“Tall guys only!”
“I would date you, but you’re just too short.”
Almost all shorter men (around 5’9″ and below) have heard similar phrases, or seen them online. Statistics and scientific studies back up this information too: women prefer taller guys too.
Before I continue, I want to mention that I, a short man, have written a book specifically for short guys if you’re interested in learning more: Order The Short Man’s Dating Handbook Now To Find Love.
Short Men And Dating: It Can Suck
It seems like the odds are stacked against you as a short man. And, that’s true. It’s harder to get dates when you’re shorter than average. But, getting dates isn’t impossible for short guys. Many short guys date beautiful women and get into long lasting and fulfilling relationships.
But, in spite of that good news, dating as a short man can suck. The reality is that short guys have to work harder and be extra attractive compared to their taller friends. This is because being tall is an indicator of attraction in and of itself. Think of Bingo. The “free” space gives you an advantage. Tall guys have a built in advantage just for existing. You don’t. But, that’s OK.
Short Men Dating Tips
We have had success in dating and relationships (both short and long term) and are going to share our tips. Not only do we draw from our own experience, but also the science of dating and attraction.
Short guys often lack confidence or have trouble conveying it. It makes sense because short men are often bullied and put down for something outside of their control (height). Yet, women love confidence. And, they find insecurity very unattractive.
Sure, you may have good reason to be insecure and angry especially if you’ve been teased or rejected based on your height. And, gaining confidence isn’t as easy as saying “be confident.” However, it is essential if you want to get a date.
First, don’t whine or complain about your height around women you like. Don’t vent or complain about their height preferences or call them out in person. You can vent, but do it around guy friends or with your therapist. Whining and complaining are unattractive to women because it makes you look weak and insecure.
Second, develop confidence or fake it if you don’t really have it. David wrote an article, Hey Short Guys: How To Become Taller which explains ways shorter guys can come across as more dominant and confident, and therefore more attractive. Also this article explains the main factor women are looking for in a guy: power. These articles go beyond the empty slogan “be confident.”
Confidence mainly comes through self-improvement and achievement. If you want to be confident, then become a more excellent person. Here are a few examples of confidence boosting activities: get fit, take on leadership positions, dress better, take up a valuable hobby (like becoming a musician), learn the martial arts.
Don’t Emphasize Your Height
Since few women list short height as an attraction factor, be confident and proud of who you are, but don’t emphasize your lack of height either. This isn’t about being ashamed of yourself. Every smart person emphasizes the traits that others prefer in attraction. It’s basic marketing. It’s why a well-endowed woman might wear a tighter shirt, but an obese man with a gut could do the exact opposite.
Wear shoes with a heel, avoid clothes that make you look shorter (like pleated pants). You might even want to consider buying lifts to put in your shoes when you go out. However, only add about an inch or less, especially if you plan on taking them off around a girl or even friends.
Definitely don’t make self-deprecating jokes about your height or take the bait if she brings up your height. Own it if the topic comes up (see below), but don’t dwell on it.
Look The Best
Being short is a dating disadvantage, but everyone has disadvantages, even tall guys. If you’re short, have other things going for you physically. You want your first impression when meeting a woman to be something other than “he’s too short.”
This means do everything else right physically. Lose weight, get in shape, dress fashionably, keep your hair by using anti-baldness medication, etc. When a girl sees you, let her first thought be “I know he’s shorter than I typically like, but boy he’s got a great body” or “He’s kind of short, but he’s so hot!” Yes, women think this way.
Don’t Get Rattled
Short guys often hear crap about their height when dealing with women. In many cases, it’s just a test. They want to see how you react. If you get sad or nervous or angry, you’ve failed. If you’re cool and show you don’t care, you pass.
Are these tests a huge pain? Yes, but all guys get them. And these tests are a part of dating women, especially the prettier ones. They’re trying to weed out the losers. Don’t be a loser.
A good response to short related comments would be “it’s not really about my height, but how awesome I am” or “Most women I date don’t even care.” I always like “You’re a little (older, younger, taller, shorter) than I usually date, but I’m willing to see what happens.”
With the last one especially, make sure it doesn’t come across as sarcastic or mean spirited. Whatever you say in response, make sure it shows that you absolutely do not care about her comment and your shortness.
Be High Value
Mel Gibson isn’t terribly tall and neither is Tom Cruise. But, do you think they get turned down much for dates? Probably not (well maybe they do today because of their recent escapades). It’s because no woman will turn down a high value man, even if he’s short.
Short men dating need to realize that they must raise their value (or project it better). Find a way to earn more money, become a manager or owner of a company, get insanely fit, learn to play an instrument well, etc. Raise your “value” and you will be more attractive to women at any height. Tallness is a value. Ramp up your value in ways that aren’t genetic.
Beware of Online Dating
Most dating sites list heights. And, women typically have, at least in theory, height standards. So, short dudes have two bad options. They are honest and women immediately reject them based on a number (before even seeing or engaging their profile). They lie and the “in person” date is a problem.
The best choice is to meet women in person. Or, if you meet them online, find a way to charm and wow them immediately, so they can’t focus on your alleged height limitations. Have a witty profile. Send them messages that are funny and cocky. Be original and valuable so they know you’re not just a number they (supposedly) don’t like.
Also, add an inch or so to your height (but no more). Is it lying? Maybe, but I promise you most of the women on there are subtracting weight from their official numbers. If you are high value enough (funny, charming, good-looking), women will forgive your height discrepancy when they meet you, if they even notice it at all. Play the game short guys!
Once again, if you are interested in learning a lot more, check out Size Doesn’t Matter: The Short Man’s Handbook of Dating And Relationship Success, and be sure to browse the hundreds of free articles we have on this website as well.