The Decline of Soft Skills

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A few weeks ago when I was ordering coffee, I let an employee keep the change. His response was “OK.” While I don’t expect him to kiss my ring, a simple “thanks” would’ve sufficed. However, he, like many people in the world today lack “soft skills.”

Soft skills are those abilities people develop that allow them to relate to other people and effectively do their jobs. Some examples of soft skills are work ethic, time management, flexibility, and working well under pressure.

A quick visit to any business will show you that many of these skills are lacking (like my coffee experience). However, these soft type of skills are often highly valued by employers and are even valuable in social situations. Why such a disconnect? There are several reasons why I believe these soft skills are on the decline.

First, a lot of soft skills aren’t being learned at a young age. When I was younger, a child had a lot of personal interaction with others. Now, with the long work hours of parents and the prevalence of technology, many kids simply don’t learn how to communicate with others at a crucial period of brain development. I learned to say “please” and “thank you” at young age. Some people have never learned it!

Second, soft skills are neglected at all levels of education. When was the last time you took a class on managing stress or being flexible? I’m sure the answer is “never.” Schools focus primarily on “hard” skills like math and science to the exclusion of the important soft skills. Someday soon, I’d love to see education start taking soft skills seriously. Of course, my experience with many educators is that they lack those soft skills themselves!

Finally, soft skills are often difficult to teach, which I think explains my second point. Teaching a person how to add two plus two is pretty straightforward. Teaching someone to delay gratification and develop a good work ethic can be very difficult.

At The Popular Man, we try to teach a variety of soft skills like communication, having a good attitude, work ethic, time management, etc. So, not only do we make you more popular, our tips can also make you more successful. The upside of the decline of soft skills is this: those who possess those skills will be in greater demand.

About Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett is a writer, speaker, dating expert, and business owner. His articles have been viewed millions of times, and he has been featured in a variety of publications, including the Wall Street Journal.


  1. Curious as to the how you would like to see schools implement soft skills. As an educator, I do my best daily to model how to do all these things. The issue is my students parents and my administration do not want to hear I’m working on “soft skills” and that’s why I didn’t complete the curriculum.

  2. Jonathan Bennett says:

    I think given the current environment (standardized testing, etc.), focusing on soft skills to any degree would be impossible for administrators to implement. Personally, I’d like to see some type of life skills classes at various grade levels that teach social skills to kids.

    I look back and remember teachers who talked to us about life and interacted with us in a way that today would not be acceptable under the new focus on standardized testing. But, I learned so much, actually hearing about life, engaging in conversations with adults, and listening about how the world works (from people who’d been there awhile).

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