One of my clients was having issues with a girl he wanted to date. She wasn’t really responding much to his texts. He was confused and asked my advice. Another client really liked a girl and didn’t want to come across as needy. He didn’t text her each day and she seemed to be getting upset about it.
Both of my clients came from different places, but ultimately they were asking the same basic question: should I text her everyday?
Now’s a good time to take our entertaining and informative “What Is Your Dating/Relationship Texting Style” Quiz. See if your texting style is holding you back!
The answer to that question is complicated because of differing circumstances. So, if you’re texting a girl you like, this article will help you understand when you should text the girl everyday and when you definitely shouldn’t. Let’s start with the negative example.
When You Shouldn’t Text Everyday
Let me start with the times you definitely don’t want to text a girl everyday. If you’re texting her daily under these conditions, you’ll need to reevaluate your texting habits.
You’re Friend Zoned
My client in the first sentence liked the girl he was texting, but she considered them just friends. He desperately texted her each day while she just responded when she felt like it, usually just enough to keep him happy.
If you’re not dating the girl, then why are you texting her all the time? It’s probably because you like her more than she likes you. If she’s not returning your romantic feelings, then you need to find someone who shares them. Texting her everyday is just a waste of your attention that could go elsewhere.
She Doesn’t Text You
A friend of mine liked a girl who didn’t feel the same way. He’d message her everyday, but she’d take forever to respond. Sometimes she’d go several days without so much as responding to him. He’d double text a girl and even triple text her while she gave him nothing but crumbs.
If you text her a lot and she barely replies, then don’t bother wasting your time. If you’re having to double text or beg for attention, you’re putting way more effort into the relationship than she is. You’re more invested and need to set some boundaries. Save your attention for someone else!
Have you ever met girls who, when you text something interesting and exciting, respond with “K” or “Cool.” I’ve met a woman like that and she’s just super boring.
Should I text her everyday? Heck no! I’m not boring. If you’re a fun, cool, interesting guy too, why would you message boring girls? If they aren’t putting effort at being fun into text, you shouldn’t give them your best attention.
When You Should Text Her Everyday
There are times when you’ll want to text a girl daily and give her a lot of your attention. Here are those moments.
She’s Your Girlfriend
If you are dating a girl in some capacity (or working on that goal), whether it’s as your girlfriend, someone you see regularly, or anything else romantic, then by all means, text her everyday.
The key here is that the relationship is what you want it to be. If she’s making you happy and you’re satisfied with her as a friend, girlfriend, or other type of partner, then don’t hold back!
My second client found a woman who clearly liked him a lot and was very attentive. He would text and she’d reply with fun, flirty messages. While he certainly didn’t want to come across as needy, texting a woman each day isn’t needy if she’s attracted to you!
If the texting conversation is an equal, two way relationship, then it’s not needy or desperate to engage her regularly. This article can help you determine if you’re needy.
In fact, if you want to keep her attention and keep her from falling for other guys, then you definitely should regularly engage her over text.
Lots of guys make the mistake of assuming they shouldn’t text often so that they can supposedly make the girl desire them more. While you don’t want to be at her constant beck and call, responding on a timely basis will keep her attention focused right where you want it: on you!
I used to date a girl who was really fun and exciting. In person, she was funny, flirty, and very passionate. She conveyed a lot of that over text too. Everyone wanted to be around her and texting was another way to experience her charm. Of course, I felt like messaging her regularly.
If the girl you like is entertaining, funny, cool, interesting, likes to send pics, and so on, then by all means text her everyday!
Text When You Want
You might text her for many reasons like neediness, desperation, fear of losing her, or obligation. Those are all bad reasons to text any woman, whether it’s daily, hourly or even weekly.
If you sincerely want to text her because you like her, she’s giving you what you want, or she’s a cool person, then the best advice is to trust your instinct and just message her!
But, you need to be honest with yourself. Many guys don’t know their true motives and they’re actually driven by being horny, needy, or desperate. But, if you can honestly say that you want to text, then the question becomes a lot less complicated. If you’re authentic, trust yourself and you’re good!