When I was in junior high, I asked an eighth grader named Heather to dance with me. It was an unusually bold moment and I was shocked when she said yes. It must’ve been a really great four minutes because after the dance I was convinced that Heather was going to be the love of my life.
I was stuck on Heather for the next few weeks. I called her at home, tried to talk to her at school, and awkwardly asked her to hang out. She finally told me that she had danced with me because she was being nice. I fell fast while she simply forced herself to dance with me because she was a nice girl.
This story illustrates the danger of falling fast when being with a girl. There are a variety of reasons why guys (and girls) fall fast. In my case, I was a preteen starting puberty and was a mess of hormones. For many guys it’s loneliness or desperation. They want in a relationship so badly that any girl who gives them attention is anointed “the one.”
However, it’s best not to fall fast for any woman. This is for a few reasons. First, it’s never good to become too attached. Attachment can lead to feelings (and actions) of neediness. That’s very unattractive, especially to women. Few ladies want a guy who is needy, even if it’s for them.
Second, in most cases when guys fall fast it’s like my story with Heather: the attraction level isn’t mutual. When a guy falls fast and hard and a woman is unsure, it creates a bad situation. No man wants to be on the wrong end of that relationship. It just leads to pain (like when I found out the truth about Heather).
Finally, falling too fast removes other, possibly better, options. Until you get to know a girl, it’s best to keep your options open. Find out if she’s really worth dating. Get to know her and look beyond the infatuation. It does no one any good to become super attached to someone not worth it.
If you’re in danger of falling fast for a girl, step back and look at it rationally. Think with your right head. You’ll be better off in the end.