You are out at a festival and meet a cool girl. You both have a good time and she gives you her number at the end of the night. That’s when you start to get really nervous. You’re not alone. Most guys get anxiety about texting a girl for the first time because they don’t want to mess it up.
Not only does the content of the text message matter if you want to see her again, but so does the timing. Many men overthink the whole process, trying to figure out the “rules” of when to text a girl.
Don’t Text Immediately
First, let’s bring up where guys obviously fail: texting immediately. I’ve known guys who text the girl as soon as they separate from her. It might be innocent like “Nice to meet you” or something else that reeks of desperation (like “you’re so beautiful”). Either way, don’t text immediately, even if you’re dying to do it. In fact, if you’re dying to text her, you definitely shouldn’t!
Any guy who texts a woman immediately after meeting her tells her: I don’t have options. Even if a guy feels like he has no other options than that one woman, he needs to make her think he has other women lined up, or, at the very least, a life. Many men think that immediately following up with the woman makes him look interested.
The problem with texting her immediately is that you look too interested. You want her to think you want her, but not that you need her. While it’s your job to take the lead, you want to make her want your attention. Holding back creates a couple of feelings within her: desire and anticipation. Those are good feelings for her to have for you.
The 24 Hour Rule
Some experts recommend the twenty-four hour rule, which means to wait at least twenty-four hours to followup by text or social media. This advice is helpful in many ways, but it’s a mistake to treat it as a hard and fast rule.
The twenty-four hour rule is great for guys whose immediate impulse is to desperately text a woman the second they get out of her presence. If a guy feels like he absolutely has to text a girl, then forcing himself to wait 24 hours is going to train him to actually show some patience and a lack of desperation. In that way, it’s a positive. Plus, it’s better to wait a day, than to text some needy message immediately.
But, there are times when waiting twenty-four hours isn’t helpful. If a guy is certain that the girl is already attracted to him, there’s nothing wrong with texting her a couple of hours later, just so long as his texting is casual and not needy.
In fact, in 2017, lots of women have so many guys messaging them that if you wait too long, you’re going to go to the back of her queue. So, following a hard and fast “24 hour” rule can be a hindrance.
Above all, be flexible and adaptable and always take the next right, detached step. Rules are helpful as guidelines, but, when a guy masters the material, he knows that he has to do what is right and works, above all.
We also have more detailed advice about how long you should wait to text a girl. Check it out.