When I was a kid, I had a pink bunny that I loved to play with. I would sleep with it and carry it around the house. However, one of my friends made a joke about my toy once, laughing that it was for a girl. So, while I continued to play with the rabbit, I would hide him when any of my friends came over. I would stash him away in the closet until they left.
Believe it or not, this can happen in dating and relationships too. It’s called stashing and it’s one of the new dating trends the world is talking about.
Stashing In Dating: A Definition
The best stashing definition is this: when your partner hides you away from others. It could be not introducing you to his or her family, friends, or co-workers when he or she has the chance. Stashing in dating and relationships can also occur on social media too. Perhaps you’re missing from photos and events. It can also involve rarely going out in public. It’s like your partner stashes you away, hiding you from the world.
Stashing is labelled a new dating trend, but it’s not a new phenomenon. Like many of the newest dating trends, it’s been happening for years. People have always hidden away lovers, partners, spouses, and even friends from their circles of influence for various reasons.
The reason it’s become such a big deal now is because our lives are so public. So, when your partner stashes you, it becomes extremely obvious, especially if he or she is extremely public about everything from meals to opinions to photos.
Reasons People Stash
Like with any behavior, stashing is done for many reasons. Here are a few of them.
It’s possible that your partner likes you, but, for whatever reason feels ashamed of showing you in public. Perhaps she thinks you’re too immature for her work friends. He might believe that his fitness loving friends might not like your extra weight. It’s not right, but some people stash because they aren’t proud of their partner.
Some people stash their partner out of fear. Maybe they fear judgment because you aren’t a traditional couple. Maybe they are in a conservative community or family and your relationship will be judged. Perhaps their rich uncle wants them to marry someone else and they don’t want to possibly lose an inheritance. So, the relationship isn’t broadcast to the world.
Let’s face it, stashing could also be an indicator you’re being played. Perhaps he has a couple of other girls he’s dating and doesn’t want them seeing photos of you two on social media. Maybe she loves the attention from guys on Instagram and doesn’t want to ruin that.
I know a bartender who told a friend of mine to keep quiet about them dating because she was worried the locals would find out she wasn’t single and they’d tip less! This was an unusual form of stashing!
Some people don’t have a bad motivation for stashing. They might not be active on social media or don’t like their parents much. Maybe they prefer staying inside to going out. Sometimes it could be a great relationship, but it feels like stashing.
Signs of Stashing
Here are a few signs that your partner or the person you’re dating is stashing you. Watch out for them!
No Social Media Love
If your partner is active on social media, but you’re never a part of it, why is that? If he has time to post memes, why not photos of you? If she can talk about a great meal and put up fifteen selfies, why doesn’t she mention you?
Never Wants To Go Out
One sign you’re being stashed is if your partner never wants to go out with you, even though he goes out with others. It might be phrased in positive terms like “let’s stay in and cuddle” or “I just want to be alone with you.”
But, if your partner is normally social, but never with you, you’ve been stashed.
Avoids His Usual Spots
Everyone has regular haunts and places they hang out. It could be restaurants, bars, a gym, church, or anything he or she goes to regularly. If you hear about places your partner goes regularly, but never actually see those places, he’s hiding you from his regular hangouts.
Excludes You From His Hobbies
Does your partner enjoy playing in a soccer league? Attend art classes? Performs in the theater? Everyone has hobbies and activities they love. While you might not share the same hobbies and interests, your partner should at least be inclusive as much as is possible.
But, if your partner actively excludes you from hobbies and interests, like not wanting you watch his soccer games or she tells you that you shouldn’t watch her perform, then it’s a red flag that you’re being stashed.
If people love an activity and happily embrace it, they should want you to be a part of it, even if it’s in a minimal way that involves you supporting them.
So, now you know should be more aware of the definition and signs of stashing, this allegedly new dating trend. What you do with the information is up to you. But, at least you can be aware of what is happening.