And, although she’s too polite to tell them to “go away” her efforts to show them she’s not interested simply don’t work.
Part of the problem is that many guys have a hard time reading a woman’s signs. They can’t always tell if a woman likes them or they have the opposite problem: knowing the signs a girl is not interested.
In this article, I’m going to detail the indicators she doesn’t like you. However, remember that if you see these signs a girl isn’t interested, don’t think it’s the end of the world. There will be other women out there you can pursue. In fact, knowing when a girl doesn’t like you is key: you can save time to pursue those who actually want your attention and affection!
Body Language Signs
Even if a girl is shy and passive, you can still read her body language to see how she feels about you, whether she is interested in you or not.
Even if a woman is being polite to you with her words, there’s a good chance her body is telling you exactly how she feels about you! If you’re interacting with her in person, pay careful attention to her body.
I remember a girl I tried to date in high school. I got closer to her and tried to put my arm around her. She pulled away. It was a pretty cringey moment. But, it was clear she didn’t like me!
Not all women will be so obvious. But, you can see subtle examples of her pulling away. For example, if you lean in, she slightly leans back or refuses to mirror your body and lean in too.
This also can be seen in her avoiding general closeness. For example, if she keeps a lot of distance between the two of you, then she probably isn’t interested in you, at least romantically.
I’m sure you remember getting lectured by a teacher when you were younger. Chances are you crossed your arms and pulled back. It was a sign that she was annoying you and you wanted to be anywhere else but hearing her crap.
Body blocking is the way people block out what they don’t like. So, if you’re talking to a girl somewhere and she resorts to body blocking, then it’s a sign she’s not interested in you. If her blocking body language is strong, then she’s basically telling you to go away.
So, if you see a woman with crossed arms and legs when you’re talking to her, she’s giving you a subtle hint she’s not into you. Women can also block with objects, like a computer or a coffee cup. If she’s putting something between the two of you, be aware of this.
Lack of Eye Contact/Staring
If the girl is avoiding eye contact with you, then she isn’t interested. Avoiding eye contact can mean looking away while you’re talking to her to being distracted, like focusing on her phone. Regardless, if she won’t look you in the eye, it’s a problem.
Lack of Engagement
If you’ve ever had a girl who loves you, you’ll know that she hangs on your every word and can’t get enough of you. If you haven’t experienced that, look at passionate couples in public and how the women interact with their boyfriends.
But, one clear sign a girl isn’t interested is the opposite effect: she either doesn’t engage you or does so minimally.
In person, this means short, abrupt replies and lack of followup questions. So, if you talk to a girl at a club and she just sits there and says one or two word answers to your efforts at conversation, she’s telling you to bug off.
On text, this lack of engagement comes in the form of taking a long time to answer and one word or short replies.
She might be too nice to cut you off completely, but she’s trying her best to give you a hint: either she’s not interested at all or she’s keeping you at a distance.
She Drops Hints/Makes Excuses
As mentioned previously, if you’re dealing with a nice woman, she’s going to be hesitant to truly reject you. This is also the case if you’re trying to get to know someone who has to be in your life to a degree: a co-worker, fellow student, or a girl in your friend group.
Consequently, a woman will sometimes try to “soft” reject you by trying to put you off through excuses and hints.
Typically, the hints will come in the form of reaffirming how great of a friend you are or talking a lot about other guys she’s dating or interested in. She’s trying to tell you that she doesn’t look at you in a romantic way.
Excuses are another strong sign she’s not interested in you sexually or romantically. If you’re constantly inviting her places or asking her to do things, ask yourself: how does she respond?
In university, I liked a girl who always had laundry to do. I’d ask her to lunch: laundry. I’d see if she wanted to get coffee: laundry. Go on a hike? Laundry. I swore that she must’ve done laundry everyday!
Of course, the reality was that she just wasn’t that interested in me. I know this because she ended up dating someone else around the same time. She wasn’t doing laundry; she just was giving me excuses.
I tell this story as a funny anecdote, but I hope you can see how clueless I was. I wanted to believe she had a ton of laundry, but couldn’t ultimately handle the truth.
You’ll need to honestly look at her body language, level of engagement, and possible hints and excuses. If you see these, it’s best to accept the truth she’s not interested.
Could she be into you later? It’s certainly possible. But, you don’t want to give your best time and energy to a woman who doesn’t like you back. You can certainly be her friend, but keep your options open.
These tips should help you get a good idea of indicators she’s not interested in you. Remember that there are other fish in the sea. Go out and find them!