When I was a senior in university, I met a first year student who was sweet and pretty, but also shy. I tried to guess if she was interested in me, but it was difficult. As a new student in a large school who was naturally shy and passive, the signs were far from clear.
Eventually I was able to figure out her true feelings. But, it took awhile and I had to make an educated guess. Even then, I had to take a bold risk and ask her out. It turned out that she liked me a lot, but was just afraid of showing it.
You might know girls like the one I dated years ago: shy, timid, and maybe even afraid of dating or a deeper relationship. You want to take the next step, but first you need to know the truth. You want to see signs she likes you, but is scared and can’t show you.
Here are a few of those signs. Keep in mind that these are guides, not guarantees. So, look for multiple signs and patterns just to be sure.
Body Language Signs
If she’s holding back and reluctant to show that she likes you, then you can look to her body language to get insights into her thoughts. Since body language is given and received on the subconscious level, even if she might be resisting you out of fear, her body could tell the true tale.
Openness And Comfort
If she is generally reluctant and shy for whatever reason, her level of openness and comfort with you will be a key sign that she likes you. Generally, we open up and relax around those people we like.
Look for open body language such as uncrossed arms and legs, smiling, and stretching out when she’s around you. Also, does she lean towards you when she’s with you? If she hangs on your every word or leans in your general direction with her body while you’re around her, those are good signs she finds you interesting.
Remember, these are signs of comfort, not necessarily attraction. So, she could just like you as a friend. But, she’ll never date you unless the comfort and openness are there first.
Her eyes will be a good window into her true thoughts. The first thing to look for is staring. If you find her staring at you or checking you out, then she’s feeling some attraction towards you. If you can’t catch her doing it, ask your friends if she does it when you’re not looking. Women can be good at hiding their staring!
Next, look at her eye contact. Does she look at your for long periods of time? If you think the eye contact she makes is excessive, it’s a sign she enjoys looking at you. As you probably know, we look at what we find attractive. In this case, it’s you!
Women can be scared of dating for many reasons. Perhaps she was abused. Maybe her dad left at a young age and now she’s scared to commit. It’s possible she suffers from anxiety or body issues and worries about being in a relationship or having sex.
One of the biggest signs she likes you but is scared is having mental or emotional issues. Most people are happy and willing to date and get into relationships. If you think she likes you, but also know that there are negative things in her past, that fact could account for her refusal to admit her feelings.
Pays Attention To You
People usually pay attention to what they like. So, if you get her best time and attention, then it’s a good sign that she likes you. Don’t just examine her time with you in person, but look also at how she acts over text.
If she’s quick to respond to your messages, is eager to hang out, and always gives you first priority when she makes plans, then the signs are pretty clear that she has some type of interest in you. It might be friendship, but it also could be the beginnings of something more. Remember, if she’s scared of relationships or committing, she could be fighting her feelings and convincing herself she’s “just friends” at the start.
Acts Differently Around You
When I was trying to date the girl in my first paragraph, I noticed that she was very socially awkward. She hardly talked to anyone, even the professor in class. She was very introverted and had few friends.
But, when we talked, she was different. She laughed, opened up about her life, and wouldn’t stop talking! I couldn’t believe the difference between the way she treated me and everyone else. You should look at those differences too, if they exist.
If she treats you in a more special, unique way, then she’s developing some kind of feelings for you. It might just be friendship. However, if you’re noticing that she’s giving you more romantic and sexual attention (like flirting, sending sexy selfies, etc.), then those feelings could very well be romantic.
Just because she’s scared of dating you (or of relationships in general) doesn’t mean she lacks normal human desires. And, she certainly feels attraction and the pull towards love, even if she logically fights all that.
In many cases, women who are shy or fearful will drop hints about their deepest feelings towards you. She might say how you’re different from other guys, that she can actually see herself dating you, or that she has a secret crush on someone she knows.
Remember that these hints will be very subtle. You’ll have to do your best to pick up on them since she isn’t going to outright tell you what is going through her mind.
Looks To You For Assurance
Remember that the woman you’re trying to date likely has very complicated, confused, and mixed feelings about your relationship. If she’s trying to hide her true opinions about you out of fear, then her mind is pulling her in two different directions.
Women who like you but are afraid will want assurance before they are willing to commit to you in any capacity, whether it’s regular dating, sex, or a relationship.
This will often come in the form of asking you questions, especially if you’re already dating. She might need assurances you won’t leave her, that you won’t just have sex and then ghost her, or that you can see a future together. She might want assurances that you find her attractive or that you won’t treat her like other guys have in the past.
Sometimes she won’t come out and ask, but will drop hints about it and try to read your personality. If you don’t know her well, she might take this tactic.
So, these signs can guide you with the girl you think likes you, but might be too afraid to either date you or commit. Remember that even if the signs are present, it’s no guarantee she’ll act on her feelings, even if she likes you. Sometimes women can put up pretty strong walls.