An acquaintance of mine in college once bemoaned the fact that he couldn’t meet anyone new. He had a few friends, but seemed to be by himself most of the time. One day, he was doing his usual complaining in the dorm commons when another guy on the floor had enough. He asked this friendless guy how often he actually went out and talked to new people. Unsurprisingly, the answer was “hardly ever.” The guy preferred playing video games and hoped (I guess) that his desired new friends would come to him.
In the real world, it doesn’t work that way. If I’m shy and you’re shy, then unless we have a very outgoing friend trying to bring us together, then it’s highly unlikely we’ll ever meet. If you are lonely, it’s possible it’s because you’re not around people on a regular basis, or at least new ones. If you want to kick the loneliness, you’ll have to get out there, anywhere really.
There are many reasons why people fail to “go out.” Sometimes it’s shyness or fear of public places. However, in most cases, it’s simply a pattern of not going out. A lot of guys get so occupied with work or hobbies that they never really get in a regular groove of leaving the house. When Friday and Saturday roll around, they’re too tired or too busy to plan an outing. Then, this behavior turns into a habit and the guys turn into homebodies.
Another problem that keeps guys from meeting new people is picking the wrong places. They choose places where people are closed to interaction with strangers. Or, they go to venues they may hate (like clubs) because they lack the creativity or insight to pick a good place.
So, we’ve established you need to go out to make friends and get dates. However, how do you find a good place with a lot of people that fits your personality? Fortunately, we’ll tackle that issue tomorrow. Make sure to come back!