At a recent outing, I noticed several guys going around the clubs approaching lots of women. They clearly had their routines down and had some success. But, they also had a lot more failures.
I don’t think they had the social intelligence to know when to be more direct and when to tone it down. In other words, they didn’t understand subtle game.
A lot of guys fail to attract women because their skills are the equivalent of using a flame thrower to toast a marshmallow. While being a pickup tour de force has its place (especially in groups and clubs), there are other times when it’s important to practice a subtle game.
Subtle game would be using your charm and language skills to either take a more low key approach or even hide your true intentions. I like to practice subtle game to lower barriers and do a bit of a “sneak attack” so to speak.
Subtle game is best practiced on certain types of girls. If they have huge walls of whatever sort, you’ll definitely have to be more subtle and charming. You can take those walls down brick by brick through intelligence, rapport building, and charm. Another scenario where subtlety matters would be trying to date a co-worker. You can’t outright come on to her, but you can work your skills under the radar.
There a few ways to successfully practice your subtle game. The first is to be witty and intelligent. Women find intelligence and humor very attractive. By being funny and showing your intelligence you’re being attractive without being overt about it. It has the benefit of being aloof about your intentions as well.
Second, subtle game is often a matter of body language. Have confident, aloof body language and you can show her, in less overt ways, that you’re confident and attractive, but you’re getting her attention in a more subconscious fashion.
Finally, there are times when it’s best to be the confident, quiet alpha. If some idiot at a bar is trying too hard to impress a girl, you can calmly and coolly win her over by not being the histrionic fool. This is where subtle game works quite well. If the guy keeps blabbering, you can throw out witty one liners while he lumbers through terrible material.
So, impressing women isn’t all about being direct and overt. Sometimes the best results come from being more subtle, especially with certain women and in certain circumstances.