Soft Selling The Followup

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Closing can be tough, whether it’s making friends, dating, or even business. But, if you work hard at opening and building rapport, then not closing can be a huge letdown. There is a sense of relief after the close, but you can’t breathe too easily because then you have the followup. Lots of guys royally screw this up.

The follow up is insanely important if you want to get anywhere with a woman long term. And, following up needs to be adapted based on the circumstances surrounding your close. If you met a girl at a coffeeshop, at work, or any other sober environments, it’s much easier to move forward. At a club or similar venue, the followup needs to be soft sold a little bit.

Lots of women go to bars and clubs to meet guys. It’s not ideal for many of them, but they do it because it’s hard to find a large collection of forward men elsewhere (drunken courage goes a long way). However, a lot of these ladies aren’t sold on the bar scene and many of them resort to liquid courage themselves.

Giving out their numbers in the heat of the moment can sometimes lead to a case of buyers remorse or even a case of amnesia. “Who the heck is this guy exactly?” has been thought about many an arriving text message the next day.

This is why, especially if you meet someone who may only remember you in a hazy fashion, it could be necessary to soft sell your followup. Instead of dealing with an inebriated woman looking for a man (you), it’s possible you’re instead texting a hungover woman dealing with regret.

That’s why hard selling the follow up by being overly charming or sexual will likely fail. Instead, it’s best to tear down her wall very slowly. You do that by showing that you’re not a threat. While you don’t want to be bland or get friend zoned, don’t come out of the gate charging. That’s why I use the phrase “soft selling.” You’re pushing towards a relationship, but doing it like you’re not pushing.

You can do this anyway you like, but here’s a good method. Start by telling the girl “hi,” that you met her over the weekend and  hope that she had a good rest of the weekend. Make sure to wait awhile to follow up (at least 24 hours) and this line should be successful.

You’re reminding her of who you are and simply asking how she’s doing. If she gave you her number, she’ll remember that she must at least have liked you. But, your friendly question will ease down her guard and give her a chance to respond your texts.

If she responds, carry on a general conversation and slowly build up to something more.  Get in subtle hints about your interest in her and flirt with her. But, and this is key, you have to make sure her wall is slowly being torn down. The buzzing, horny woman may have liked you, but you also have to win over the sober, regretful woman the next day.

The answer is to start slowly and casually, continually escalate with your intentions becoming more obvious, and, at some point get together with her for a date.  Be patient, this may not be an hour long process. But, if you really like her, it could be worth the effort.

About Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett is a writer, speaker, dating expert, and business owner. His articles have been viewed millions of times, and he has been featured in a variety of publications, including the Wall Street Journal.

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