When I was in university, I went to the movies with a girl who clearly liked me. I know that now, but, at the time I was clueless. After giving me all sorts of hints in the dark theater, I still wouldn’t make a move, by grabbing her hand or kissing her.
She finally got frustrated and told me that we should just be friends. It made sense: I was acting like a freaking friend!
I look back on that story and cringe, but moments like that led me to get my act together and pursue my career at The Popular Man. I’m reliving it so that you can learn from my ridiculousness.
Even though we live in the age of independent women, guys are still expected to make the first move. So, typically she’s going to drop the hints and you’re going to have to make the first move. You might not like it, but it’s reality.
However, you don’t have to be clueless like me. While there aren’t crystal clear guidelines, there will be strong signs a girl wants you to make a move. If you see these indicators, especially several of them, you can act with more certainty.
Body Language Signs
Women can be difficult to understand partly because they play hard to get. So, she might be giving you mixed signals and you don’t know what to think! This is where body language comes in handy.
Body language is done mostly subconsciously. So, watching what she does with her body will allow you to see her true intentions, even if she’s playing coy with her words.
Open and Engaging
The first step of seeing if she likes you is to look at her behavior when she’s around you. If she’s open, as in open arms, uncrossed legs, and relaxed, then she’s clearly comfortable with you.
Look for a high level of open and engaging body language, like leaning in, making eye contact, and not slouching when you’re talking to her.
When a girl likes you, she will orient her body towards you, a phenomenon called “pointing.” Typically girls will point with their navels, their legs, and their feet. Both men and women will point towards people they find attractive.
Pay attention to pointing when you’re in a large group. If she is pointing her hips and/or legs in your direction, even while engaging everyone else, then her subconscious body language is gravitating towards you.
Touching and Proximity
Does she touch your arm? Does she massage your shoulders for a few seconds? If you’re showing her something on your phone, does she lean in closely, getting almost inappropriately close?
These are all subtle, but clear indicators that she is interested in you in some capacity. If she comes out and kisses you then you don’t even need to make a move! She did it for you.
Gives You Permission
When I was talking to the girl I took to the movies, she told me how a friend of hers wanted her to model for him. He joked that he wouldn’t mind her doing some clothes-free photos. She laughed it off, but told me she’d happily let me take those photos of her.
Yes, I was a total idiot. Even with that gigantic sign that she liked me, I still held back from making a move, second guessing myself!
You’re probably laughing at my cluelessness. But, you know that in the moment, it’s easy to doubt, overthink, and second guess yourself at every moment.
If she drops hints that she could see herself doing something romantic and sexual with you, that’s a huge sign she wants you to actually do it. Yes, she’s basically giving you permission to make a move on her.
Flirting is the silent language of sexual attraction. On a basic level, flirting is joking around and having fun with someone you find attractive. Women will typically smile a lot, giggle, touch their hair, and touch you when they’re flirting.
If your conversations are fun and flirty with sexual tension, then it’s a good indicator she is attracted to you. Keep in mind, however, that some women flirt with almost anyone just for attention. So, if she does it with everyone, you might not be special.
Time And Attention
Whenever my clients ask me if a girl likes them, I always ask the level of attention she gives them. If it’s a lot, the signs are good she likes them. If they get her scraps and leftovers, then not so much. We pay attention to what we like. It’s that simple.
Of course, giving you attention could simply be a sign of friendship. However, if you’re getting her best time and attention, then it probably means she likes you more. This not only includes attention in real life, but also social media.
For example, when you text her does she text right back? When you ask her out does she say “yes” instantly? Is she always laughing at your jokes and taking interest in your activities and hobbies? If you’re getting that level of attention, she almost certainly likes you as more than a friend…and wants you to make some kind of move.
Compare Yourself To Her Guy Friends
If you’re looking for signs she wants you to make a move, compare yourself to her guy friends. Look at how she interacts with them vs. how she treats you.
If she treats you and them the same, then there’s little chance she finds you romantically attractive. But, if she treats you differently, interacting with you in a more sexual, flirtatious manner, then you can be pretty sure she is after you…and wants you to take it to the next level.
Making the Move: What to do?
If you see the signs she wants you to make a move, read the situation carefully. If you barely know her, your “move” might just be to put your arm around her or grab her hand. From that point, you can escalate to more, like kissing or making out.
Just remember, that some women will want to move more slowly. So, if she lets you hold your hand, but rejects your kiss, don’t get upset. Go back to holding her hand and get to know her better. Maybe later in the evening or at another time, she’ll let you kiss her or do even more.
The key is to build comfort with her never try to push yourself on her. If you’re attractive, she trusts you, and she gives you the signs, then you can make your move comfortably and securely knowing that you both clearly want it.
So, don’t be a fool like I was in university. If you’re getting the signs she likes you, then make that move! You’ll both be happier for it. And, if she rejects you, then get better at reading the signs. There are other fish in the sea who will like you.