Many guys who’ve tried to date a deeply religious girl have heard that or similar lines. It fits with my experience in university when I met girls in some of the Christian campus groups.
Many of them swore off “dating,” preferring to use the term “courting.” They promoted extreme versions of chastity: many refused to even hold hands before marriage, while others insisted they were “embracing singleness” for an indefinite period of time as part of their religious calling.
However, despite these verbal declarations, what they actually did was different. Once they met a guy they really liked, their views changed. Girls who swore up and down they would never “date” ended up doing just that. Ladies who insisted that the celibate life was for them, ended up married within a few months.
I’m not writing this to condemn or judge religious people. I’m certainly not claiming that all religious women are hypocrites. However, I am saying that when it comes to women, evolutionary biology still rules: human nature wins. It’s true with guys too.
In spite of grand pronouncements and sincere beliefs, women (like men) still have sexual needs and follow basic behavioral patterns. So, if you meet a religious woman, and she starts saying she “doesn’t date” or won’t be romantic, and you want to date her, keep reading.
A Way To Reject You
For some girls, the religious line is an excuse. It’s simply a nice way of rejecting you. Her Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or whatever beliefs act as armor against guys she doesn’t like. Instead of outright rejecting you because she doesn’t find you attractive, she uses her beliefs. It’s an easy way for her to tell you “no.”
If you’re told by a girl she doesn’t date because of her beliefs, it could be true or a polite way of telling you she’s not interested.
For some women, stated religious beliefs are “tests” (often called “shit tests”) for men. They want to see how far a man will go in trying to date them. The guys who hear “I don’t date” and give up, fail. They want to know that you’re willing to go to enough lengths to date them.
Those who hear “I don’t date,” yet don’t care about that supposed hindrance, have a chance at success. For this group, you simply have to push it a little. At this point, religious belief is more of an excuse or test.
If she says, “I don’t date” in this situation, I suggest using a line like, “I understand where you’re coming from. I thought for a while God didn’t want me to date, but then I knew if God created someone as hot as me, he wouldn’t want me hiding my light under a bushel.” It is funny and calls her out a little bit on that behavior. And, it’s a subtle religious reference from the words of Jesus.
However, some women genuinely hold to religious beliefs, study spiritual texts, and regularly attend worship services. For them, religion isn’t an excuse, but an important part of their life. But, they’re still not impossible to win over, even if their religion makes them harder to get to know.
Dating Religious Women
While they might not be the easiest to date, especially if you aren’t religious, it’s still very possible. Remember, however, that when dating a sincerely religious woman that her faith is important to her. Make sure you respect her values, even if they aren’t important to you.
Many religious women don’t even date guys who share their beliefs. But, they aren’t going to date you if your goal is to show disrespect to their faith and beliefs. With that in mind, here are few tips for dating religious women.
First, they may try to suppress their urges and deny nature, but that doesn’t stop the existence of the urges. In my experience, all women, whether atheist or fundamentalist Christian, or anything in between, still are attracted to charming, powerful, high value men. If that is you, then you can win over anyone, even the girl in the hair bun and jeans dress (if that’s your thing).
Second, for some religious women, their religion changes the dating game little. I know many women who are very religious on the outside, but behave no differently than non-religious women in reality. They date the same number of attractive bad boys as everybody else. So, trying to date them will be just as easy (or hard if you don’t know how) as dating anyone else. In fact, if you’re a good person who is also attractive your goodness will make you more appealing.
Third, some religious girls are very sincere about their anti-dating beliefs and will take more effort to win over. For the vast majority of these girls, it’s still very possible unless they’re taking their first vows to enter the convent (even then, it’s possible).
Obviously, as a guy, you’ll have to decide if it’s worth it to accept the challenge. If you really like the girl, then it may be worth it to go through the effort to get her to drop her anti-dating stance. If it’s not, then find another girl, and that alone may be enough to suddenly propel your “I don’t date” friend into looking at you romantically.
So, if you like a girl who’s very religious and says she doesn’t date, don’t give up. It may take more effort, but she’s just as obtainable as any other women. That is, of course, if you know the right techniques to begin with (and project attractiveness).