You meet a girl and find her attractive. You find out she has a boyfriend, so you back off. However, she continues to give you extra attention and flirt. You get a gut feeling that she actually likes you more than she likes her boyfriend! In fact, many times she’ll badmouth her boyfriend to you! Confused? You’re not alone.
I used to assume that women who were “taken” had to be madly in love with their boyfriends. The reality is more complicated. People stay in relationships for many reasons, not all of them having to do with love and attraction. Some people stay out of habit, because they need a place to live, or they feel they can’t do any better. Many of these women would dump their boyfriend if they had another option. As one survey showed, a large chunk of people don’t even marry for love!
There are signs a girl with a boyfriend likes you that you can observe. I’m not going to tell you what to do if you see these signs in a woman you know. I don’t advocate breaking up relationships. . With that said, however, here are the signs.
Body Language Signs
Body language will be your biggest friend in determining what the girl with the boyfriend really thinks about you. Most body language is conveyed subconsciously, so how she reacts will be out of her conscious control. She might be fighting her attraction to you with her logical mind, but her limbic brain, which controls her body language, will reveal the truth.
Open, engaged body language is a good sign she likes you, at least on some level. When you hang out, if she leans in, has her arms and legs uncrossed, and is generally relaxed, she is very comfortable with you, at least as a friend. You can tell when someone hangs on your every word vs. clearly doesn’t enjoy your company.
Look at her behavior when she’s around her boyfriend and you at the same time. If her body gravitates in your direction, especially if she points towards you with her hips and navel, then she’s definitely more interested in you than her boyfriend. Keep in mind, this doesn’t mean she is romantically attracted to you, just that she finds you engaging.
Eyes are great indicator of attraction. The first indicator is staring. If she stares at you, then she probably is checking you out. You might have to ask your friends if she’s doing this because it likely happens when you’re not looking.
Look also for sustained eye contact. This is when she looks in your eyes. Pay special attention to her pupils (the black part of the eye). Dilated (big) pupils are a sign she likes you. Constricted (small) pupils mean the attraction might not be there. This sign is best observed in normal light, since pupils dilate in low light and constrict in bright light.
The good thing about pupil dilation is that it can’t be controlled. If her pupils are always huge around you, then she is attracted to you.
If she touches you a lot, it is a good sign she feels attraction and likes you even with a boyfriend. Be on the lookout for more suggestive touching, like massaging you, rubbing your arm, getting very close when it’s not necessary, and extra long hugs.
Also, if she lets you touch her in more suggestive ways, it’s a good sign too. Mutual touching, even on the innocent side, reveals that she’s comfortable with you being close to her.
Makes Fun Of Her Boyfriend
A few months ago, a friend of mine met a woman who seemed very interested in him, so he started talking to her. However, a few minutes later a guy came up to her and told her he was going outside to smoke. He asked who the guy was. She said “her husband!”
My friend got up to leave and she asked him where he was going. He laughed and said, “I’m leaving because that’s your husband!” She said, “oh don’t worry about him. He’s a girl!”
One of the biggest signs a girl with a boyfriend likes you is that she makes fun of her man. If she’s actively mocking him around you, it means she no longer views him with respect and admiration. That’s a sign she’s losing attraction to her man or already lost it.
However, if she unloads her relationship problems on you, including his jerk behaviors, that’s a different story. In that case, you’re probably just in the friend zone.
My friend in the previous story knew the married woman liked him because she actively flirted with him. If a woman flirts with you often, then it’s clear that she considers you attractive, at least in most cases. If she flirts with you when her boyfriend is around, it’s an even stronger sign!
I say “most cases” because some women are naturally flirts and love attention. If she does it with most guys, then it’s not a sign you’re anything special to her. However, if she flirts with you more than she flirts with her boyfriend or any other guys, she likely harbors a secret crush…on you.
Most women won’t come out and tell you they like you. They will drop hints and you are expected to take the lead. Women who are in relationships will be less likely to tell you their feelings openly. But, if you pay attention, she might drop hints.
She might say something like she can see herself leaving her boyfriend for the right guy. Maybe it’s “theoretical” talk about sexual activity that could involve you, like how you two could be compatible in bed. Perhaps, she comes out and tells you how attractive you are. These are her ways of giving you subtle signs.
Spends Time With You
If she gives you a lot of her time and attention, it’s a good indicator she likes you. This can be in person attention, like hanging out, or even attention over social media and texting. You also have to ask yourself how much she gives to her boyfriend.
Remember, that she still might like you as a friend and give you lots of time and attention. However, if the type of attention is flirtatious and filled with two way sexual tension, then it’s a good sign she wants more.
What to Do?
You have to decide what to do regarding “taken” women in your life, especially if you see signs she likes you more than her current boyfriend. If she’s not married or attached to him with kids, then leaving her boyfriend for you isn’t really immoral. She’s under no obligation to be unhappy. Although, she should, for the sake of honesty, end it rather than cheating. You don’t want to be involved in that drama!
But, keep in mind, these signs only indicate attraction. Even if she likes you and is unhappy with her current situation, that’s no guarantee she’s leaving him. People pair up for many reasons. And, even if she’s madly in love with you secretly, there’s no certainty she’s going to leave her boyfriend for you.