My first year at university, I got to know a sweet, attractive girl. As we started to get closer, I began to have obvious questions about the relationship. I had feelings of attraction, but we were clearly just friends too. The situation was confusing. I just wanted a sign!
My situation isn’t unique. The average guy has friends he is attracted to and wonders if he can take the relationship from friendship to romantic.
But, since he doesn’t want to embarrass himself or ruin the friendship, he typically waits, second guesses himself, and holds back. Wouldn’t it be great if there were clear signs she likes you as more than a friend?
The good news is there are signs! They aren’t crystal clear in the sense that you get a “red” or “green” light telling you a definitive “yes” or “no.” However, these signs can at least give you an idea if your feelings of attraction for your friend are shared. This will allow you to make an informed guess if she truly likes you as more than friends or if you’re going to stay buddies.
Now is a good time to take our entertaining and totally and utterly non-scientific “Does Your Friend Secretly Want To Date You?” Quiz!
As you try to read her signs, keep in mind that this is more of an art than science. For example, if she exhibits several of the signs, the odds are better she is attracted to you than if she only has one. Look at the bigger picture based on the tips below rather than taking one point and making a judgment.
In the dating game, women play a more passive role. Even though they are more independent in general these days, for the most part the guy pursues and the girl is pursued. So, most women aren’t going to tell you they want to date you outright.
But, they will drop hints and let you know how they feel about you subtly. They might talk about sex a lot around you, mention physical contact like enjoying kissing or liking holding hands. They might even say things like, “I’d let you do that” to something physical or romantic.
These hints are signs that she likes you. It might mean she wants you to take the lead in asking her out and taking the relationship to the next level.
Body Language Signs
Remember too that body language isn’t done in the conscious mind. While it can be faked, she likely isn’t trying to control it. So, watching her body language is a good indicator of her true feelings. Here are a few body language signs she likes you as more than a friend.
When you talk, does she lean in? Are her arms crossed or open? Does she have her head up when you look at her? Does she spread out when you’re together or is she hunched in tight? In general, more open body language is a sign she likes you, while being closed off is a sign she’s closed to you.
While openness can mean she likes you generally, even as a friend, it tells you at the very least she is comfortable around you. That is the first step towards dating her.
An old saying says, “the eyes are the window of the soul.” In this case, the eyes are the window into her romantic and sexual desires if you pay attention.
First, does she stare at you? If you catch her staring at you, whether it’s from afar or in the form on eye contact, she probably finds you attractive. People tend to stare at what they like and they aren’t aware they’re doing it.
Second, look at her pupils (the black part of the eyes) when you’re with her. If they are dilated (big) in normal light, then it’s a sign she likes you. If they are more constricted (smaller), it means she is less attracted.
Having dilated pupils is a sign of attraction she can’t control, so this is a good indicator. Be aware though, that pupils are dilated in low light and constricted in bright light, so it’s important to observe this in normal lighting conditions.
Most people aren’t going to get touchy with those they don’t find attractive. Appropriately touching is a sign of attraction. By this I mean, giving a shoulder rub, putting an arm around another person, back scratching, etc.
If she is touching you a lot, even in a non-sexual way, she probably finds you attractive, or at least not repulsive.
Obviously, if she’s touching you romantically, like cuddling, little kisses, and more, she thinks of you as more than a friend. Step it up man!
One of the best signs she likes you romantically is if she flirts with you. This usually means laughing at your jokes, being playful, joking around, smiling, and having fun. Some guys aren’t good at flirting, so they miss the signs.
Keep in mind, however, that some women are just naturally flirty and others aren’t. So, if she has a bubbly personality and flirts with all the guys, you aren’t special. Likewise, if she flirts with no one, then her lack of flirting might not mean anything. But, for the average woman, flirting with you is a positive sign.
Finally, David and I have a saying, “people pay attention to what they like.” In other words, a big sign she likes you as more than a friend is how she spends her time. If it’s with you, then there’s a good chance she wants more.
Is she always willing to go out when you ask? Does she reply quickly when texting and engage you? Does she turn others down to spend time with you, even dates?
If you’re getting her best time and attention, then it’s a great indicator that she likes you!
So, these signs should help you determine her true feelings. Remember, look for a pattern. If you have a lot of these signs, then you’re good to go!