especially if you plan on taking them off around a girl or even friends.

Unfair? Maybe. But, these are society’s rules. If you want dates you have to play by them. Instead, draw attention instead to the fact that you…

Have Great Physical Looks

Being short is a dating disadvantage, but everyone has disadvantages, even tall guys. If you’re short, you’ll need to have other things going for you physically to overcome the lack of height. You want your first impression when meeting a woman to be something other than “he’s too short.”

This means do everything else right physically. Lose weight, get in shape, dress fashionably, keep your hair by using anti-baldness medication, etc. When a girl sees you, let her first thought be “I know he’s shorter than I typically like, but boy he’s got a great body” or “He’s kind of short, but he’s so hot!”

Don’t Get Rattled

Short guys often hear crap about their height when dealing with women. In some cases, they may mean it, but not always. In many cases, it’s just a test. They want to see how you react. If you get sad or nervous or angry, you’ve failed. If you’re cool and show you don’t care, you pass.

Are these tests a huge pain? Yes, but all guys get them. And these tests are a part of dating women, especially the prettier ones. They’re trying to weed out the losers. Don’t be a loser.

A good response to short related comments would be “it’s not really about my height, but how awesome I am” or “That’s cool. I respect that. But, honestly you’re one of the few women I date who cares.” I always like “Well, you’re too (old, young, tall, short) for me, but I’m willing to give you a chance anyway.”

With the last one especially make sure it doesn’t come across as sarcastic or mean spirited. And only use it if she’s being nasty.

Whatever you say in response, make sure it shows that you absolutely do not care about her comment and your shortness.

Be High Value

Mel Gibson isn’t terribly tall and neither is Tom Cruise. But, do you think they get turned down much for dates? Probably not (well maybe they do today because of their recent escapades). It’s because no woman will turn down a high value man, even if he’s short.

Short men dating need to realize that they must raise their value (or project it better). Find a way to earn more money, become a manager or owner of a company, get insanely fit, learn to play an instrument well, etc. Raise your “value” and you will be more attractive to women at any height. And you’ll be more confident too.

Beware of Online Dating

Short guys, except for the most accomplished daters, probably shouldn’t use online dating. Here’s why. Most dating sites list heights. And, women typically have, at least in theory, height standards.

So, short dudes have two bad options. They are honest and women immediately reject them based on a number (before even seeing or engaging their profile). They lie and the “in person” date is a problem.

In person, you can impress the woman with your charm and high value traits. However, on a profile, women will likely see you as just a height they don’t prefer.

The best choice is to always meet women in person. Or, if you meet them online, find a way to charm and wow them immediately, so they can’t focus on your alleged height limitations. Have a witty profile. Send them messages that are funny and cocky. Be original and valuable so they know you’re not just a number they (supposedly) don’t like.

Also, add an inch or so to your height. Is it lying? Maybe, but I promise you most of the women on there are subtracting weight from their official numbers. If you are high value enough (funny, charming, good-looking), I promise you women will forgive your height discrepancy when they meet you, if they even notice it at all. Play the game short guys!

So, I hope this advice is helpful and lead you to romantic success. Don’t let your height be an excuse any longer!

Once again, if you are interested in learning a lot more, check out Size Doesn’t Matter: The Short Man’s Handbook of Dating And Relationship Success, and be sure to browse the hundreds of free articles we have on this website as well.

About Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett is a writer, speaker, dating expert, and business owner. His articles have been viewed millions of times, and he has been featured in a variety of publications, including the Wall Street Journal.


  1. Having a successful relationship does not measured on how tall or short you are. Its about love, understanding, and trust.

  2. This blog made me think of my early 20’s, as I was rejected by the foxes who chased after the Alfa males and showed no more interest in me than glancing at a blade of grass next to the highway traveling at 75 MPH. And this made me think about my own personal experiences with tall women, a slightly different story from this blog, but same result due to being a Beta male.

    One 6’ tall girl, in a gym, talked to me with such a look of disinterested she couldn’t have looked or acted more uninterested if she had wanted to. I approached another, who I estimated being 5 foot 9 or 10 inches. She got angry with me for even asking her out and stuck her finger in my face informing me she didn’t date shorter men. On line, I met a girl 5’11”, and we worked out together once in my apartment complex gym, after that she did not return my two phone calls, there could be others, too, I just don’t remember them all. Now, you may say the rejections were because of my looks, that could be true, but as I approached girls closer to my height, my success rate went way up.

