In the ancient days, the guy at the top of the social totem pole was typically the toughest. He was able to provide for his tribe and protect them. Even today, two of the biggest traits of a male leader are provider and protector. He provides for women (and lesser males) and helps protect them.
If you want to be more of a leader and find popularity, you’ll have to become more of a provider and protector too. One way to do this is to actually stand up for yourself more often.
Sometimes guys think that by being “nice” they will find success. By being agreeable and going with the flow, they believe that other people will look out for their best interests. Then, they are miserable as they hold back their true feelings.
Let me tell you that being agreeable and not standing up for yourself won’t work in most cases. No one admires weak men. It’s why CEOs, dictators, and men in positions of power lean toward the ruthless side (I don’t recommend going this extreme). While you don’t want to be abusive or obnoxious, you still need to stand up for your needs, your convictions, and your opinions with confidence.
Men and women admire guys who can stick up for themselves. This is why “bad boys” are attractive to many women too. Although generally bad news, at least they can protect their women and will gladly fight on their behalf. However, the guy who timidly refuses to stand up for himself will usually be single.
If you fear sticking up for yourself, just remember that by confidently and respectfully asserting your opinion, you are not being a jerk. Most people will actually find that behavior admirable and worthy or respect. And, you’ll actually feel better as you begin to express yourself.
So, start sticking up for yourself and voicing your opinion wherever you are. You’ll receive more respect and start easing some of that pent up stress.