You really like an attractive guy. He’s so good looking and charming that you want him all to yourself. He gives you attention and hangs out with you. But, he hasn’t revealed what he really feels about you and your relationship. Are you just friends? Does he want more?
Sometimes, it even seems like he’s purposefully playing games, not wanting to appear too eager, but giving you just enough to keep you interested. And, it’s driving you crazy! If only there were signs!
The good news is that even if a guy is playing hard to get or trying to hide his intentions, you can figure out his true feelings. This article will look at signs a guy likes you, but is trying not to show it. As a dating coach who teaches body language, and as a man, I can give you the inside scoop to tell if he likes you…even if he’s playing hard to get.
Body Language Signs
Since he’s trying to hide his true feelings with his words, you can look towards his body for more honest answers. The wonderful thing about body language is that most body language signs are given subconsciously. So, he might be trying to conceal his true thoughts with his words, but his body language signs tell you he likes you. These are great indicators to tell if a guy likes you but is trying not to show it.
In general, open body language means openness to you. This means uncrossed arms, uncrossed legs, smiling, and being relaxed when he’s around you. The opposite would be crossed arms and legs and seeming boxed in and hunched over. Those are signs he’s uncomfortable around you.
This open posture isn’t necessarily a sign he likes you romantically, but it does mean he at least likes you on some level and is comfortable around you. It might just be “as friends” but openness is a great start to your quest to determine his true feelings.
First, see if he stares at you. If you catch him staring when he thinks you aren’t looking, especially “checking you out,” then he’s admiring your looks. Since guys base their initial attraction to women largely on physical attraction, this is a good sign he finds you pretty.
Second, if he makes eye contact with you when you talk, it means he is engaged in your conversations. Look carefully at his pupils. Dilated (large) pupils (the black part of the eye) in normal light are a sign that he likes you. Since he can’t consciously control pupil size, dilated pupils can be a great indicator of attraction. Constricted (small) pupils in normal light indicate less attraction. However, pupils get large in darkness and constricted in brightness. If you use this method, make sure to take the light conditions into consideration.
As a general rule, we get close to what we like and pull away from what we don’t. Touching is about as close as you can get when showing comfort level. So, if he touches you, even casually, it’s a sign that he’s comfortable with you and maybe even attracted.
If that touch is more intimate, like putting his arm around you or giving you a massage, then it probably indicates some romantic interest. If he kisses you, tries to hold your hand, etc. then he definitely has attraction to you. This is the most obvious sign you can get!
Tries To Impress You
When I was in university, I went on a class retreat with a large group. We had one guy, DJ, who clearly liked one of the girls. He talked non-stop the entire weekend, always with her, trying to be funny and clever, impressing her with his alleged wit and charm. Granted, she didn’t say much in return. But, we all knew it was a sign her liked her, even if he tried to play it cool and not show it.
Yes, I know it’s kind of immature and a throwback to junior high. But, if a guy tries to impress you, it’s a good sign he likes you. But, instead of eating bugs or mastering the monkey bars, he tries to win you over with his fancy car, nice job, excellent physique, and social status.
Many guys especially will use humor to try to impress you. Trust me, as a guy, there is nothing more gratifying than getting a girl to laugh at your jokes! Even if he’s trying to hide his true feelings, if he tries to impress you regularly, he really likes you.
Shows You Attention
My twin brother David and I have a saying we teach our relationship and dating clients: people pay attention to those they like. In others words, men and women direct their energy and time towards what they truly value. So, if you want to know signs a guy likes you, but is trying not to show it, look at how he spends his time.
If he gives his time and attention to multiple women, his hobbies, and other endeavors, while you get his scraps, he probably doesn’t like you romantically. If however, he gives you his best time and attention, then it’s a great sign he likes you.
A few examples of getting his best attention are: he drops his other plans for you, he always responds to texts quickly and consistently (if he isn’t busy), he seems genuinely interested in your life, and you’re his first choice among his female friends and acquaintances.
If a guy is showing you an extreme level of attention, even over text and social media, he’s definitely into you in a special way. Granted, he could see you as a really good friend. But, if there isn’t another woman in the picture, he almost certainly likes you as more than a friend.
So, these signs should help you determine if a man in your life has greater feelings for you than he wants to show. Many guys hold back for fear of commitment, shyness, or just to play it cool or hard to get. But, if you look at the signs, you can determine his true feelings.
For more tips from the perspective of a man and a dating coach, we invite you to visit our For Women Page