    This blog also made me think about the rejections by tall girls, and it angered me, but not at the time the rejection. Only years later, when I actually tallied them up, did I get angry. I was rejected not because I was fat, bald, ugly, deformed or had a rotten personality. No. The reason I was rejected by all of these women was my height. Not a one even bothered to put forth the effort to get to know me much less date me.

    I did date three women who were significantly taller than me, two at 5’11” and one at 5’10”. (I am 5’8”) And all three happened to be 32 years of age, which is more than a coincidence and a tie in with this blog. No doubt all three wanted a tall Alfa male, and lost, so a safe stable Beta male was the next best thing in their 30’s, for I certainly didn’t grow any taller and I doubt I got better looking. These women were past their prime and worried. I was in my late 30’s, at this time of my life, after being married for 10 years. It was also at this time, I could easily date younger women, and I did. When I was 38, my first girlfriend was 27, the next was 27 and the next was 24 who became my second wife. I never dated with any intent of marrying a woman my age. Younger women had no issue with me dating them, and I certainly had no issue dating them. I remember going to singles events and seeing very pretty women, who were my age, who I know 15 years earlier would not have given me the time of day. And even now, they may have looked better than myself, but now it was me who had no interest in approaching them. I did not want to take time and money away from pursuing younger women. Why go old, when I could go young? I was amazed how the dating game changed in my favor. And I used it to my advantage, just as women had done years earlier.

    I am now married and have 4 sons. I have 3 degrees, and I have co-authored 2 US patents. I could have provided a good life to any girl. I wanted a taller girl because of the physical turn on and to for fill one of my desires, yet not one single tall girl (in her 20’s) gave me a chance. I was turned down consistently and without a second thought. (Maybe due to the Alfa male fascination) So, if you find yourself in your late 20’s or early 30’s with no prospect of a husband or children in the immediate future, you have no one to blame but yourself. There were men like me, who wanted a leggy female, but they, like me, were never accorded the opportunity. (This also applies to average height women, too) And the reality is that the vast majority of tall women will not even consider a shorter man (and Beta males) until it is too late. You would think it would be obvious that if you included shorter males (and Beta males) in your suitor selection, your odds would increase of finding a mate. There are a lot more short and medium height males than there are taller ones. So my advice would be to accept the advances of all men and get to know them. I, who would have relished the opportunity of having curvy broad hips and a tapered waist to hold all night and to make love to into the early hours of the morning, was never, not once, even given a chance to start a relationship. Throw away the yardstick, for you may find someone like me, who would love to share his life and love with a tall girl.

    By the way, another tie in with this article and be found at this web site.
    This writer tell about his rejections in his 20’s by women only to find that women now chased after him, in spite of his height, now he is in his early 30’s. He warns of the dangers of the “Reformed Heightest Woman” who are desperate after wasting their life chasing the Alfa male and now want a stable Beta with a steady pay-check.
    Here is anther on how women who found the Mr. Average (Beta Males) were worth nothing in their 20’s and now that these women are in their 30’s can’t buy a date, even from the Beta Males

    Why women lose in the dating game
    During their 20s, women compete for the most highly desirable men, the Mr Bigs. Many will readily share a bed with the sporty, attractive, confident men, while ordinary men miss out. As Whiskey puts it at ”Joe Average Beta Male is about as desirable to women as a cold bowl of oatmeal.”
    ”I can’t believe how many men my age are only interested in younger women,” wails Gail, a 34-year-old advertising executive as she describes her first search through men’s profiles on the RSVP internet dating site. She is shocked to find many mid-30s men have set up their profiles to refuse mail from women their own age.
    Talking to many women like her, it’s intriguing how many look back on past relationships where they let good men get away because they weren’t ready. American journalist Kate Bolick wrote recently in The Atlantic about breaking off her three-year relationship with a man she described as ”intelligent, good-looking, loyal and kind”. She acknowledged ”there was no good reason to end things”, yet, at the time, she was convinced something was missing in the relationship. That was 11 years ago. She’s is now 39 and facing grim choices.

    Then there is the true hate monger as found at this site.

  3. You got a really useful blog I have been here reading for about an hour. I am a newbie and your success is very much an inspiration for me.

  4. This was a useful post and I think it is rather easy to see from the other comments as well that this post is well written and useful. I bookmarked this blog a while ago because of the useful content and I am never being disappointed. Keep up the good work.


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